i spend every waking moment of my life trying to somehow suppress my desire to kill myself. My bed sits adjacent to a window, and sometimes I feel as though that window calls my name. I've removed the screen before, just to get some fresh air and perhaps a sense of adrenaline through my veins. All of this because I'm trans, because I'll never have the semblance of a normal life. I just want to be a woman more than anything in the world, and yet God must hold that from me while freely handing it out to everyone else. I remember digging into my perineum as a child, hoping that there was secretly an opening down there. Part of me still clings onto the hope that perhaps if I pray to God hard enough and want it badly enough, that some day I'll wake up and I'll be a cis woman and will have always been a cis woman and this bad dream can finally come to and end. But every day I wake up only to discover that it's not, and the only way to truly end this living nightmare is to end my life.
So frick you, @CrystalVulpine. I have gender dysphoria. There is no reason for it; it is an irrational desire which can only partially be sated by transition. The "why you should transition" post was a light-hearted attempt to highlight some of the positives of transitioning (and poke some fun at chuds), rather than all of the negative. But rhetoric is lost on rDrama, and due to low literacy rates in the US, many (including you!) took it literally. Frick you, you have absolutely no foundation to speculate upon feelings which only I truly know. I tend to keep these things close to my heart, but I absolutely loathe people like you who erroneously take lack of mention to imply lack thereof.
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Genuine question, not trolling. If the above statement is true, it sounds awful. If something in your brain is hurting you this much and theres nothing you can do to make it go away, why is this not considered mental illness?
Question part 2: If there was something other than transitioning that you could do that would make the dysphoria go away, would you do it?
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It is. The DSM (Diagnostic And Statistical Manual Of Mental Disorders) is the authoritative source on mental disorders, and it contains an entry for "gender dysphoria." It's a recognized mental condition. Mine is a lot worse because I also have depression on top of it.
Yes.
My mother is a pyschologist with a PhD. She took me to all sorts of doctors and therapists to try and find that "something other than transitioning." It doesn't exist. All it did was substantially delay my transition and make me cry. My gender identity is innate to my perception of self; gender dysphoria is something that has underscored my entire life. It's not something that can just be unlearned or undone through therapy.
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Thanks for explaining to me. I am an older millenial, probably closer to gen X than millenials. I havent had much interaction with trans people, and the interactions i have had were with weirdos with no social skills. Your story still feels familiar. Its not exactly the same on account of gender dysphoria, but i have had plenty of buddies with regular dysphoria.
(Side note: I'm not sure how to relate to you, your transgender experiences are outside my wheelhouse. I'm tiptoeing around because I know you had a tough day yesterday and I'm not trying to pile on. That said, because your transgender, then you know what its like to be male, and thats how I know how to relate to you. I dont normally talk to women other than my wife's friends, and I dont really listen to them because they arent really interesting to me.)
I noticed starting around the mid 2000s that lots of guys around college age went through some serious depression bouts. I'm not sure what caused them, but it became more common than not to have some really sad years then. Some handled it by pouring themselves into school, some into dating, some into drinking and drugs. The ones with bad dysphoria became obsessed with working out. I went through a partying phase that lasted about 7 years. All the guys that I knew that went through this came out of their depression once they started to get their life in order. For some it was career, for some it was a girl or family, whatever it was they found some type of purpose and it really did wonders for them. I see the same general struggle in trans people. Where it seems to go south for them is that they make their gender identity their purpose. That seems both more complicated and not quite strong enough to me. It relies on other people to buy in on your purpose, to validate it. Thats the part that I think will always let you down. Instead of looking inward for validation of your purpose, it relies on external validation. And youll never be able to control how other people respond to your purpose. I might have this all wrong and total acceptance of trans people would be enough to chase the demons out of your head, but my gut says its not that easy. Sorry for the giant wall of text, and sorry if I have offended you. I dont serious post much, so I hope you read this in the spirit that I wrote it. Feel free to DM if you want to discuss more.
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This is a good grasp, although it misses some details.
This is true for me but not in general. Trans people who are happy in their lives don't make their gender identity their purpose. They also don't crypost about it on the internet. What I need to do is accept the fact that I will never be cis and in spite of that still live a fulfilling life. Unfortunately, this is much easier said than done.
Also, when people berate and judge you based on your looks, it makes you focus on those things. I think it's a bit tougher for trans ppl to "find purpose" because we're seen as the laughing stock of the internet. It's hard to move on when people keep pulling you back down.
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Have you looked much into Stoicism? Its done wonders for me. Theres a few podcasts I can recommend, if you want them. I was going through a really tough time a while ago, thought I was about to get divorced. I was going through heck fighting every day, dreading coming home, and generally watching my life fall apart. I started getting up earlier than my wife, going for a small run, and drinking coffee while "meditating" on a dock down the road from my house. I'd listen to these stoic meditations that continually talked about how letting go and accepting the things you cant control leads to a happier life. Control the things that you can control and let all the other shit go. It sounded easy but it wasnt. I would then finish my run and lift weights. Weirdly, that morning routine did more to change my life than anything else I have ever done. I started going to therapy, not to b-word, but to ask how I could be a better man for my family. Thinking I was about to get divorced and choosing to better myself anyway was legit one of the most gratifying things I've ever done. I'm not sure how that all lines up with what you are experiencing, but maybe theres something in my rant that can help you.
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This stuck out to me. The internet is not where you find purpose. The internet is for shenanigans. Finding purpose is all about searching for a cause thats bigger than yourself, something that sits on your mind most of the time and drives you to do more than smoke weed and play video games all day. Something in us drives us to need a reason to get out of bed in the morning. Whatever this drive is, i think thats where the religion comes from. But it doesnt have to be religion. Its got to be something that consists of more than just you.
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i get where you're coming from, but "if there was a magic cure, would you take it?" isn't really gonna reveal anything
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So far theres only been one medically accepted treatment for dysphoria, and its cutting off your peepee and balls. It seems to me that trans people are so deep in the sad that they refuse to look at the problem from any other way. I want to believe that it stems from an actual place, but 95% of the trans people i've met and seen are really just failsons that suck being men/women, so they imagine the other side as having it easier. All other mental illness treatment has been shouted down by trains so now the psych field is petrified to look at any other reasonable treatment that might be more effective.
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Gender dysphoria 100% isn't real, it's just complex depression/anxiety that the person doesn't fully understand but they've let themselves be convinced that it must be something to do with gender. Then they frick themselves up, get a momentary high off it because it feels like they're doing something, then feel worse because the actual issue hasn't been fixed and now they've done a bunch of dumb shit to themselves. This repeats with every new "treatment".
The actual solution is to exercise and work out and get higher testosterone and sunlight, at which point all the wibbly wobbly girly feelings will just go away because it was always just anxiety
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Thats my gut feeling. But I dont really know enough about it. Everyone who's ever been in a depression hole has felt like there was something different about their case of the sads. There probably is some unique cases where someone has a broken enough brain that cant be cured by the regular treatment for depression/amxiety, but those were the people who were tranning out in the 50s and 60s. The rest seems like social contagion and it makes me sad that we are enabling some really heinous life altering shit when lifting weights and going for a run will have the same impact.
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It's absolutely the same as the people who like, tattoo scales all over themselves because they're convinced they could only be happy if they were a lizard. We know that's not true and something else is wrong with them because it's impossible that there's anything in the human brain that would have a "sufficiently lizard" check which is making them sad. People of gender are the same only society has a more mystical belief in women so it's easier for people to fool themselves into thinking that if they could get the Golden Kitty it would cure their brain aids.
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Yeah, just consider how much trans overlap there is in the furry community. When someone says that they're really a fox, clearly they're mentally ill and just wishing that they could escape their life by becoming something different. But when they say that they're also a woman, that we have to take seriously.
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I am broken. It's not even remotely the same. All these "trans" people are really a cult, setting the "cool" trend for kids these days. Their explanation is bullshit, it's entirely based on sexist stereotypes; but that doesn't really matter, because it's really a thinly-veiled method for political recruitment. Anyone who says this is cool is faking it or deluding themselves, it is one of those things you would not wish on your worst enemy.
I will tell you I probably would have
ed out if I had been born 10 or more years earlier than I was, before the 
garbage. People hate 
s right now for a reason. And the confusing and insane gender ideology narrative held me back for a long time from coming to terms with what's wrong with me. They also hate me and others like me, because our existence disproves the narrative, therefore we're also "transphobic".
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idk I think it's possible the feelings can arise from genuine foidbrain elements developing in a moid, but with that said that'd only be temporary imo. After a certain point of maturity people tend to realize that there really isn't all that much of a difference in mental faculty, or rather the difference isn't nearly as big as you thought it was.
If I castrated myself then realized I didn't need to do that I'd probably off myself too. That's such an extreme measure. And people who try and talk you out of it are genocidal fascist bigots, while the people who encourage it are loving and accepting.
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There isn't much of a difference, no. However, my assumption that there was is what made me previously rule out the possibility of having any s*x-based problems.
My experience isn't normal though. What I was born with is very rare (thank GOD); most of the "trans" things you see revolve around social roles and sexist assumptions, basically the opposite. And that's a large part of what prevented me from realizing what's wrong with me for a long time.
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wait your assumption that there is a huge difference, made you rule out the possibility of having s*x-based problems?
As in if there weren't much of a different, s*x-based problems wouldn't be ruled out?
Sry having trouble understanding what you mean could u elaborate?
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That's exactly what I mean. There must be something that makes me feel this way, but because I'm not exactly like a stereotypical Barbie doll I didn't think it could possibly be this.
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Oh I understand now. I'm sorry to hear that! Were you able to at least kinda work something out for yourself?
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“Compulsions aren't real, just feel-bads” lol
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Compulsions AREN'T real. I have OCD but the answer to me feeling like I need to do my specific stupid compulsion is not to just tell me to do it and that it's because god is talking to me. It's to identify that my brain has a problem in it and it's telling me things that are not real
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Compulsions are real, and sometimes they're harmful, sometimes they're benign. It's not a distinct entity from you and denying them is as much grooming yourself as finding another way to cope with them.
I appreciate your perspective though, from the other side of the aisle.
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I believe your experience 100%, because it has also been mine, but you can't say so conclusively that it "isn't real". In my case more testosterone is the worst thing you could give me. What I am dealing with is quit different from what you're used to seeing and what trans ideologues want you to believe. Even if I somehow managed to pull through and become happy, I'd still have the feeling nagging at me with no end in sight. There's truly no hope for some people, and that's the sad reality.
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What he means is getting your life together instead of chopping off your peepee
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you fookin bigottttttt!! do you realize what you jus said is fashism??
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It does help to distinguish something the trans ideology is trying to erase: that there are people who are genuinely in distress about their sexual characteristics. But we can't talk about that, because then it wouldn't be the cool thing anymore, and it would mean that, oh heaven forbid, gender might not be a social construct!
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This is a really
good question. I'll answer 
once the bird site award 
elapses
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I'm not OP but I'll answer.
1. Because 99.99% of "trans" people anymore are a bunch of snowflakes who aren't suffering from it at all, instead they're self-diagnosed kids who think being part of the oppressed group is "cool" (the irony being that they are the single biggest reason for that oppression). They don't understand the difference between something like autism which makes someone function differently, vs. a disease in need of eradication that does nothing but cause unceasing, hopeless pain that can only get worse. Having a nonsense "gender identity" is the cool thing right bow, whether it makes any sense or not.
s are rare, if every other kid is "trans" something is up.
2. In a heartbeat. Why wouldn't I?
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