@Norman's comment on 'Genetic mistake curses those responsible'

Genetic mistake curses those responsible

https://old.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1g5o3dh/aita_for_calling_my_parents_selfish_for_having_me/?sort=controversial

Edit: most of you figured it out anyway. It is Huntingtons.

I (28F) recently found out I have a serious hereditary illness that's going to screw up my life, and I am so mad I can barely type this out. It's a degenerative illness, no cure, nothing. My body's just gonna slowly get worse. And the kicker? My parents have known this could happen my whole life and never said a darn word.

This illness runs in my family. My dad's mom had it. His sister—my aunt—died from it a few years ago. I was living overseas when she passed, and my parents told me it was cancer. Cancer. They lied right to my face. It wasn't until I got diagnosed that they finally came clean and admitted she had the same illness I do. When I confronted them, my dad wouldn't even give me a straight answer. I asked if he had it too, and he dodged every single question, acting like I was overreacting.

My mom, on the other hand, tried to justify it by saying they didn't want me "living in fear." Are you kidding me? I could have been prepared! Instead, they chose to let me walk into this blind. And here's where it gets worse—I have a 2-year-old son. My child might have this, and they never told me I was at risk. I could've had him tested, made informed decisions, anything. But no, they took that from me, and now I live in constant fear for him too.

Then my mom had the nerve to ask me if I would have rather not been born than deal with this. Can you believe that? She turned it around on me, like I'm the monster for even thinking it. And you know what? Yes, I said it. Yes, I would rather not have been born than deal with this disease. They made a selfish choice, and now I'm paying for it. They knew the risks and did it anyway, for themselves. They wanted kids, and now I'm stuck with this. I called them selfish, and I meant every word.

Now, they're begging me not to tell my younger siblings. They don't know about this yet, haven't been tested, and my parents want to keep it that way. They're hoping they'll get lucky, but I'm not going to lie to them. I refuse to let them be blindsided like I was. They deserve to know the truth.

I've gone low contact with my parents. I can't stand to even think about them right now. My mom keeps trying to guilt-trip me, saying they were "just trying to protect me." Protect me from what? The truth? No, they weren't protecting me. They were protecting themselves, from the guilt of knowing they passed this on, and now they want me to protect them too. But I won't. I love my son and my siblings too much to lie to them.

AITA for going LC and refusing to keep their secret, even though they claim they were just trying to "protect" me?

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

View entire discussion

JimieWhales she/bitch An educated, strictly organic, ortho molecular aware patriotic princess. 1mo ago #7180486

Life is shit for everyone in their own way. Very few are blessed.

I look at you, I look at the person who burned to death in a house fire down the street, I look at the child r*ped on epstien island

I think your being a tad entitled, assuming you or any of us deserve better.

This is life, we are born, we reproduce and we die.

Despite your odds, you achieved lifes goal. Thanks to your parents.

In the grand scheme Huntington doesn't sound that bad? Death within 10-15 years of first symptoms.

Blessed compared to some lives. Kinda crappy compared to others. Defo not being un-born worthy.

I think those lads tortured for 30 years in guantanamo maybe have a case for being unborn, or the ppl who's skin is on literal fire due to nerves at all times.

But you get to live a good 70%+ of your life free. What's to complain about. I think your just going through the stages of grief after receiving the news, and currently on the enraged step

She deserved to be told so that she could prevent passing down the disease again

So she saying if her son was gonna have it she wouldn't of had him?

Awful take on her behalf tbh. She mad she didn't abort her son based on a disease he'd only have at end of his life?

OP said she wouldn't have had kids if she had known. That doesn't necessarily mean an abortion, it can also mean that she never would have tried for a kid.

Huntingtons can begin to kick in at 30 years old, do you consider 30 to be the end of your life?

I consider dead in 10-15 years before death end of your life regardless of age. I think 30 years free, dead by 45 is a decent life in your scenario yes.

But she has a kid, she's saying this retrospectively. She's looking at her kid rn, saying I wouldn't of had you if I'd known. Thats fricked.

Anyone of us could get cancer right? Are our parents right to not have us if they could magically know we would one day get cancer. Nah. Nah. This is fricked and only considered ok due to the nature of heredity disease foresite.

As said b4, I think she's processing the information poorly, and going thru the stages of grief

Dude I cannot take you seriously if you're genuinely telling me you consider 30 to be at the end of your life. Thats an absurd statement.

There's nothing fricked about saying that you would have made different decisions about having children if you had been fully informed of how their life would end up. She could have adopted, or fostered, or done genetic testing. She's not saying she regrets having her child, she's saying she's angry she was never given all of the information so she could have made an informed decision. It seems to me you're too desperate to be angry that you refuse to understand the distinction.