Dave the Diver GDGOTY 2023 (Greatest Dissapointing Game of The Year)
https://store.steampowered.com/app/1868140/DAVE_THE_DIVER
Verdict:
Sucks (Like really. No cap.)
Reason(s):
Too much water.
(Also, not an indie game.)
Repetitive.
Slow.
Dumb.
Boring.
Price:
Too much price. (20 USD, serious? This is a 10 dollar game at best.)
Brief:
Starfield is big boring. Too much space, but better than a side scrolling game. As things are turning out and the year is ending, Dave the Diver is quite literally one of the worst games of the year. While Starfield was being lauded prior to its release, people were calling it Skyrim in Space (That was a lie.)
So, Dave the Diver's description via stream is as follows:
DAVE THE DIVER is a casual, singleplayer adventure RPG featuring deep-sea exploration and fishing during the day and sushi restaurant management at night. Join Dave and his quirky friends as they seek to uncover the secrets of the mysterious Blue Hole.
The first pause should be the “casual”, portion of that description. Dave is obviously a diver. He catches fish and runs a sushi restaurant at night. Dave is also obviously a roly-poly. I do hope they considered the amount of oxygen usage by dave considering he's def not in any form of shape aside from a circle.
The second part--quirky? IDK, but that sounds boring. Who can truly define what is normal? And, lastly: TF is this blue hole?
The blue hole is where the fishing and quests take place. There's boss fights, because of course there is.
Jelly fish boss. Okay. There's also a hermit crab boss. That's just two examples.
Okay, so the big things I mentioned is that there's too much water and that it's a side scroller type of game. There's also the price (20 dollars?!) and the almost deceptive indie dev perception.
Platforms
This game is available on multiple platforms which include:
MacOS (The superior Operating Sytem)
Windows (Second Best)
Nintendo Switch(First Best)
SteamOS (Linux in Sheep's clothing. Worse than DOS.)
Not an Indie Studio
The developer of the game is the indie game studio Mintrocket, but the truth is that they're actually a subsidiary of Nexon which was responsible for Maple Story.
I am not of the camp that thinks big studios can't make good games, because obviously that's not true, but we can't ignore the importance that “indie” plays in the minds of consumers and thus influences their purchase decisions in the “game space.”
Summary:
So, in total we have a game that's 10 dollars at best, has too much water--boring, repetitive gameplay and too short.
The game does have a relaxing atmosphere and for many people they may enjoy the experience, but you shouldn't.
Rating:
Do Octupi Shit in the Woods?
4/10
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ai generated review
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I actually wrote this. So, not ai generated.
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r-slur generated review
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Better.
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neighbor you said the same thing 5 times
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I'm glad you noticed.
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Carp shilled this as the best game he's ever played. Enjoy your ban.
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I would get banned for talking against someone's top 10? People can shill all they want, it's not my fault he has the personality of a paper box.
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Carp has bad taste, he also likes no mans sky
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NMS? Too much space.
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another game I'll never buy and save my money
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Piracy costs nothing
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It wastes your time if your playing trash
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If youre playing video games, your time was never valuable
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Yes, yes. Leisure is for cute twinks. Produce capital 24/7.
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Reading a book or exercising doesnt produce capital, but it's also not a waste of time
Keep yourself safe you commie cute twink
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Yes, like you can't workout, read a book and then play something, absolutely incomprehensible of having several hobbies. And don't call me a commie cute twink.
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Eh, what kind of books are you reading? @mithrandir is right, get bent.
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IDK, time enjoyed is not time wasted.
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This is good, I support your saving your earned money.
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You got further than I did. I was only able to get through an in game week before I quit. The game itself is boring and sucks but I was still impressed by how much they made the restaurant portion stand out as terribly boring in comparison to the rest of the game.
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I'm more so impressed at the amount of money they made.
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“Lol it has anime references and it has a funny black man as a sushi chef!!!!” - Reddit
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LOOOL SO COOOOL
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Honestly if you have to reach this much to call a game bad it might be fun.
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Well, people reach to call games good. And, naturally, there are people who enjoy bad games. They just suck imo.
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legion commander marsey!!!!
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Like a dragon gaiden the man who erased his name goty
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I couldn't comment yesterday cause ban, but YES! I just finished it the other day, IDK about GOTY, but it was def one of the top games of the year. The ending got me.
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I'm always for being negative and pooping on well recived games, and some things you say seem to make sense.
But overall this is one of the worst reviews I ever read. Are you on drugs or something?
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Also, tbh, maybe I should—it might have made this a polished pile of shit.
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Idk. Do octupi shit in the woods?
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I quite liked it for a while but it just kept going on far too long. I think I was fairly near the end but it just got so repetitive I couldn't be bothered anymore, if they cut the length down to 1/2 or 3/4 it would have been one of the better games I'd played this year
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Had to read 80% of the post to find out OP is a macstrag and that I was wasting my time
Here's the real review: Never buy Korean games. Ever. Don't play them either, even if you get it for free. Feel free to think of this comment when you reflect on such choices later in life.
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That's not the real review. And btw, you're r-slurred.
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I enjoyed it
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The serving of the food ruins the flow of the game, and the writing is campy/cringe. I pirated it, and still couldn't find the will to play it
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Goyslop
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bro elobrate. you just told me it has boss fights.
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Yes, so essentially it's typical side scroller action. Boss does something, you have to dodge and then get some shots in. There's en eel boss battle, take a look:
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You sound like a npc from a Built By G*mers podcast. No reviewing chops on you, sorry.
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Why are you hating? Did you think I'd do a super in depth review that nobody would read? 😂 the game isn't good imo. All side scrolling games are very repetitive.
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Snapshots:
https://store.steampowered.com/app/1868140/DAVE_THE_DIVER:
ghostarchive.org
archive.org
archive.ph (click to archive)
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