Dave the Diver GDGOTY 2023 (Greatest Dissapointing Game of The Year)
https://store.steampowered.com/app/1868140/DAVE_THE_DIVER
Verdict:
Sucks (Like really. No cap.)
Reason(s):
Too much water.
(Also, not an indie game.)
Repetitive.
Slow.
Dumb.
Boring.
Price:
Too much price. (20 USD, serious? This is a 10 dollar game at best.)
Brief:
Starfield is big boring. Too much space, but better than a side scrolling game. As things are turning out and the year is ending, Dave the Diver is quite literally one of the worst games of the year. While Starfield was being lauded prior to its release, people were calling it Skyrim in Space (That was a lie.)
So, Dave the Diver's description via stream is as follows:
DAVE THE DIVER is a casual, singleplayer adventure RPG featuring deep-sea exploration and fishing during the day and sushi restaurant management at night. Join Dave and his quirky friends as they seek to uncover the secrets of the mysterious Blue Hole.
The first pause should be the “casual”, portion of that description. Dave is obviously a diver. He catches fish and runs a sushi restaurant at night. Dave is also obviously a roly-poly. I do hope they considered the amount of oxygen usage by dave considering he's def not in any form of shape aside from a circle.
The second part--quirky? IDK, but that sounds boring. Who can truly define what is normal? And, lastly: TF is this blue hole?
The blue hole is where the fishing and quests take place. There's boss fights, because of course there is.
Jelly fish boss. Okay. There's also a hermit crab boss. That's just two examples.
Okay, so the big things I mentioned is that there's too much water and that it's a side scroller type of game. There's also the price (20 dollars?!) and the almost deceptive indie dev perception.
Platforms
This game is available on multiple platforms which include:
MacOS (The superior Operating Sytem)
Windows (Second Best)
Nintendo Switch(First Best)
SteamOS (Linux in Sheep's clothing. Worse than DOS.)
Not an Indie Studio
The developer of the game is the indie game studio Mintrocket, but the truth is that they're actually a subsidiary of Nexon which was responsible for Maple Story.
I am not of the camp that thinks big studios can't make good games, because obviously that's not true, but we can't ignore the importance that “indie” plays in the minds of consumers and thus influences their purchase decisions in the “game space.”
Summary:
So, in total we have a game that's 10 dollars at best, has too much water--boring, repetitive gameplay and too short.
The game does have a relaxing atmosphere and for many people they may enjoy the experience, but you shouldn't.
Rating:
Do Octupi Shit in the Woods?
4/10
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ai generated review
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I actually wrote this. So, not ai generated.
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neighbor you said the same thing 5 times
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I'm glad you noticed.
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r-slur generated review
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Better.
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