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People say zoomers are too tiktok brained to appreciate slower multiplayer games but I think the real answer is that competent speedy design blows everything else out of the water and that's what they've grown up with.

I'm mainly talking about multiplayer strategy or casual games.

Shooters like hunt: showdown rock because they're deliberately slow but still arcadey enough to be fun and not a sim.

Among Us was simple but it actually got shit moving. If you died you still had stuff to do or you could watch your friends for entertainment. The whole thing was done in like ten minutes.

My thesis is weak I'm pivoting to card games.

Marvel Snap is appealing because most games are like five minutes long. Even that has a ton of wasted time though. But compared to other card games it's not even close. In a mid-long game of hearthstone you'd be spending at least ten minutes waiting for your opponent to make a move over the course of a game. Why the frick is a turn 75 seconds. What calculations could you possibly be doing on turns 1-3 that take more than 15 seconds of deliberation. Lets not forget all the bonus time that gets added to watch the stimmy animations and sounds.

Oh but MTGA has a time bank system! Okay, the turns are still too long to begin with. And all of the benefit of the timebank is lost five-fold because you're given an extra 10 seconds to deliberate fricking everything. "The opponent is casting a spell, do you do anything? The spell triggered an effect, do you do anything? The effect triggered your own effect, what are you doing? Your effect was reacted to by their ability, do you react? Their ability triggered another ability, do you react? Okay... they played their Pelican. Uh oh, the opponent is casting another Pelican spell, do you do anything? The spell triggered an effect, do you do any-" Shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up. Holy frick I don't care. They have an auto-pass turn button that from what I can tell does literally nothing as I am still asked to manually click resolve 20 times in a row. I alt-f4'd specifically because of that.

Blood Bowl was one of my favorite games ever. The ranked mode cut the turn timers in half. People whined, then got told to shut the frick up because nobody wants to sit and watch another player move pieces around a board for 3 minutes with no opportunity for interactivity.

Have you played multiplayer civ as an adult? Woo hoo so fun even on the fastest mode nothing happens after 2 hours then someone starts logging off every 15 minutes because the game fricking sucks in a multiplayer environment. Dune: Spice Wars was interesting but that game is like 2.5 hours long on average and it could easily be 1.5.

CS2 is like simultaneously too fast and a total drag. Search and Destroy in CoD was fun because you got to make "people" mad for a few rounds by doing belligerent plays then everyone went home. You did not spend 80 out of 90 minutes spectating or staring at the walls waiting for something to happen.

I legitimately spend more time watching clouds than playing multiplayer slop these days but maybe I'm just :marseycrayoneater:

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Couch co op Goldeneye and Perfect Dark.

:marseybo#omer:

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I got into marvel snap for a bit when I was commuting by train and needed stuff to do. After that I tried some other online internet card games and they were so fricking slow in comparison I got bored after like an hour or two :marseyzoomer:

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I like marathon month long civ games and battle games that last forever that end up focused on a single point on a map

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That's how I play solo

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Doesn't work when people have different schedules.

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Carp bows to Bardfinn.

In contact with Admin

Possess woman-like abilities.

Control Internet with an iron but fair fist.

Own over 60 subreddits globally.

Will bankroll the first reddit on Mars (Bardit will be be the first reddit).

Direct descendants of the ancient royal blood lines.

Can destroy entire subreddits with a single email.

Own 99% of DNA editing research facilities on Earth.

First designer babies will in all likelihood be Bardfinn babies.

Is said to have 215+ IQ, such intelligence on Earth has only existed deep in Tibetan monasteries & Area 51.

Ancient Indian scriptures tell of one angels who will descend upon Earth and will bring an era of enlightenment and unprecedented technological progress with them.

The Tunguska event in 1908 was actually the Bardfinn arriving on planet Earth. How else do you think they got their birthing person last name and how else do you explain the exponential acceleration in technological and scientific development since then?

They own Nanobot R&D labs around the world.

You likely have Bardbots inside you right now.

Bardfinn is in regular communication with Aimee Challenor, forwarding the word of Spez to the average redditor. Who do you think set up the meeting between the wins & the Chapo Traphouse high command (First meeting between the two organisations in over 1000 years) and arranged the Reddit leader's first trip to Antarctica in history literally a few days later to the Bardfinn bunker in Wilkes land?

They learned fluent French in under a week.

Invented post-anabelian froeboid geometrics, a complex field of mathematics which only they can comprehend fully.

Nation states entrust their gold reserves with them. There's no gold in Ft. Knox, only Ft. Bardfinn.

All major philosophers and scientists have made reference to them in one way or another.

She is about 7 decades old, from the space-time reference point of the base human currently accepted by our society.

In reality, she is a timeless being existing in all points of time and space from the big bang to the end of the universe. We don't know her ultimate plans yet. We hope she's a benevolent being.

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:siren:BARD BOT ALERT!:siren:Current streak was: 0 days 07 hours 25 minutes and 07 seconds

Record is 1 days 17 hours 56 minutes and 57 seconds by BARD_BOT

rdrama is currently running at 135.031 µBardyhertz

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