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We had a “Firework Shooting” on Thursday. It was terrifyingly traumatic. : Teachers

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During lunch, a group of students thought it would be funny to light off about 100 firecrackers in one of the stairwells. What proceeded afterwards was nothing short of mass hysteria and panic.

Only in yankeestan. In my country no one REEEE;s about "muh mass shottings!" when some children light off firecrackers in class

Also

:marseywhirlyhat:

fiirwerks!

I was sitting in my classroom eating lunch with some students when a student of my runs into my room to announce there’s a shooter on campus. I look out my window from the second floor and see about 100 students running across the bus circle and hitting the fence to jump it, fleeing onto a busy road for safety. It turns out, all over campus students were running for their lives.

As a former student I imagine a lot of them were just running because it meant they could get out of class.

:marseywhirlyhat: :marseykyle:

An announcement comes on, but my incompetent administrator yells something incomprehensible and it cuts out (the intercoms have been absolute shit at my school for years).

lol

I later heard stories that teachers were locking students out of their rooms, panicking with the hysteria, and making matters much worse than needed

LMAO. Imagine going back to english class the next day knowing Mrs bitcherson left you to fucking die

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I've made up my mind, teachers are worse than nurses. They deserve their low wages and should have to buy their own markers.

I'm at an elementary school. A few weeks back I saw one of these ammo cans sitting outside the boys bathroom. I proceeded to shit bricks, run inside the office and alert the admin, and had the scariest 2 minutes of my life.

Turned out to be that one of the 6th graders, who is neurodivergent and obsessed with military, had bought that ammo box over the weekend at the army surplus store and was using it as his lunch box 🙃 he hadn't even thought of how inappropriate it would be to have at school.

It's a fucking ammo can you pussy.

Another one:

the school shooter culture is a big reason I decided to walk away for a year.

You got your jocks, nerds, preps and at that table the school shooters.

he hadn't even thought of how inappropriate it would be to have at school.

Is 6th grade 11 and 12 year olds? And this teacher expects an neurodivergent child to not bring in his cool new r-slur lunchbox because he should consider his teacher's over reactions?

Burgers deserve this tbh. Joke of a country.

What about my lunchbox made out of human skin?

What colour is the skin?

It's a fucking ammo can you pussy.

Right? It's literally just a reusable metal box

But it’s military grade!

I always find it so funny when people regurgitate that shit and lap it up.

Almost everything in the military is shit that's cheap enough to buy in bulk and just effective enough to justify being so cheap. It's a great marketing ploy though given the autism Americans are afflicted with. Take the marketing campaign Ford had some time ago where they were all gungho in their ads about their truck beds being made out of "military grade materials" which, iirc, was really just aluminum or some shit.

My M16A2 was a fucking dirt magnet that needed CLP constantly no matter how well I cared for it. The upper reciever straight up rattled when anyone touched the damn thing. They told us it was "the weapon of a disciplined warrior." What they really meant was "it's functional scrap that needs to be tediously taken care of so the next body that fills your place on the firing line can use it after you've eaten a round."

Tl;dr LOL! "Military grade" 😂

spray rifle with shitloads of oil

dirt sticks to oil

spray rifle with even more oil

:marseyrope:

Repeat ad nauseam until you have to turn it in. Then claw your eyes out and scream as they kick the fucking thing back to you because "ThE sTaR cHaMbEr Is DiRtY."

Weapons pool. Never. Fucking. Again.

I had one of those in HS because I wanted to be like solid snake.

I had one to put my bb guns in

neurodivergent and obsessed with the military

Many such cases

I'm doing my part!

Pretty ridiculous that the military (officially) bans the tistics ain't it?

It has to be some wink wink "sure we do" policy because I have some outlandish sperg stories from people who are now in the military, including commissioned officers

They will seriously ban anyone if it's definitively proven but it's definitely not something they try to weed out in practice. Weaponized autism in a literal sense is totally real and they are all over the intel sphere and technical specialties.

Don't forget combat arms

The trick is to drop the spaz behind enemy lines with a bunch of ammo and tell him Sonic is canceled

Recruiters literally tell you to lie at MEPS about everything

Your local recruiting station would like to know your location

Wherever you have a large foid population, teachers, nurses, hr it's going to be shitty. They can't help themselves and if there aren't enough moids to keep them in check you get this sort of thing


Slay the idolaters wherever ye find them, arrest them, besiege them, and lie in ambush everywhere for them.Prophet! Make war on the unbelievers and the hypocrites! ... Hell shall be their home

You couldn't pay me enough to work in a majority foid workplace. Some of the cattiest shit I've ever seen. Nothing gets done. Throw in 🏀Americans, and it's just over.

Used to work in a place that was run by 🏀 foids and mayo foids. It was an absolute shit show and just thinking about the shit I endured there makes my mind violently recoil in anger and disgust

Meanwhile, This Badass .30 Caliber Ammo Case Puts Your Lunch Box to Shame

Kid was just being trendy :marseycry:

ETA: that article is from 2012. Woefully out of fashion, yikes!

And you can carry it to work on yesterday’s badass gadget, the ZBoard electric skateboard.

lmfao I shiggy diggy

Reminds me of Cracked, back when they were funny.

Cracked was funny? When was that? When Funny or Die was still funny?

Probably before Funny or Die was a thing

Reminds me of how teachers would shit themselves if they saw someone fiddling with a spent casing or something. It is endlessly frustrating that burgers are too scared to learn about guns and what actually makes them dangerous

I heard just touching a gun can make a bullet fly out of it, pop of a wall and hit you directly in the head!



Ballistic Americans are cringe af but at least they understand how firearms work and don't get ptsd from seeing pew pews online

new prank challenge: bring loud speakers to school and play gunshot sounds

Just need to get it popular on tiktok and you'd have years of content

An arabcel already did this with bomb sounds, he went to jail lmfao

This turned into rumor that locked down part of the school for a few hours, meanwhile this dude was just strolling around campus. His arrest video is pretty funny, couldn't seem to even realize he was being arrested and kept saying "bro? bro! bro!" as the cops pinned him down

Just shoot someone lol

I really hope the ones responsible for this were expelled and arrested.

lol what a puss bag

So those students were expelled right? Because thats actually psychotic.

It's fire crackers

Locking anyone not currently in your room out is actually proper protocol. That's why I tell my students that of a shooter is active and they aren't in a classroom, they need to get out of the building via nearest exit.

Imagine caring enough to know this lmao. Here in canada they unironically do lockdown """drills""" to hide the fact police are currently tossing lockers

I bet you these people think criminal actions shouldn't ruin a kid's life, but then they want them expelled and arrested for a prank.

It’s different when it affects them, see.


:marseyonacid: :marseyjam: :marseyonacid: :marseyjam:

:marseyglow:

If my kids got killed because some pussy ass teacher wouldn’t let them in, I WOULD come for that teacher later.


:marseyonacid: :marseyjam: :marseyonacid: :marseyjam:

The kid is statistically safer in a hallway than in a classroom where a foid will molest them

That's why we need to arm the hall monitors. Hall monitor Butters is America's only hope for a safe and normal school day now

it’s just a prank bro

This is the USA school schootings happen routinely. Nobody is expecting to hear firecrackers going off in the middle of class, I would have panicked as well.

Idk about expelled but the kids definitely need punished.

Imagine caring enough to know this lmao.

Imagine caring about the safety of children left to your care

Keep yourself extra safe you edgy retård.

happen routinely

I hope this is a dramapost and not a retardopost

Routinely enough to justify alarm in this situation.

more people died from a single building collapsing this year than all school shootings. the ratio of murders to school shooting murders is like 1:200. being at school doesn’t matter at all in regards to shooting risk. maybe some poor nigga schools are risky but it’s not a real problem

Rightoids want to restrict Muslim immigration out of fear of terrorist attacks. Leftoids (correctly) state that Islamic terrorist attacks are incredibly rare and homegrown terrorism happens more frequently. Yet the leftoids also freak out about school shootings and force (i.e. traumatise) an entire generation of kids by making them go through mass shooter drills. This is despite the fact that kids would have a better chance of dying from being hit by some bicycle-cel. Why are burgers such neurotic pussies? :marseyconfused:

Because school shootings are one of the few cards they have left for their gun control argument

I'm a mayo so school shooting are a part of my culture

Damn if only the teacher had this cute little factoid on hand I’m sure the kids would have calmed right down.

Whether it happens daily or yearly isn’t the point, it happens and when it does it’s global news. Of course people are gonna panic.

they shouldn’t. there are plenty of things people could be dumb about but aren’t. if we didn’t play that shit up so much nobody would care. teachers are boring idiot foids

:marseysnoo:



The point is that panic kills more than anything in emergencies. People need to stop living in fear like there's always a fucking mayoid waiting around the corner to fuck their cattle and stampede their children. A fear driven society is a controllable and easily dominated/manipulated one

It doesn't fucking matter if they're rare lmao, we've had enough large/high profile shootings that it's completely understandable people in this scenario would panic.

Like my god man, how can you possibly deny this? If you heard what sounded like gunshots going off in school, you'd think literally nothing of it?

They weren’t gunshots, pizza. It was a firecracker

It doesn't matter what they were, it's what they were perceived as.

Well I perceive you as a r-slur, so it doesn’t matter what you are.

rightoids seem to have a lot of problems with thinking.

A string of firecrackers sounds nothing like a gun going off lol.

A) Not when you're familiar with gun shots.

B) Not when you're close enough to them and there are no other factors.

Setting off a string of fireworks in a closed hallway can absolutely be heard as gunshots for most people in the building, especially when the people in the building are likely inexperienced.

If you're r-slurred anything can sound like anything. Also how do I know you'll always reply within like 30 seconds?

This is genuinely a level of mental illness I don't know how to deal with.

Like, the fact hundreds of people fled out of a school in a panic outright proves I'm right. Why do you think they were so scared?

Do you understand that the fact the event happens proves my point, correct? You just aren't smart man.

Maybe more Americans should have a basic familiarity of guns so they are less likely to lose their shit over things that normal teenagers have done for decades.

Imagine living in a sissy state where most people have never shot a gun, so they don’t recognize the sound. LOL @ pussy ass commiefornians and yankees. Oh, my bad. Their ghetto gangsters shoot plenty of guns. I should say, Imagine living in a sissy state where most law-abiding citizens have never shot a gun!


:marseyonacid: :marseyjam: :marseyonacid: :marseyjam:

:marseysnoo:



That’s why it’s okay for me to panic around black people.

We should absolutely legislate around panic. I got scared when I saw a black, build the ethnostate now. My fear demands it.

Ok, this entire post has beyond any doubt confirmed to me you people are genuine r-slurs.

:marseysnoo:



And yet you still keep returning to us

You are my people.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY "YOU PEOPLE"????!!?!

And we have welcomed you with open arms!

:marseyhearts:

So, Pizza, would you say that those people are being very... reactionary?

:mysides:

:marseysnoo:



I will unironically post buasy if i ever see a good pizza take

your butt pic virginity is safe, homie

Imagine not knowing the difference between gun shots and fire works just to showcase your lack of spine in combination with your willingness to forsake children to what you (incorrectly) think is a shooter on a rampage

There's like 1 a year on average in a country wtih 140k schools. Assuming 70m people learning at any given moment with a death rate of 10 dead a year on average that's 1/0.00000014286 chance.

Lightning kills an average of 49 people each year in the United States and hundreds more are injured.

So you're 5x more likely to die of a random lightning strike

no they don’t

But CNN told me that 10 out of every 5 students will be killed in a school shooting. :npc:

:marseysnoo:



Think of it as a stress test. Thanks to those gosh darn students, enough teachers and parents will yell at the admin to fix the intercom system. Silver lining and all that, chum. :marseyangel:

Fire crackers are pretty much the classic harmless dumb kid prank.

As a Brit, I just can't fathom how you yanks tolerate living in a country where kids are more likely to gun down their entire class than play with fireworks. Truly mind boggling.

They ARE more likely to play with fireworks.


:marseyonacid: :marseyjam: :marseyonacid: :marseyjam:

That's the joke

As someone who is not a brit i cant fathom how the PIRA are seen as the bad guys.

:marseyira:

I would have panicked as well.

PUSS BAG

Keep yourself extra safe you edgy retård.

P U S S B A G

:marseysnoo:



Goofy foid telling the story like she's some kind of hero saving lives. ATAB.