What the actual FRICK is your signature? jesus christ

Makes sense. Reasonable response. It's about having a harem not my wife's boyfriend.

No pictures, but I have to brag.

Background: she's been a hotwife for about three months. She has one side piece she sees weekly, and a couple guys she chats with regularly, but hasn't met up with yet.

Last night she went out for dinner with some friends, and maybe some bar hoping. Well, it turns out that yes, there was indeed bar hopping, with all the Rum and Cokes. She ended up meeting up with a guy she chats with, since he was rolling through town after work. She went to his car and made out with him, along with some inappropriate touching. This was the first time meeting him, and she was with Co-workers, so she couldn't do anything else. It was a quick five minute encounter before she had to join back with her friends.

At the end of the night, as it turns out, it was just her and a guy from work left. They're good friends, with some light flirting in the past. They end up dancing and kissing. He offered her a ride home and she said yes and offered to suck his peepee in return, he obliged, like any smart man would. She sucked his peepee for a good amount of time, but unfortunately he never came, as he smoked too much weed and had a small case of whiskey peepee.

She came home, told me all about it, and of course I was so turned on that I had to make sure she finished off her night by finishing me off. I didn't last more than a minute (she's amazing at sucking peepee).

I'm so lucky to have a wife that will make out with men, suck their peepee, and then come home to suck my peepee. I love sloppy seconds!

Protip: real life is not your coomer fetish subs. Your parents do not want to hear about any of the weird s*x shit you do.

🤮

Redditors seem convinced that it's simple reality that women gets more reactions on straggot dating apps:

If men could just pause for a hot second and consider their luck on online dating Vs their gfs they'd think twice about suggesting poly and remember that women have a higher percentage of offers than they ever will, even if those women are average and he's better looking.

There's actually a well-known "poly" story somewhere on Reddit of a man who suggested opening his relationship to his "not even that good looking gf who is a little overweight" and he couldn't find anyone while his gf was finding everyone . He absolutely hated it! But everyone in the comments let him know what's good...

Found it: https://jezebel.com/dudes-demand-for-an-open-relationship-backfires-spectac-1578409074

Just imagine the seethe on Reddit if a woman had insisted that they should each earn, keep, and spend their own money -- and then the dude laps her in earnings. She complains online that he's buying fancy things for himself that she can't afford. I'd love to see someone run the same playbook of portraying her as arrogant for expecting she'd end up on equal footing.

Here's Jezebel on the dude getting lapped by his girl on the apps:

You'd think this would occasion some soul-searching and perhaps enlightenment. NOPE. Angry at the "unfair" turn this open relationship has taken (he really uses the term unfair! as though functional open relationships were about scorecards!), this very frustrated dude now wants advice on how to "close" the relationship again.

Not saying any of this is fair to anyone, just pointing out the double standard depending on which gender gets dealt the shitty hand by reality.

Highest testosterone /r/polyamory user

Redditors posting their Ls

>my wife posted a picture on FB of our kids, me, and her and her partner.

Imagine growing up and when you're like 5 yo suddenly some random dude comes in the picture. All right, whatever. Then you turn 12-13, the dude may still be there or maybe there is a different one. Maybe the relationship is closed again. You suddenly realize what happened: your father is a pathetic cute twink and your mom's a whore and all this is public info now. The glowies should probably just put any male children these 'people' have on watchlist now, just to be safe.

From his comment history:

Perhaps the dude just has a different shape, and hits spots yours doesn’t?

My wife has never orgasmed via penetration for me, but has with her other partners. Doesn’t make me less then, just different. Do I wish I could? For sure! But my thang doesn’t do that thang.

https://old.reddit.com/r/s*x/comments/yy0z6b/_/iwsugde/?context=1

Same here! My wife is Ethically Non-Monogamous. I do not date. I have no interest in it and I think it’s awesome when my wife does.

https://old.reddit.com/r/Bumble/comments/t5788m/_/hz57n7j/?context=1&sort=controversial

You literally cannot make this shit up. This dude’s wife is getting raw dogged by Jamal on the daily while she leeches off his income. The sheer lack of self-respect this man has for himself is astounding

Snapshots:

• undelete.pullpush.io

• archive.org

• ghostarchive.org

• archive.ph (click to archive)

When this soyboy came out to his dad he probably supported his son because he thought his son was banging multiple women instead of letting his girl monkey branch.

Now the dad finds out the truth and is disappointed.

Why dont these guys ever bang multiple women when they claim to be poly?

What makes this guy your dad? That he donated the sperm? Did he endear himself to you as a father figure? Or is he the guy who jizzed in your mom? Just because you birthed me, and had a hand in raising me, doesn't make you my parent. I decide who my family is, no on else. You want me to call you dad and act like you're my dad? FRICKING ACT LIKE IT YOU LITTLE B-WORD. :)

The weakest of wrists wrote this comment