Father's Last Words

(Verse 1)

C F Dm

Sit down my sons, I’ve something to say

G C

What my father told me on his dying day

C F Dm

And now to my own sons, I pass this along

   G                                 C    F C G

For my time is at hand, and soon I’ll be gone

C F Dm

I’ve tried to teach you what’s right and what’s wrong

G C

Be upright, be honest, be brave and be strong

C F Dm

Be kind and be true to the good friends you’ve made

      G                         C      C7

And never turn down a chance to get laid!

CHORUS 1:

   F

Do the Young ones, the old ones,

C

The hot ones, the cold ones

G                    C

The scags, the hags, the free and the paid

   F

Do the rich ones the poor ones

C            Am

The drunk on the floor ones

       Dm                     G

If they’re ugly son pull down the shade

      F           G             C

And never turn down a chance to get laid!

Interlude

F F C Am Dm G C C G F C G

(Verse 2)

C F Dm

Oh boys now I lay here my body all broke

G C

I pray you’ll be heedin’ these last words I spoke

C F Dm

As I meet my maker I clearly now see

G                                        C   C7

Why all of your mothers are so pissed off at me

CHORUS 2:

       F

So, do the big ones, the small ones

C

The short ones, the tall ones

G                          C

The street walking hooker, the cooker of pain

   F

Do the flat chested screamer

    C            Am

The big breasted big beamers

  Dm                       G

Never mind if she’s fertile or spayed

      F           G             C      C7

And never turn down a chance to get laid!

CHORUS 3:

   F

Do the sleazy, the easy

C

The smelly, the greasy

G                       C

The smutty, the slutty, the chubby ones too

   F

Do the classic two bagger

C F Dm

Sit down my sons, I’ve something to say

G C

What my father told me on his dying day

C F Dm

And now to my own sons, I pass this along

   G                                 C    F C G

For my time is at hand, and soon I’ll be gone

C F Dm

I’ve tried to teach you what’s right and what’s wrong

G C

Be upright, be honest, be brave and be strong

C F Dm

Be kind and be true to the good friends you’ve made

      G                         C      C7

And never turn down a chance to get laid!

CHORUS 1:

   F

Do the Young ones, the old ones,

C

The hot ones, the cold ones

G                    C

The scags, the hags, the free and the paid

   F

Do the rich ones the poor ones

C            Am

The drunk on the floor ones

       Dm                     G

If they’re ugly son pull down the shade

      F           G             C

And never turn down a chance to get laid!

Interlude

F F C Am Dm G C C G F C G

(Verse 2)

C F Dm

Oh boys now I lay here my body all broke

G C

I pray you’ll be heedin’ these last words I spoke

C F Dm

As I meet my maker I clearly now see

G                                        C   C7

Why all of your mothers are so pissed off at me

CHORUS 2:

       F

So, do the big ones, the small ones

C

The short ones, the tall ones

G                          C

The street walking hooker, the cooker of pain

   F

Do the flat chested screamer

    C            Am

The big breasted big beamers

  Dm                       G

Never mind if she’s fertile or spayed

      F           G             C      C7

And never turn down a chance to get laid!

CHORUS 3:

   F

Do the sleazy, the easy

C

The smelly, the greasy

G                       C

The smutty, the slutty, the chubby ones too

   F

Do the classic two bagger

    C           Am

The two legged tail wager

Dm                           G       G!

And boys you’ll know when you’re through

        F!            G!                       C!

When you’ve found one you love who loves who loves you

          C7!

But until you do

CHORUS 4:

   F

Do the black ones the white ones

C

The loose ones the tight ones

G                         C

The freaks do the geeks, the uniques and all the antiques

   F                        C          Am

Do the nasty and the mean, the obese the obscene

      Dm          G

But never turn down a chance

   C        Am

Always go for romance

  Dm          G

Never turn down a chance

   C          Am

Always go for the pants

      F           G             C    

And never turn down a chance to get laid!

(Outro)

F F C Am Dm G C GC

    C           Am

The two legged tail wager

Dm                           G       G!

And boys you’ll know when you’re through

        F!            G!                       C!

When you’ve found one you love who loves who loves you

          C7!

But until you do

CHORUS 4:

   F

Do the black ones the white ones

C

The loose ones the tight ones

G                         C

The freaks do the geeks, the uniques and all the antiques

   F                        C          Am

Do the nasty and the mean, the obese the obscene

      Dm          G

But never turn down a chance

   C        Am

Always go for romance

  Dm          G

Never turn down a chance

   C          Am

Always go for the pants

      F           G             C    

And never turn down a chance to get laid!

(Outro)

F F C Am Dm G C GC