Typing the entirety this on my phone because I'm bored as heck waiting on the train so frick y'all.
To start this story off, let me introduce you to the protagonist of this tale: Hugo the Pink Cat, a Twitter user for 14 years with a mind-boggling 6 figure tweet count. The vast majority of his incredibly frequent post activity is retweeting and seething all day about leftoid outrage bait such as what dastardly tricks the GOP have been up to lately, as well as riding the coat-tails of similar lolcows like MattNerdSkull.
For those interested in the math, this man has posted an average of 25 tweets every single day for the last decade and a half of his life. Would be a real shame if his life's work were to be put in jeopardy if say, someone told Daddy Elon about anything naughty he's said, right?
As luck would have it, Hugo is all too eager to get fedposty when it comes to the rightoid question. Just from a quick browse, I found a solid candidate for reportmaxxing - and since our friend Hugo doesn't believe in debate and prefers the use of violence and force, it seems only fair to meet him at his own level and force him off Twitter (for the good of his own mental health of course)
Three days later, and bam.
Not be dissuaded, Hugo immediately hops onto his alt account to tell everyone that he's now in Twitter jail for 7 whole days for his glowposting. Interestingly though, he blames some prior spat he had with zoomer MrBeast fans and claims he was an innocent kitty who didn't do nothing and that the reported Tweets were a decade old.
I jump into the replies to swiftly correct the record, and he instantly locks down the thread in response before taking his account private after the culprit stepped forward with receipts. Possibly out of fear of a permanent ban via further reportmaxxing now that he knows he's being targeted.
It turns out Elon hasn't finished dunking on our furry friend yet though, as it turns out a recent glitch means that everyone can still see his tweets anyways!
Out of options for protecting his precious virtual status, he begs and pleads with the vile trolls as a last resort to just block him and leave his account be, playing victim and calling them unhinged psychos for daring to take away his beloved Twitter clout (clearly a far worse faux-pas than his own calling for assassinations of politicians belonging to the wrong party). Given this stark difference from his edgy tough-guy posting just a few hours prior, I get the impression that if this dude can't bear the thought of his Twitter being jannied, then he sure as heck isn't equipped to deal with the real-world risks and repercussions that would come with the violent fantasies he likes to spout off about lol.
In the meantime though, I found a couple other naughty tweets of his to report, so here's hoping the next hit lands him a permanent y'alling and he's finally forced to go outside for the first time in nearly 15 years.
On a separate note, anyone know how to report for ban evasion on Twitter?
UPDATE
Another confirmed hit! Still no permanent suspension, but here's hoping this locks him out his account for longer.
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You target the most random butt people
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This guy's awful takes kept randomly popping up on my timeline and I decided I had enough
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You saw a problem, and now you're solving it.
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Just like Hi-
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senberg?
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Yes
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Check out the hook while my DJ revolves it
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I looked once at this guy and agree, he needs help. Iβll assist in your report max and maybe Hugo can get outraged over something that matters like trying to move into his own place or having to pick up a job.
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Example?
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The usual "trans genocide is around the corner, just two more weeks" and "furry hate is queerphobia" garbage that Twitter furries spew except his tweeting is non-stop so they constantly get forced into my main feed since I follow a bunch of tangential furry lolcows. You can take a quick glance at how much he's posted on his alt account already as an example.
https://x.com/ThatPinkCat1
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https://x.com/ThatPinkCat1/status/1636023174771929092?s=20
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