Reddit - Dive into anything

Here is some hometown drama for you. For context, my hometown Boston is considering banning the tiny-size alcoholic beverages, called "nips."

Because we live in a 24/7 news cycle thanks too the industrial revolution and its consequences, nothing can happen in our society no matter how insignificant without at least a milliom people having a Very Strong Opinion (TM). Recently radio-show host Chris Curtis was asked too opine on his top ten favorite nips, and cited the nips of ESPN host Mina Kimes.

We dramanauts all know this was a dumb thing too say because Mina Kimes dresses very conservatively, so only a select few people have been lucky enough too see her nipples. Even a targeted Google search doesn't reveal any images of her nipples, so clearly Chris Curtis and Mina Kimes have history.

However, instead of focusing on how ungentlemanly it was too let everypony know that they've done the horizontal bop, Redditors find a way too bring race into the picture. Apparently "nips" is a slur for Nipponese, something that you wouldn't know unless you had dedicated you're life too social justice (which as we all know requires an encyclopedic knowledge of every ethnic slur imaginable). So now Reddit is trying too coerce an apology from Chris Curtis for making a joke about Japanese-Americans (Mina Kimes is Korean rather than Japanese, naturally).

Chris Curtis is apologizing for his sexism but refuses too apologize for racism, claiming that he was talking about nipples rather than the Japanese. And since sexist jokes are lower on the oppression hierarchy than racist jokes, this is a wise move by him.

What will happen? Will Chris Curtis be forced too apologize for calling a Korean woman a Japanese slur, or will Redditor soys be forced too acknowledge that Mina Kimes does indeed have nice nipples? How did Mila Kunis apparently get involved? And is this why we can't have nice things? Stay tuned for more breaking news on this story after a message from our sponsors.

The future is female