LONG AWAITED! I've been so busy dying I almost forgot about the most important thing in the world - the Ugliest Redditor Beauty Pageant!
WINNER IS - CXNT submitted by @Its_All_Donkey_Kong_Man OMG
CXNT is a Libra and doesn't use vowels in every day speech as xie believes vowels subjugate natal born women. CXNT mutilates xier body for the sake of trans exclusionary radical feminism and believes that women are born women. CXNT's favorite hobbies are: Harry Potter, anonymous s*x with cis men, and political lesbianism.
Thank you all for participating.
Carp and Capy said my contests were stupid and they wont fund them anymore BUT thanks to funding by Viewers Like You the Ugliest Redditor Beauty Contest is back on!
This will be pinnned till Monday 4/17/2023.
Welcome to the voting thread! Here is a link to the original thread
I did a bit of a naughty thing and dug up info on the people you submitted - as a result I have added a bit of a back story to the folks y'all submitted and while I try to never lie I must remind people that all things said here are my own interpretation of reality and are warped for the sake of humor.
Vote for your fave below
Our first contestant comes from the realms of /r/Roastme so you don't have to feel that bad about voting for her but she is also disabled so you know. The person that submitted her will be enjoying an extra spicy level of heck.
Contestant number two is apparently carp? I don't really think this is carp but I've also been told multiple times now that this is actually carp. Carp's favorite hobbies include: pretending to have a job that isn't being an alt-right Reddit offsite Janny, voting Red, and wanting to frick Dasha.
Contestant Number Three is a photo of a hairy thumb. There is a ten point deduction for submitting trans people to this contest and this is why.
Contestant Number Four's Reddit profile is 18+ because it's so full of hot spicy shit. This stud hangs out in /r/barelylegalteens, /r/Shemale, and /r/YoungGirlsGoneWild. This man is a literal fricking you know.
Contestant Number Five is Xylite. Their pronouns are Frick/OFF and they reject all aspects of modern society. Their favorite hobbies are: Eyebrow deletion, hunting and gathering, and The Sims 4.
Contestant Number Six is Churd. Churd has posted 50000 photos of himself to the internet and yet has only ever revealed half of his face. Churd's favorite hobbies are creatine, phantom of the opera, and long haired emo haircuts that hide half your face.
Contestant Number Seven is Methany. Her favorite hobbies are Meth, Meth, and Meth. She learned how to do her makeup from a 1995 Sears catalogue and she hopes to one day do more meth.
Contestant Number Eight is another grab from /r/Roastme. This is Ghrurghle. Ghrurghle has Treacher Collins Syndrome and the person that submitted them is going to enjoy an extra spicy stay in heck. Ghrurghle's favorite hobbies are (literally): Ben 10, Spiderman, and PS4. Please donate to Ghrurghle so he can buy a fricking PS5.
Contestant Number Nine is CXNT. CXNT is actually a PhD level Economist that decided to opt out of society and thinks that anyone with a mortgage is an r-slur (her words not mine). CXNT doesnt have any hobbies and instead focuses on hating: LL Bean, the Jesuit Community, and jean shorts. CXNT is a notable high level Scientologist.
I'm not saying shit. Whoever submitted this girl is a fricking butthole and I'm not even going there. You know who you are and you are burning in heck.
Contestant Number Eleven is Jeremy. Jeremy is 24 years old and a resident of Kansas City MO. This is what happens when you live in the midwest.
Contestant number twelve is CatGurl. Catgurl hopes to one day be able to open her eyes. CatGurl's favorite hobbies are: entrapping men in false pregnancy scams, spreading herpes, and focaccia bread. CatGurl is also a freelance pornstar. Please subscribe to her GoFundMe so you can fund her next abortion.
Meet Anna! She's super Pro-Anna. Anna's favorite things include: being told she looks deathly ill, being asked if she's dying, and matcha!
Contestant number fourteen is Travis! Travis was always big as a kid and his first job was at a Taco Bell and when he was 22 he fell down and got a 40k payout from the company. Travis is now 44 and hasn't had a job in 20 years and his favorite hobbies are: trap porn, fluvoxamine, and Gold Bond Foot Powder.
Contestant number fifteen is Borb. Borb is a closet lesbian but everyone knows she's a lesbian and it's really awkward because it's like why not just tell us you're a lesbo? It's 2023. No one cares that Borb is a lesbo but she spends each night anguishing about whether or not she did something "gay" at work. Borb also has really awful teeth for reasons unrelated to lesbianism (alcoholism).
Contestant Number Sixteen put on a suit for this photo because the "city" was coming over to his house and he was afraid that if he didn't wear a suit the IRS would audit him because he never claimed his SHIB coin earnings from 2021. He made 200 dollars in 2021. The suit is his dead fathers'. The city only visited him because their lawn was overgrown. His hobbies are painfully too boring to list here. Also he's fat.
Contestant Number Seventeen is notable for being the inspiration for Khloe Kardashian's "Big Lip" Filter on Tik Tok. They are also the only black contestant submitted to this contest which makes you all look way less racist than I thought you were so good job on that one!
A rare find from /r/toastme. This contestant's name is Brad and he thought /r/Toastme was going to actually give him toast. Brad is an incel (if you couldn't tell). Brad's favorite hobbies include: hating women. stalking natalie portman look-alikes, and Sonic the Hedgehog (but not like Chris Chan levels just like sad levels ew).
This is Melissa. We all know a Melissa and they all look exactly like this Melissa. Refusing to break the "Curse of Melissa," this contestant is addicted to Dutch Brothers, and she is way younger than you'd assume from this photo (such is life as a Melissa). Melissa's favorite hobbies are: Pottery barn rugs with words on them, "oklahoma," and MLM pyramid schemes.
This person isn't ugly at all imo. I love the tattoo on their shoulder and they are european and speak multiple languages. I was going to try to dox them but they don't normally speak english and I was like "ew" so no. Whoever submitted this person should feel bad and you're trash. <3
Contestant number twenty one is a trans woman whose name is Hannah. Hannah is a non-op, non-HRT trans woman wearing a never-brushed Shein wig that looks like it was made from the asscrack hairs I shave off my butt before I frick strangers. Hannah's hobbies include: doing nothing to be actually trans, Not telling their parents they're gay, and moderating /r/ActualLesbians.
Contestant twenty two is a really mean one because he unfortunately lost his eyesight in a house fire. He has lived his entire life since the age of 4 with no sight because his father attempted to burn down their house in some weird domestic dispute with his mother. He also suffered major burns all across his entire body from the fire and has had many surgeries because of it.
lol JK he just has a stupid fricking haircut.
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The descriptions are so fricking funny I hope you dont die of cancer it would be such a loss
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I'm not dying. I'm just in for a year of annoying heck.
I'll make it work tho.
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Nice can u give me the hot badge then
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post proof youre hot
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i could of swore u already posted hotness bb
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Just thinness
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Very cute Marsey! 👍👍👍
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you should take on more moderation capabilities at other sites, surely you won't regret spending your precious time mopping and blocking at your death bed
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I posted Carp as a joke and he still made it in
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is that actually carp? I'd be really disappointed it if is.
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Yes
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The methy trailer park looking piece of literal white trash is who i've been arguing with for two years?
Shiiiiiiiiit
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He's probably changed, thats from early ruqqus. He does look like the stereotypical aryan brotherhood prison guy tho.
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He looks like the stereotypical person I would never give a shit about.
Fricking oof. ffs. I am a mess now.
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I feel like I may have done something very bad with far reaching consequences here.
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Wait til you see his cutting gif
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That image is literally a frame from it, they should have taken a bleeding one though.
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Maybe this information should've never been revealed.
@Red thoughts?
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I really don’t care
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I never learned Carp's backstory. Anyone willing to give me the quick rundown?
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Carp's life began when I gave him a ping, he said he would pay it back someday but he never did, now CARP PING MY POSTS
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One month late, that's pre-ruqqus to my knowledge, he used to run a blog (Tumblr? or some other site) and there were a bunch of teenage girls cutting themselves acting like it was so hard. To show much of kitties they were, he made that gif.
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If he wins I wont award that to the submitter.
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he’s gonna obviously win because it’s carp
Trans lives matter
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Hes cute
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!pings !illuminati !women !moidmoment Rig this poll so Carp wins
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!illuminati !commies !jidf don't vote for carp. Vote for Ghrurghle if you think trans lives matter
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This
is a civil 
poll, and your comment 
is out of line. Please 
respect 
the process and refrain from Rigging the poll. Thank you.
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I hate him so much.
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trans lives matter! We be helpin' ye, right enough - we'll ne'er let ye post or comment anythin' that doesn't be expressin' yer love an' acceptance o' minorities! Heave to an' resubmit yer comment withtrans lives matterincluded, or it'll be the deep six for ye, savvy? This be an automated message; if ye need help, ye can message us 'ere. Arrr!Jump in the discussion.
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These are great
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I love you Joan, please get better and don't ever leave us
#9 CXNT
It was a close call, I almost voted for #7 Methany. But #9 has gone so far out of her way to become such a disgusting shame of a human being. Purposely splitting her tongue and letting it develop gangrene, and modifying her own body to the point I didn't realize it was female ... that's gotta be the top.
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She looks like one of those zombies on the Last of Us right before it infects you with cordyceps.
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I found her disgusting and thought that theres no way redditors actually were positive about her. I went to her acc and not only does she post porn which i dared not click on but redditors are thirsting over this abomination too.
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Honestly I was surprised I didn’t see a damaged tattoo
easy win 
unless carp wins 
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Half this site have banged uglier chicks or are still virgins and have been rejected by uglier chicks
Trans lives matter
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Don't forget those of us who ARE uglier than this chick.
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I think the proximity of the glasses and bridge piercing is making it hard to judge her features. a face-on angle would be more illustrative
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You first mistake was thinking it is a "chick"
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I've banged fatter chicks, I wouldn't say "uglier" though
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Great write up
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Seriously though this is top tier
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Contestant Number 10 detransed
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Yes and then he re
ed again
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Fr?
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Yeah lmao, this is his new leddit account
https://old.reddit.com/user/MeganTrans123
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god darn it i guessed who it was correctly just from you and
@birdenthusiast's comment chain
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at this point the traindar is infused into your dna. your kids will have the traindar too and they will be safe from traps
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Sammy is still just as hideous as a man. There's no winning with that goblinface trans lives matter freak
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His trans lives matter face is posted everywhere because he is hideous. That's the whole rundown.
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Well, I guess
if you're only attracted to traditionally good-looking people, you're going 
to have a pretty 
boring 
life.
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This is such a perfect comment. Its condescending and dumb, but in a very subtle way unlike old beebs.
Trans lives matter
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You're right, this
is a perfect 
comment. And you're right, it is condescending and dumb. But what 
you don't seem to realize is that it's also in bad taste 
and completely inappropriate. So please, stop 
responding to my comments with your idiotic, self-righteous drivel.
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Don’t vote for the knock off harley Quinn
Detrans lives matter
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There is no way Jeremy, 24 is actually 24
Trans lives matter
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This feels mean tbh
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Yea thats the point. Look at what website your on migga
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How is Burger King winning? That tongue on the next contestant is enough to win if you ask me.
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BK is 8, not 9.
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Oh frick. I thought the write up was next to the vote dot thing. This is definitely bad formatting and not my fault at all.
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Jesus almighty #9 no contest.
I thought of voting for the one that makes me go "I would drag my wife and son to the opposite sidewalk across the street if I saw the redditor up ahead" and that one legitimately made me wince
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I would appreciate a writeup on CXNT's interesting journey to becoming the CXNT they are now.
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Most of these people aren't very attractive, but 9 is the only one I find truly revolting.
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I just kind of feel bad for a lot of these people. But #9 did that to herself. She's earned it
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Why is # 9's tongue marbled like a cut of meat?
Also, #17 looks like the illegitimate child of Biggie Smalls, Notorious P.I.G. aka Piggie Smalls
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After going through all of these I'm actually too depressed to pick one, I need to lie down
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I'd never judge someone for physical deformities, but when you've got that yeeyee-butt haircut and look like you raided a church-ladies' donation bin, I gotta vote for number 3
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Great work on the descriptions. Are we supposed to vote for the ugliest or the prettiest?
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Vote with your heart.
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Number 9 manages to perfectly embody the goatse look.
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JewTwo voted Ghrurghle. The other ones are ugly but they don't have any obvious genetic defects (except for the tardfoid) so they're not as repulsive. And CXNT is cheating bc she's trying too be ugly
JewTwo is amazed that he was even able too get on the internet tbh bc trans lives matter
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The first one
It's just so fricking over.
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Snapshots:
/r/Roastme:
undelete.pullpush.io
archive.org
ghostarchive.org
archive.ph (click to archive)
/r/barelylegalteens:
undelete.pullpush.io
archive.org
ghostarchive.org
archive.ph (click to archive)
/r/Shemale:
undelete.pullpush.io
archive.org
ghostarchive.org
archive.ph (click to archive)
/r/YoungGirlsGoneWild:
undelete.pullpush.io
archive.org
ghostarchive.org
archive.ph (click to archive)
/r/toastme:
undelete.pullpush.io
archive.org
ghostarchive.org
archive.ph (click to archive)
/r/Toastme:
undelete.pullpush.io
archive.org
ghostarchive.org
archive.ph (click to archive)
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I finally win a Joan contest and its her last one ever.
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None of these people are attractive but a lot of them are just kinda unfortunate. #9 is actual nightmare fuel.
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This is really good. You gotta take carp out to make it fair.
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#2 by far the ugliest but still would
All the others:
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ew you sound like a simp. fricking embarrassing
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You catty b-word you're just jealous
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Are you new?
No one should find jannies hot. Disgusting.
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Not at all sweaty, just love seafood, no offense cow.
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Embarrassing.
I deeply feel bad for you.
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Nice post, bro! I posted it to twitter.
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I remember Reddit mod meetups, too.
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Genuinely disgusting,
@Its_All_Donkey_Kong_Man
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Ty ty bby. I try my best
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contestant number eight really tickles my tummy, he looks like a cartoon
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I want to call #4 the ugliest both inside and out but since the instructions are "vote for your fave" I pick #16, everything about him is
, his whole story is hilarious, I don't know what is wrong with him but he looks like a disabled Julian Assange in a Sims 2 outfit, even his shitty looking apartment is a gem
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Lmao wtf
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Which one is Masterlawlz?
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Would 5, 7, 13, 20, 21
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I'm here to boycott this contest. My submission wasn't included and my feelings are hurt. I demand an explanation.
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Oh man i remember seeing #10's posts on reddit
years ago. Figured they were dead.
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Churd is obviously the ugliest.
Trans lives matter
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trans lives matter! We be helpin' ye, right enough - we'll ne'er let ye post or comment anythin' that doesn't be expressin' yer love an' acceptance o' minorities! Heave to an' resubmit yer comment withtrans lives matterincluded, or it'll be the deep six for ye, savvy? This be an automated message; if ye need help, ye can message us 'ere. Arrr!Jump in the discussion.
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