EFFORTPOST Ugliest Redditor Beauty Pageant WINNER THREAD

LONG AWAITED! I've been so busy dying I almost forgot about the most important thing in the world - the Ugliest Redditor Beauty Pageant!

WINNER IS - CXNT submitted by @Its_All_Donkey_Kong_Man OMG

CXNT is a Libra and doesn't use vowels in every day speech as xie believes vowels subjugate natal born women. CXNT mutilates xier body for the sake of trans exclusionary radical feminism and believes that women are born women. CXNT's favorite hobbies are: Harry Potter, anonymous s*x with cis men, and political lesbianism.

Thank you all for participating.

Carp and Capy said my contests were stupid and they wont fund them anymore BUT thanks to funding by Viewers Like You the Ugliest Redditor Beauty Contest is back on!

This will be pinnned till Monday 4/17/2023.

Welcome to the voting thread! Here is a link to the original thread

I did a bit of a naughty thing and dug up info on the people you submitted - as a result I have added a bit of a back story to the folks y'all submitted and while I try to never lie I must remind people that all things said here are my own interpretation of reality and are warped for the sake of humor.

Vote for your fave below

Our first contestant comes from the realms of /r/Roastme so you don't have to feel that bad about voting for her but she is also disabled so you know. The person that submitted her will be enjoying an extra spicy level of heck.

Contestant number two is apparently carp? I don't really think this is carp but I've also been told multiple times now that this is actually carp. Carp's favorite hobbies include: pretending to have a job that isn't being an alt-right Reddit offsite Janny, voting Red, and wanting to frick Dasha.

Contestant Number Three is a photo of a hairy thumb. There is a ten point deduction for submitting trans people to this contest and this is why.

Contestant Number Four's Reddit profile is 18+ because it's so full of hot spicy shit. This stud hangs out in /r/barelylegalteens, /r/Shemale, and /r/YoungGirlsGoneWild. This man is a literal fricking you know.

Contestant Number Five is Xylite. Their pronouns are Frick/OFF and they reject all aspects of modern society. Their favorite hobbies are: Eyebrow deletion, hunting and gathering, and The Sims 4.

Contestant Number Six is Churd. Churd has posted 50000 photos of himself to the internet and yet has only ever revealed half of his face. Churd's favorite hobbies are creatine, phantom of the opera, and long haired emo haircuts that hide half your face.

Contestant Number Seven is Methany. Her favorite hobbies are Meth, Meth, and Meth. She learned how to do her makeup from a 1995 Sears catalogue and she hopes to one day do more meth.

Contestant Number Eight is another grab from /r/Roastme. This is Ghrurghle. Ghrurghle has Treacher Collins Syndrome and the person that submitted them is going to enjoy an extra spicy stay in heck. Ghrurghle's favorite hobbies are (literally): Ben 10, Spiderman, and PS4. Please donate to Ghrurghle so he can buy a fricking PS5.

Contestant Number Nine is CXNT. CXNT is actually a PhD level Economist that decided to opt out of society and thinks that anyone with a mortgage is an r-slur (her words not mine). CXNT doesnt have any hobbies and instead focuses on hating: LL Bean, the Jesuit Community, and jean shorts. CXNT is a notable high level Scientologist.

I'm not saying shit. Whoever submitted this girl is a fricking butthole and I'm not even going there. You know who you are and you are burning in heck.

Contestant Number Eleven is Jeremy. Jeremy is 24 years old and a resident of Kansas City MO. This is what happens when you live in the midwest.

Contestant number twelve is CatGurl. Catgurl hopes to one day be able to open her eyes. CatGurl's favorite hobbies are: entrapping men in false pregnancy scams, spreading herpes, and focaccia bread. CatGurl is also a freelance pornstar. Please subscribe to her GoFundMe so you can fund her next abortion.

Meet Anna! She's super Pro-Anna. Anna's favorite things include: being told she looks deathly ill, being asked if she's dying, and matcha!

Contestant number fourteen is Travis! Travis was always big as a kid and his first job was at a Taco Bell and when he was 22 he fell down and got a 40k payout from the company. Travis is now 44 and hasn't had a job in 20 years and his favorite hobbies are: trap porn, fluvoxamine, and Gold Bond Foot Powder.

Contestant number fifteen is Borb. Borb is a closet lesbian but everyone knows she's a lesbian and it's really awkward because it's like why not just tell us you're a lesbo? It's 2023. No one cares that Borb is a lesbo but she spends each night anguishing about whether or not she did something "gay" at work. Borb also has really awful teeth for reasons unrelated to lesbianism (alcoholism).

Contestant Number Sixteen put on a suit for this photo because the "city" was coming over to his house and he was afraid that if he didn't wear a suit the IRS would audit him because he never claimed his SHIB coin earnings from 2021. He made 200 dollars in 2021. The suit is his dead fathers'. The city only visited him because their lawn was overgrown. His hobbies are painfully too boring to list here. Also he's fat.

Contestant Number Seventeen is notable for being the inspiration for Khloe Kardashian's "Big Lip" Filter on Tik Tok. They are also the only black contestant submitted to this contest which makes you all look way less racist than I thought you were so good job on that one!

A rare find from /r/toastme. This contestant's name is Brad and he thought /r/Toastme was going to actually give him toast. Brad is an incel (if you couldn't tell). Brad's favorite hobbies include: hating women. stalking natalie portman look-alikes, and Sonic the Hedgehog (but not like Chris Chan levels just like sad levels ew).

This is Melissa. We all know a Melissa and they all look exactly like this Melissa. Refusing to break the "Curse of Melissa," this contestant is addicted to Dutch Brothers, and she is way younger than you'd assume from this photo (such is life as a Melissa). Melissa's favorite hobbies are: Pottery barn rugs with words on them, "oklahoma," and MLM pyramid schemes.

This person isn't ugly at all imo. I love the tattoo on their shoulder and they are european and speak multiple languages. I was going to try to dox them but they don't normally speak english and I was like "ew" so no. Whoever submitted this person should feel bad and you're trash. <3

Contestant number twenty one is a trans woman whose name is Hannah. Hannah is a non-op, non-HRT trans woman wearing a never-brushed Shein wig that looks like it was made from the asscrack hairs I shave off my butt before I frick strangers. Hannah's hobbies include: doing nothing to be actually trans, Not telling their parents they're gay, and moderating /r/ActualLesbians.

Contestant twenty two is a really mean one because he unfortunately lost his eyesight in a house fire. He has lived his entire life since the age of 4 with no sight because his father attempted to burn down their house in some weird domestic dispute with his mother. He also suffered major burns all across his entire body from the fire and has had many surgeries because of it.

lol JK he just has a stupid fricking haircut.

vote for your fave