My partner was cheated on and now I possibly have a STI - /r/polyamory

Hello everyone, I'm need some advice from other polyamorous people.

The best psychologists around!

I'll try to keep this vague in case my partner follows this sub.

>My (f29) partner (m30) was cheated by his now ex-girlfriend. She was honest about the encounter and called about a week after the break-up to tell him that she has an STI.

He got tested and said that he was clean, but I am still waiting for my results.

The STI is treatable fortunately,

but I am still upset that this is happening because my partner does not practice safe s*x

because he "can't" use condoms. He also has had multiple partners besides me and the ex within the last few months none of which he used protection with.

However I am required by him to use protection whenever I have s*x with anyone who is not him (I have one other partner besides him).

I know it's a double standard and his excuse for not using condoms is dumb, and not only is he putting me at risk but also my other partner. I've tried to speak to him before about using condoms especially when he was seeing multiple people at the same time but it did not go well.

I haven't spoken to him about how I feel about the condom issue since, and I know I have to now that this is happening. As of right now I have no interest in having s*x with him at all especially unprotected, and while he is still having unprotected s*x with other people.

To be honest I am really anxious about having this conversation because I know it will lead to an argument, and he can be explosive.

I don't really know how to go about starting the conversation or what to say. I know it's not his fault that she cheated on him, and he may feel like I'm punishing him for her actions, but i can't go through this again. Next time it could be something worse. Idk what to do and I've just been avoiding him in the meantime. Any help or advice will be greatly appreciated.

/u/BetterFightBandits26:

How did she cheat on him? Y’all are poly. Are you saying “cheated on” instead of “lied to”?

/u/brunch_with_henri

Please do not use the word clean to refer the absence of an STI. Its immature and gross.

https://old.reddit.com/r/polyamory/comments/143piie/my_partner_was_cheated_on_and_now_i_possibly_have/jnb81r3/?sort=controversial

/u/poly-unit8

Not using condoms??.. red flag. Says he "can't" use condoms???..red flag. Says that you have to use them, but refuses to use them???... red flag.

Gets explosive with you when you voice your concerns????? HUGE RED FLAG!!!

https://old.reddit.com/r/polyamory/comments/143piie/my_partner_was_cheated_on_and_now_i_possibly_have/jnbfv0u/?sort=controversial

/u/SassCupcakes

Gentle reminder that using the word “clean” in regards to STI status stigmatizes STIs and leads to fewer people getting tested!

https://old.reddit.com/r/polyamory/comments/143piie/my_partner_was_cheated_on_and_now_i_possibly_have/jnbb3zs/?sort=controversial

/u/mistressmaddiee

I (F) am allergic to traditional latex condoms and sometimes even the non latex ones give me a reaction.

https://old.reddit.com/r/polyamory/comments/143piie/my_partner_was_cheated_on_and_now_i_possibly_have/jnbgo83/?sort=controversial