Manchild gets angry and pulls buttplug out of his butt during s*x and throws it out of the room then proceeds to post about getting shit across the carpet on Reddit. Many users are dumbfounded

I'm sick in bed, so here's a another post from me this time about my least favorite subreddit: /r/TIFU. Here is the body text of the OP:

No throwaway, because I'm a grown butt man and don't give a shit what others think of me.

Happened roughly an hour ago.

Today, we (fiancé and I) cleaned the house and I had to vacuum and mob the corridor and the living room.

So I did that - to the fiancés satisfaction.

The award was sexy time.

My fiancé is cutie and cares, so she bought some anal butt plug thingy a while ago.

Now,

EVERY TIME I USE THIS PIECE OF SHIT (LOL PUN) AND GET "EXITED" I WIGGLES ITSELF OUT OF THE DARK.

EVERY.

FRICKING.

TIME.

FRICKING.

And by doing so, I have to hold it in with my hand or try with my heel (depends on position), which then makes the gf laugh, which then makes me laugh, which then makes any orgasm laugh.

Today, I finally had enough and rage quit the s*x just to throw the darn thing out of the bedroom into our corridor. Got to love the impulsiveness.

Now to the actual frick up.

I threw it so hard that it skidded its way into the living room.

And I forgot where it had been. Before I even threw it on its merry way.

So the thing does a summersault and spread its nastiness.

I HAD TO CLEAN THE CORRIDOR AND LIVING ROOM AGAIN!

I'm so mad at this fricking piece of fricking equipment.

TL,DR;Cleaned the house, got sexy time as a result, buttplug was an absolute butt, so I threw it out into the house and had to clean said house again.

Ignoring the infuriatingly infantilized term "sexy time", the problem with this story becomes glaringly obvious to anyone who isn't a moron: buttplugs aren't supposed to be coated in shit. Here are some of the comments:

Bruh...?

Equally confused

I hate mobbing the floor

You know it's not supposed to have shit all over it

You know it's going in an butt. It's bound to have shit all over it from time to time.

Actually for most people it’s a huge part for you to make sure you’re clean down there before using anal s*x toys. Do you think everyone who uses them just has shit on their toys the moment they’re done? Enemas, cleaning yourself, being careful of what you’ve eaten ahead of time, etc. are all pretty essential parts of care before butt play. Otherwise, wouldn’t peepees be covered in shit every time you do anal considering they’re usually longer than a butt plug? Yeah sure sometimes there might me a spot or something, but if there’s enough shit on it for it to “spread nastiness” I think maybe there’s some lack of cleaning issues going on. I dunno just doesn’t really help the “Men don’t wash their asses” joke.

Oh wow that's a thorough answer. I get all that. It's just an inevitable thing that can happen when you play around with buttstuff. It's something I partake in with my partner and even though we're careful, it happens. Especially with spontaneous sexy time. But yeah never like, completely covered to "spread the nastiness" so I guess I hear you. Definitely doesn't help the "joke" which is basically not a joke 😆

Posts like this are all the evidence I need to know it isn’t a joke. Makes me thankful I’m a lesbian to be honest hahahaha

I looked into it and apparently you're not supposed to just give yourself an enema

Well from a medical standpoint no, but it’s incredibly common in gay culture for men to do them regularly for this purpose is all I’m saying 🤷🏻‍♀️

Not just gay men but straight as well who have partners that like to go down finger and peg. Sometimes they like it so much you have to put it on lock.

Bruh what is on it? There shouldn’t be anything other than lube on your butt plug are y’all not prepping???

Douche ya butt before my guy

Some people point out how OP is being rewarded with s*x for doing chores:

• epic story about having le s*x

• s*x as a reward for normal tasks

• ”sexy time”

• manchild behaviour even during said s*x

Oh baby, it’s Reddit time

It's the proudly saying you do Adult Chores only to earn s*x for me

Why does the minimal amount of effort around the house require this reward? These small tasks barley deserve a cookie.

I think this final comment sums it all up:

The frick is wrong with you weirdo?

/r/TIFU should just be renamed to /r/WeirdKinkStoriesToJerkOffTo and I would just toss this one in the "fake" pile if it weren't for how normie the rest of this guy's account is and how banal the story is compared to a lot of them. What's up with these guys. !moidmoment