r/aita: My (bait) wife and i waited until marriage, except turns out she lied and is a hoe. Redditors take this chance to dismantle OPs toxic masculinity that forced that poor girl to lie

Original bait post:

AITAH for divorcing my wife because i found out her bodycount.

I (27m) have been married with my wife (28F) for 8 months now. When I married her I was told to believe we both still had our V-cards because of religious reasons. (…) Later that day i asked my wife if she regrets waiting until marriage to which she responded: "I didn't wait i wanted to tell u but i never felt comfortable sharing it" (…) we had been dating for 7 months before we married. When she returned the day after I asked her what her real body count was and she told me it was with me included 17. (…) I told her that she had a month to pack her stuff and we are getting a divorce

Edit:

Since it was unclear; She flat out told me she was a virgin too when we started dating I told her I was waiting till marriage.

Unispired imo but i randomly caught it on the front page so it worked. Lets see the top responses

While a lot of comments are focusing on “she lied”, a bigger admission is what spelled ultimate doom for this marriage: “I wanted to tell u but I never felt comfortable sharing it.”

You don’t trust her because she lied. She never trusted you to be able to tell you the truth.

Let that sink in.

ESH

And when she did admit the truth, he yelled at her, called her names, and slut-shamed her.

No wonder she was scared how he was going to react. She had a very good reason to be and he proved it the second she left herself vulnerable.

If they divorce, this might turn out better for her. She dodged a bullet. Imagine how stuck she would feel if she had a kid with him before finding out this behavior.

https://old.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/15cgb5x/comment/jtx46s4/

Divorcing for body count is weird. Divorcing for dishonesty is not

He’s still a huge butthole.

"The issue isn't her not being a virgin, it's that she didn't wait til marriage like I did ......if she would have married and divorced all 16 of those guys it would have been fine".

I don't ask this much, but seriously, what's wrong with you? You're such an AH that you belong in a whole new category of butthole. First of all you take such a hard stance on no s*x before marriage (because that's what YOU personally choose to do so everyone you love must follow) and literally state that you wouldn't mind if your wife had married and then subsequently divorced 16 men (some of which she probably barely had a relationship with, but that's inconsequential to you) so she could remain pure in your eyes somehow. THEN you get mad when you place such an importance on it that she feels like she has to lie to you in order to keep you around. I don't normally condone lying but I'm sure that your obsession with having a virgin bride made her feel like she didn't have much of a choice if she wanted to have a relationship with you.

more words

To top all of this off, once you realized that she lied, instead of realizing how silly your little rule is and thinking that you love your wife anyway, you double down and want to divorce her- not because of the body count or because of the lie but because you would rather her have been divorced 16 times prior and told you about it instead of just had casual relationships that didn't really need a mention because virginity rule. The fact that you can't see why this is incredibly toxic is beyond me. I hope your wife finds someone who truly loves her for her and that maybe after you find out your next couple of wives all do the same thing as the first in order to keep up with your trivially insane standard things will start to sink in so you can actually prioritize a relationship with a woman instead of focusing on what's happened between her legs before you got there. In focusing on virginity before marriage and thinking that if someone decides to have s*x they get married and then can get divorced later, you're trivializing the sanctity of an institution which most people actually think of as a big deal.

Once again- YTA. Big time.

https://old.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/15cgb5x/comment/jtwybll/

Uhm that ís a pretty big life changing lie she told him though. It’s not the body count that matters here - it’s straight up lying to your SO’s face about it. (-3)

Nah, the lie is incidental. He's mad about what she lied about. His edits make it clear that it's over the s*x before marriage. They shouldn't be married, but that's because he's an butthole with extremely bigoted religious beliefs. (+7)

Also keep in mind dude your no longer a virgin anymore. What virgin woman is going to want you.

I love this comment.

I think the wife just dodged a bullet. She can do better! Way better! OP YTA! Bigly. May Jesus and God forgive your small mindedness because I know your soon to be ex wife won’t. #Free the wife!

https://old.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/15cgb5x/comment/jtwcl84/

bla bla

Okay? Thats still his choice. Lmao. Yeah you can seek someone who has the same religious values as you. I think they're stupid as frick and I would never date someone who felt that way. I wouldn't marry them either. And I certainly wouldn't LIE to them the whole time about it.

Yes, and when your choices are rooted in sexism, and s*** shaving, you are an a****** by default. Doesn't matter whether or not the other person is one too, the fact of the matter is you are an a******, and your ideologies need to change. At least if you want any chance at a healthy mature relationship That's an actual true partnership instead of someone controlling another person, it does.

https://old.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/15cgb5x/comment/jtwk79j/

Man. Religion is toxic.

So is OP’s masculinity

https://old.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/15cgb5x/comment/jtwvkyo/

I'm an atheist, and I wouldn't want her. (-94)

*I'm a misogynist and I wouldn't want her (+65)

https://old.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/15cgb5x/comment/jtwfwau/

You were a virgin for religious reasons. You married her after SEVEN months probably because you wanted to have s*x. Let’s be honest, that’s why so many religious people get married young or quickly. So they can frick. Then they are surprised when marriage is hard and s*x is difficult, and that you may not actually know each other or be mature enough to actually be married.

YTA. She was afraid she would be judged and you proved her right. You made a vow to marry her and stay married to her for better or worse.

https://old.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/15cgb5x/comment/jtw777z/

Thank you for doing this woman the amazing favor of not having to be married to someone like you any longer. Otherwise, her good nature and loyalty might have convinced her to stay with you, and she'd have eventually been miserable with an immature, misogynistic, abusive, delusional AH for many years. Now, she can go find a real man who appreciates her for Her and her amazing qualities and treats her like a human being instead of an extension of his narcissism and self-absorption.

I'm going to say NTA -- for letting her go before you wasted any more of her life. She's a lucky woman to be rid of you.

If you want to continue to avoid any further aholery, please stay away from other humans for the rest of your life. At 27, unless you're a disgusting p-do, you're never going to find a virgin anyway, so I guess womankind is safe from you now. Thank God.

https://old.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/15cgb5x/aitah_for_divorcing_my_wife_because_i_found_out/jtw3ya0/?context=3

"V-card?" That's such an offensive, gross term.

the amount of incels that exist out there is scaring, and people marry them too even scarier lmao insecure butt religious mfkers

https://old.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/15cgb5x/comment/jtx8frr/

Our society is so fricking broken. Between the backwards religious undertones of this post, and the obvious misogyny displayed on OP’s part, she’s dodging a bullet.

Also the worrying large amount of people defending his actions because she didn’t tell him the truth about how much s*x she had. Like what the frick

https://old.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/15cgb5x/comment/jtx7jnu/