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r/aita: My (bait) wife and i waited until marriage, except turns out she lied and is a hoe. Redditors take this chance to dismantle OPs toxic masculinity that forced that poor girl to lie

https://old.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/15cgb5x/aitah_for_divorcing_my_wife_because_i_found_out

Original bait post:

AITAH for divorcing my wife because i found out her bodycount.

I (27m) have been married with my wife (28F) for 8 months now. When I married her I was told to believe we both still had our V-cards because of religious reasons. (…) Later that day i asked my wife if she regrets waiting until marriage to which she responded: "I didn't wait i wanted to tell u but i never felt comfortable sharing it" (…) we had been dating for 7 months before we married. When she returned the day after I asked her what her real body count was and she told me it was with me included 17. (…) I told her that she had a month to pack her stuff and we are getting a divorce

Edit:

Since it was unclear; She flat out told me she was a virgin too when we started dating I told her I was waiting till marriage.

Unispired imo but i randomly caught it on the front page so it worked. Lets see the top responses

While a lot of comments are focusing on “she lied”, a bigger admission is what spelled ultimate doom for this marriage: “I wanted to tell u but I never felt comfortable sharing it.”

You don’t trust her because she lied. She never trusted you to be able to tell you the truth.

Let that sink in.

ESH

And when she did admit the truth, he yelled at her, called her names, and slut-shamed her.

No wonder she was scared how he was going to react. She had a very good reason to be and he proved it the second she left herself vulnerable.

If they divorce, this might turn out better for her. She dodged a bullet. Imagine how stuck she would feel if she had a kid with him before finding out this behavior.

https://old.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/15cgb5x/comment/jtx46s4/

Divorcing for body count is weird. Divorcing for dishonesty is not

He’s still a huge butthole.

"The issue isn't her not being a virgin, it's that she didn't wait til marriage like I did ......if she would have married and divorced all 16 of those guys it would have been fine".

I don't ask this much, but seriously, what's wrong with you? You're such an AH that you belong in a whole new category of butthole. First of all you take such a hard stance on no s*x before marriage (because that's what YOU personally choose to do so everyone you love must follow) and literally state that you wouldn't mind if your wife had married and then subsequently divorced 16 men (some of which she probably barely had a relationship with, but that's inconsequential to you) so she could remain pure in your eyes somehow. THEN you get mad when you place such an importance on it that she feels like she has to lie to you in order to keep you around. I don't normally condone lying but I'm sure that your obsession with having a virgin bride made her feel like she didn't have much of a choice if she wanted to have a relationship with you.

more words

To top all of this off, once you realized that she lied, instead of realizing how silly your little rule is and thinking that you love your wife anyway, you double down and want to divorce her- not because of the body count or because of the lie but because you would rather her have been divorced 16 times prior and told you about it instead of just had casual relationships that didn't really need a mention because virginity rule. The fact that you can't see why this is incredibly toxic is beyond me. I hope your wife finds someone who truly loves her for her and that maybe after you find out your next couple of wives all do the same thing as the first in order to keep up with your trivially insane standard things will start to sink in so you can actually prioritize a relationship with a woman instead of focusing on what's happened between her legs before you got there. In focusing on virginity before marriage and thinking that if someone decides to have s*x they get married and then can get divorced later, you're trivializing the sanctity of an institution which most people actually think of as a big deal.

Once again- YTA. Big time.

https://old.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/15cgb5x/comment/jtwybll/

Uhm that ís a pretty big life changing lie she told him though. It’s not the body count that matters here - it’s straight up lying to your SO’s face about it. (-3)

Nah, the lie is incidental. He's mad about what she lied about. His edits make it clear that it's over the s*x before marriage. They shouldn't be married, but that's because he's an butthole with extremely bigoted religious beliefs. (+7)

Also keep in mind dude your no longer a virgin anymore. What virgin woman is going to want you.

I love this comment.

I think the wife just dodged a bullet. She can do better! Way better! OP YTA! Bigly. May Jesus and God forgive your small mindedness because I know your soon to be ex wife won’t. #Free the wife!

https://old.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/15cgb5x/comment/jtwcl84/

bla bla

Okay? Thats still his choice. Lmao. Yeah you can seek someone who has the same religious values as you. I think they're stupid as frick and I would never date someone who felt that way. I wouldn't marry them either. And I certainly wouldn't LIE to them the whole time about it.

Yes, and when your choices are rooted in sexism, and s*** shaving, you are an a****** by default. Doesn't matter whether or not the other person is one too, the fact of the matter is you are an a******, and your ideologies need to change. At least if you want any chance at a healthy mature relationship That's an actual true partnership instead of someone controlling another person, it does.

https://old.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/15cgb5x/comment/jtwk79j/

Man. Religion is toxic.

So is OP’s masculinity

https://old.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/15cgb5x/comment/jtwvkyo/

I'm an atheist, and I wouldn't want her. (-94)

*I'm a misogynist and I wouldn't want her (+65)

https://old.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/15cgb5x/comment/jtwfwau/

You were a virgin for religious reasons. You married her after SEVEN months probably because you wanted to have s*x. Let’s be honest, that’s why so many religious people get married young or quickly. So they can frick. Then they are surprised when marriage is hard and s*x is difficult, and that you may not actually know each other or be mature enough to actually be married.

YTA. She was afraid she would be judged and you proved her right. You made a vow to marry her and stay married to her for better or worse.

https://old.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/15cgb5x/comment/jtw777z/

Thank you for doing this woman the amazing favor of not having to be married to someone like you any longer. Otherwise, her good nature and loyalty might have convinced her to stay with you, and she'd have eventually been miserable with an immature, misogynistic, abusive, delusional AH for many years. Now, she can go find a real man who appreciates her for Her and her amazing qualities and treats her like a human being instead of an extension of his narcissism and self-absorption.

I'm going to say NTA -- for letting her go before you wasted any more of her life. She's a lucky woman to be rid of you.

If you want to continue to avoid any further aholery, please stay away from other humans for the rest of your life. At 27, unless you're a disgusting p-do, you're never going to find a virgin anyway, so I guess womankind is safe from you now. Thank God.

https://old.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/15cgb5x/aitah_for_divorcing_my_wife_because_i_found_out/jtw3ya0/?context=3

"V-card?" That's such an offensive, gross term.

the amount of incels that exist out there is scaring, and people marry them too even scarier lmao insecure butt religious mfkers

https://old.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/15cgb5x/comment/jtx8frr/

Our society is so fricking broken. Between the backwards religious undertones of this post, and the obvious misogyny displayed on OP’s part, she’s dodging a bullet.

Also the worrying large amount of people defending his actions because she didn’t tell him the truth about how much s*x she had. Like what the frick

https://old.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/15cgb5x/comment/jtx7jnu/

152
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Reported by:
  • Grue : smh this comment has obviously botted voted, it has more than my superior reply.

Send her back to us heathens. We have cookies.

Redditors can't even stop simping for fictional whores. Amazing.

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Reported by:
  • Grue : Bold of you, when the replies here are a “y’all” away from being plebbit mod-tier moralizing

We have cookies.

:soysnoo:

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That’s literally just telling him to do what’s right for him with a positive spin and you r-slurs still call it simping.

Grass needs touching.

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Reported by:
  • Grue : At least admit your opinion was r-slurred

Grass needs touching.

You're right. Enjoy the break.

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Reported by:
  • Grue : You forgot to upvote me smh

:marseykingcrow#n:

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Reported by:
  • Grue : you didn’t remember to upvote me :marseycry:

Dudes rock!

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  • Grue : Thank you for being the one replied that remembered to upvote me!

:#marseykneel:

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  • Grue : You forgot to upvote me smh my head

:worship:

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I genuinely seethe over redditors sometimes

This is one of those times

I want to meet them irl

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:#marseyfedposthmmm:

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Yes

:#curbstomp:

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NOOO. DILBERT DON'T DO IT

https://i.rdrama.net/images/16906483761389883.webp


Give me your money and I'll annoy people with it :space: https://i.rdrama.net/images/16965516366194396.webp

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Ranch or cool ranch?

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Reddit has the same number of black users as rdrama.

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We got penny though

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So... everyone? :marseythinkorino:

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:#marseyfedpostyes:

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Redditors when the (fake) wife has a room temperature body count: :marseyakumu:

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MRW redditors :rage#strangle:

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Imagine being a reditor and not venerating the :marseybutt2: every living, breathing moment of your life.

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And all those words over something so fake.

:#marseyunamused:

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Our society is so fricking broken because you can't lie to your fiancée and get away with it

:#marseyeyeroll2:

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I want to meet beat them irl

Fixed your typo, chief

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Right? OP was so stupid.

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This but unironically. He should be seeking an annullment, not a divorce

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I dont seethe reading these, its just impressive to read shit like this:

Yes, and when your choices are rooted in sexism, and s*** shaving, you are an a****** by default.

The impressive thing about a post like this is that this person, probably an adult, has no room for nuance, doesnt see justified anger from being lied to with half your shit on the hook, sees no manner where you can disagree with his/her r-slurred position and not be an butthole. Adults proudly showcasing the mindset of literal children, IQs barely higher than that of an ape, should leave you in fear for the future.

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should leave you in fear for the future.

And remember that by being on reddit _at all_ we're preselecting for the literate

And something like 33% of people (in the US) aren't literate enough to communicate online, apparently.

Basically there's a whole lot of people out there that have the functional intelligence of a housecat

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Basically there's a whole lot of people out there that have the functional intelligence of a housecat

:#omgeerie:

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>33% of people cant communicate online at all

Care to provide a specific breakdown of these people :marseynooticeglow:

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That's actually not what I was implying

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I didnt expect you to actually answer either, I'm just joking lad haha BUT DID YOU KNOW 13% OF THE POP-

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facebook users

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I've worked with a few guys who (I'm guessing) fit the profile. All Reddit-users, lib-left, socially undeveloped, nice-ish, a little too into anime. All 100% incapable of getting into a relationship or maintaining one long term. It makes sense if you think about it. If I was a trusting person without any meaningful dating or relationship experience trying to get the box I'd probably ignore some red-flags as well.

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Basically incels that don't know they're incels

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Incels who call other incels incels

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:marsey#nouautism:

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I've already clearly explained my opinion of you and your antics. There can be no further fruitful discussion here.

However, while we're on the subject of "faith"...

Do you shave your beard? Leviticus 19:27 says you shouldn't...

Do you wear modern textiles? Leviticus 19:19 and Deuteronomy 22:11 say you shouldn't...

You eat shellfish? Leviticus 11:12 says no prawns for you my guy...

Like eating pork products? Leviticus 11:7 clearly says no bacon for you...

Unless you are following every single rule in your holy book you have no need to bother yourself with Leviticus 21:13

Lol this redditor literally dropped a "my guy" on you, extremely euphoric

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This is peak westoid Redditoid, totally misunderstanding a deep culture and faith while asserting to know it better than the people raised in it.

https://old.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/15cgb5x/aitah_for_divorcing_my_wife_because_i_found_out/jtw750r/

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Literally a smuggie in human form

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It's detestable because you're supposed to stone the woman instead

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Lmao at religitards with their ancient rule books and health codes that have been passed down through the centuries cause their followers survived

Eat the shellfish christcuck

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Body count? V-Card? Oh honey, bless your heart

This. And I had to scroll way too far to find this.

:marseyhammersnoo:

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>you WILL marry a whore and you WILL like it!

I hate Redditors so much

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you didn't rope :spit: welcome back, king :marseykingcrown:

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this shit HAS to be TRAUMATIZING lmao

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waiting until marriage

Ultracringe

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Expecting foid to wait

https://i.rdrama.net/images/16906458309364455.webp

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believing a foid when she tells you her body count

:!marseylaughpoundfist::marseygigaretard!:

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What is fricking that

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White waman

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I love that you made her older.

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foids not lying challenge (impossible)

redditors not excusing their shitty behavior challenge (also impossible)

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https://i.rdrama.net/images/16906469323810961.webp

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Wrong thread?

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That's no wrong threads to talk about fluffy cats :marseyfluffy: :marseyhesfluffyyouknow::marseyfluffylove:

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@Losercel your boy is back

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i still lurk sometimes, i try not to waste time seeking out and seething over internet drama but i just stumbled on this one and had to have my seethe affirmed

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extremely bigoted religious beliefs

Who exactly is he being bigoted against in this hypothetical? Sluts? Liars?

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To top all of this off, once you realized that she lied, instead of realizing how silly your little rule is and thinking that you love your wife anyway, you double down and want to divorce her

I keep seeing this weird message that if you're in a decent relationship any information that you later find out about your partner should not alter your view of them at all, except of course if you find out he voted for drumpf, then you drop him.:marseynails:

Seriously people try incredibly hard to divorce themselves from their actions but your actions and thoughts are literally what you are. It's weird how liberal feminists have decided in recent years that sexual history is not something you're allowed to take into account when dating someone.

THEN you get mad when you place such an importance on it that she feels like she has to lie to you in order to keep you around.

Redditoids and accountability are two lines that never meet.

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This is why you marry a foid who uses pads instead of tampons.

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:marse#ywave3:

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Also keep in mind dude your no longer a virgin anymore. What virgin woman is going to want you.

:mars#eyhesright:

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Remember, though, I'm only telling you this as an own. If you interpret it to mean that your only recourse is to kill her to regain your honor, that would be silly

:#marseyclueless:

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Divorcing for body count is weird

Divorcing for dishonesty is not

Would you knowingly buy a car with 17 previous owners? (all 17 owners sprayed their c*m around the interior)

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Yikes chud quit objectifying women!!!

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Only if none of them cleaned it :marseyslurp:

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Lying about even the smallest, most inconsequential matters (e.g. fricking an entire sports team during your childhood) is immediate banishment.

Life is so inherently interesting and full of mystery, people who invent their own truth deserve execution.

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>he forgot the Rule of 3 when dealing with foid :marseywomanmoment: body count :marseydisagree:

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The incel seethe posting itt is great :marseyxd:

Virgincel got pwned by a kween. Next post - time to get divorced and take half :marseyxd:

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I know this stuff is ridiculous and predictable redditor-reactions to baitposting about s*x, but to serious-post for a sec....

And when she did admit the truth, he yelled at her, called her names, and slut-shamed her.

>

No wonder she was scared how he was going to react. She had a very good reason to be and he proved it the second she left herself vulnerable.

One of the biggest and most-commonly overlooked red flags in any relationship is when one person uses their psychic powers to resolve/avoid disputes, instead of communicating and engaging with the other person.

It's a sign of someone with poorly-defined boundaries and sense of self. It's a signal that they are not engaged in a relationship with you, as in, the actual cluster of molecules that lives inside your skin and that is you, but that they are instead in a relationship with an imaginary person in their head, whom you are a stand-in for. And it almost always means that the version of themselves who is in that relationship is not actually themselves, as in, the collection of molecules and lived experience that makes up their real body and self, but a similar imaginary construct, whom they are playing the role of.

When a partner says, "I didn't tell you because I knew you would be upset", how did they know? How could they know? And the answer is that they knew you would be upset because the imaginary version of you whom they are trying to please would be upset, because they themselves are ashamed of the thing, because they don't have a strong and secure sense of identity, because they struggle to understand the boundary that separates them from the rest of the universe.

This kind of person can sometimes keep up the act of being a (mostly) fantastic partner for a long, long time. Because they are playing a role, and trying to predict your feelings, wants, and needs, they can seem to be almost "psychic", and often sort of are, because they have sought out and connected with someone who can be a pretty good stand-in for the imaginary partner in their head. So the better you fit their "type", and the more that your own thoughts, feelings, needs, and desires match those of the imaginary person in their head, the more it will seem like they are sort of supernaturally good for you, at first.

The problem is that this kind of relationship is manipulative, and almost always unsustainable. The pressure to foresee and anticipate every need, the internalized shame at any slip of the mask or failure to sustain the performance, the relentless anxiety and insecurity and uncertainty...that breeds resentment, and resentment invariably squishes out around the edges and through the seams, most often as entitlement. And entitlement leads people to do reckless and stupid shit, to say cruel and hurtful things, to lash out in irrational outbursts, all kinds of relationship-destroying stuff.

A healthy relationship starts with a clear sense of the differences between us, and an acceptance of those differences (and often a special a love for them). If I am trying to predict and mind-read how your "dream girl" would act, and to fulfill that role 24/7/365, that is both impossible and frankly manipulative. I am not only giving up my own sense of self, I am also disrespecting your identity as a separate, full-blooded, three-dimensional human being with a past and a present that are different from mine.

Guilt is a normal and healthy thing to feel, if I have done something that goes against my values and my sense of the person I want to be. Guilt is a feeling that inspires us to apologize, to make amends, to reflect and grow as a person. But shame, the feeling that I need to hide who I am or what I have done...that is almost always corrosive and toxic to building healthy relationships. Shame doesn't motivate me to improve myself, it motivates me to conceal, to lie, to manipulate. Instead of answering to my own conscience, I become fixated on the judgements of an imaginary chorus of characters that I carry around in my own head, and that makes it almost impossible for me to connect with another person in an authentic way. I will get trapped in a cycle of trying to trick or manipulate them into loving me, because I can't see myself as lovable until I find a way to let go of the shame, and to process that stuff as either guilt and forgiveness (possibly including some unpleasant penance), or as compassion for the version of me that was trying and failing, or as some combination of both.

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Facts

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I'm pretty sure that every post on this AITAH offshoot is made by us.

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This is one of the many moments where you read this shit and realize redditors are r-slurs

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NO HYMEN, NO DIAMOND!

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don't marry someone after only seven months

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more opportunities for s*x (for me)

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