Hey everyone, I'll start off with saying that I am dating my significant other for over 4 years now. She is the love of my life, I definitely love her and I will do anything to make her happy. I am even saving up to take her to her dream trip and to propose to her there. I am an ex competitive athlete, so my entire life I've been eating right and working out, I did have an obese childhood but when I discovered sports I fell inlove with it.
Now, over the last few years she has gained a lot of weight, we are talking over 20kg when she initially was already a bit overweight. My type was always skinny and fit women but I really clicked with her and liked her that I was still attracted to her when she was a bit heavier than my type. Now however I just don't really feel the physical attraction. I never brought it up to her as I didn't want her to feel bad and I know it also bothers her as she can't dress how she wants and finding clothes is a struggle for her. She brought up that she wanted to lose weight but she couldn't afford the dietition she wanted so I pay for that for her (its a big chunk of my salary aswell) and I definitely know its a good dietitian that specializes in EDs and plenty of other things and I knew people who she really helped. I also do the majority of the cooking but she doesn't enjoy my "healthy foods" and only the cheat meals. I offered to take her workout with me and even pick up a new sport so that we will both be amateurs together but it didn't hold for more than 2 sessions. She is also perfectly healthy (as in no hormonal problems and such) and she is mentally healthy (which I am really happy about!)
Well due to my lack of sexual attraction we barely have s*x, she is trying to initiate but I am just not into it. Today she asked me if I would be happy if she lost some weight and I said "I think you're pretty but you'll definitely be a super model when you get to your goal body". Then she asked me if the reason we have less s*x is due to her fat gain and my stupid brain just said "I think its part of it"
And she doesn't want to talk to me as of right now.
TLDR I accidentally said that I am not attracted to my girlfriend of over 4 years due to her weight gain and now she doesn't talk to me.
its okay to not be attracted to obese people its unhealty especially when something can be done about it bodies do change if you dont work to upkeep them
Health issues happen, babies happen, life happens. Staying in shape is not even close to being everyone's main priority. You don't have to be attracted to obese people, but the love you have for another person should usually be what makes you feel attracted to them.
Those are all cop outs to avoid taking personal responsibility.
I tend to shy away from suggesting that what we find sexually attractive is a choice.
Not saying it's a choice. Just saying if your range of what you find attractive is narrow enough that it excludes people you can fall in love with, there may be an issue
Yeah he is the bad guy for no longer being attracted to his partner after she gained 50lbs in a year. What a horrible person!
Correct
Man did you pick the parts of the post you wanted and run with them...
I doubt this individual runs.
It is hammered into women's heads that their worth is based on their weight and attractiveness. She is probably feeling worthless right now. She is crying a lot and probably is unable to discuss it without crying right now. I doubt her intention is to βcut him off.β
It's not worth but attraction that is tied to her weight, the same way it is with men and height. You can change your weight, so no excuses.
That's your opinion. I don't know any woman who gives a darn about height. I've never dated a guy over 5'9β.
Its the no 1 selector on many sites and your anecdotal data does not change the statistics. :)
vs
You didn't frick up by telling her that, you fricked up by being a shallow piece of shit.
This is a useless and dumb statement
Nah, it's useful and intelligent. Unless OP is gonna try to Leo it and constantly replace his partner with a newer younger model then being an butthole about changing appearance is not going to work. And of course some day he will most likely begin to degrade in his appearance and he would want to get shit on for that.
as you get older, it becomes impossible to lose weight
true
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