Everytime I feel like okay this is it, everytime I plan "Tomorrow I will move my stupid butt to go around town various pharmacy searching for various pills pertaining to bloot sugar, blood pressure medicines" in bulk(around 3-4 batches) and take 1 file each, if one batch doesnt work, I will have two more to try again.
But everytime I cannot think of actually doing it. Its like one moment I am extremely in ready state but for some reason my mind now wants to only think of funny stuff. How can I actually go ahead and do it? I am tired of this childish game I play with myself.
I have also withdrawn the money from an ATM machine because it wont be wise to pay with bank transfer as I wouldnt want any of those pharmacies getting into trouble because of me
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Don't keep yourself safe
and check 
yourself 
into an institution or something man.
Also "ATM Machine" is redundant. The M in ATM stands for "Machine"
Though the first
piece of advice is more important than the second 
lol 
Jewish lives matter
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I am actually laughing very hard on that dad joke and I dont know why. Just about 5 minutes earlier I was rubbing my hair and eyes were filled with tears and some very weird sensation that almost should have been pain inside my brain. I actually hope that this ends soon.
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Go ask the front
desk person 
at a hospital 
if they think 
it's "ATM MACHINE" or "ATM"
Also don't forget to mention to them that you're suicidal
so they can give you a special 
room where 
they tell you the answer 
even faster 
Jewish lives matter
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