EFFORTPOST Everyone that writes with a pen must DIE RIGHT FRICKING NOW - Watch a 70 year old company destroy itself with me.

Greetings,

Back in the day people used to write words on pieces of paper. I know this is alien to most of you zoomers that think emojis evoke anything other than cringe and derision BUT we didn't always used to have iPhones and your penance for making that okay is dying from climate change. WITH THAT IN MIND - The fountain pen community is in absolute fricking shambles and it's so fun.

SO - Fountain pens are fancy white people pens that you fill with ink and shit and you use them to write fancy stupid shit on pieces of paper for gender reveal parties and funerals. For literal decades of years the German company LAMY has been the top c*nt of this world - they sell the fanciest pens and they sell the BEST ink that everyone uses and they essentially set the industry standard for all of the people that write shit on pieces of paper.

In 2016 LAMY released a limited edition pen and a limited edition ink to go with it - this ink was Dark Lilac. This ink was like the bees fricking knees. Impossible to recreate - had a golden sheen - did black-to-blue-to-purple like WOAH - this ink was impossible to ignore and no ink company has been able to replicate it since. This ink is basically the best thing to ever fricking happen to anyone ever.

LOOK AT THAT LIFE CHANGIN SHIT

LAMY has never re-released this shade of ink despite it's obvious cult status and most think it's because they literally can't - this was a flash in the pan accident at the factory and that's why no other ink company has been able to replicate that shit. WITH THIS IN MIND - mere days ago the LAMY company advertised two new limited edition pens and two new limited edition inks Safari Pink and VIOLET BLACKBERRY.

THE WORLD LITERALLY EXPLODED YALL

The fountain pen r-slurs were having the world's largest tard rage over whether or not this VIOLET BLACKBERRY was going to be DARK LILAC AND OMG FUFCKING SLKDFJLSKDFJLKSDJFkjk

1500 tard rages later LAMY released a statement saying that Violet Blackberry was an homage to Dark Lilac BUT keep in mind they did not say that it was Dark Lilac but NO ONE cared because they said the words "Dark Lilac" and everyone went absolutely fricking feral.

TRAGEDY

European and Chinese re-sellers bought up ALLLLLL of the Violet Blackberry ink and started posting them online AS Dark Lilac (Temu grade shenanigans basically) because LAMY said it was an homage and no one knows what the frick the word "homage" means anymore because you all only speak in fricking emojis BUT bottles of legit Dark Lilac previously sold for literally thousands of dollars because it was a legit ONE TIME thing that cannot be replicated by any company ever because it's probably full of lead and cancer but when these bottles of Violet Blackberry started filling the market as a cheap version of Dark Lilac people went INSANE and bought them all because DARK LILAC OMG.

TRAGEDY AGAIN

https://x.com/mikeycpa/status/1763633921294524728

SO everyone bought the fake Dark Liles and then once their little prezzies came in the mail they realized that THIS SHIT AINT DARK LILAC OMG - quelle fricking surprise.

https://x.com/sarah_cone/status/1763646231765557748

This new "Dark Lilac" didn't even fricking work half the time and was awful but those c*nts at LAMY never said it was Dark Lilac so everyone that bought all the fake shit overseas for wayyyyyy above market price for regular ink were just r-slurs that couldn't read, right? WRONG

LAMY chose the path of evil and released a public statement that Violet Blackberry was "in fact" also Dark Lilac and that you should totes keep buying all of those shitty bottles of Violet Blackberry under the assumption that they were Dark Lilac from shitty Chinese resellers.

Why they did this is beyond me but it didn't hold water for more than 8 hours as anyone that had used the new ink KNEW it was totally nothing like the old ink. Twitter tards called bullshit and got LAMY to make a statement and the statement was that they were "sorry about making the ink release with the name Dark Lilac" EVEN THO THEY DIDNT EVEN ORIGINALLY DO THAT. Total bullshit to cover up their re-seller shenanigans.

https://x.com/aidandvg1/status/1762578872837746932

SO no one bought any of their bullshit and twitter was INSANE about this shit. The backlash was so severe for two days and then LAMY as a company decided to SELL THEMSELVES TO MITSUBISHI - this happened literally hours ago. Totally insane. Everyone was laid off and LAMY as a company like literally DOES NOT EXIST anymore other than as an online retailer-front.

All because of a stupid fricking fountain pen ink.