The fat black women combo is a brutal one. : TwoXChromosomes

Hello, I too am fat and black. When I was 18 and 140 pounds LIGHTER, my mom told me no one would want me because I'm fat. I'm now 28 and weigh 359 pounds as of this morning. I'm in a healthy relationship, have a good career, and just got my MBA.

Wow she grew up by over 2 in 10 years. MBA is also a degree for rich kids. For curiosity checked her profile for healthy relationship:

So I assume it's healthy relationship with her illness

Mandatory tramp bad comment:

My favorite trope is that women are too emotional to be good leaders. Have you seen some of the men in charge? Trump has the emotional regulation of a toddler on meth and people think he'd make a good leader. Elon Musk got on stage and told his customers to go frick themselves because they hurt his fee-fees. These men are absolutely unhinged.

I want to underline your point about loving all of yourself. It is so, so important.

When I was in middle school I was put on a medication that made me eat endlessly. My hunger was utterly insatiable. I would never feel full even when my stomach felt like it was bursting at the seams. I had stopped looking at the scale when I hit 300 lbs. I don't know where my weight peaked. I didn't want to know at that point.

Almost 15 years later I'm still trying to work the last bit of it off. I fluctuate around 220 lbs. I'm still learning about my emotional eating habits. And I would resent the way I looked. Which made me feel worse, which only led to more eating.

Around 80% black women are obese, something must not be right.

Have you read Sonya Renee Taylor's "The Body is Not an Apology"? She's a Black woman in a larger body and I think she is smart and wise and sexy beyond measure. Also, Roxanne Gay's work, but mostly "Hunger." There aren't enough voices coming from Black women who self-identify as fat, but I do think the numbers are growing.

Sexy beyond measure

>There aren't enough voices coming from Black women who self-identify as fat, but I do think the numbers are growing.

Last part she ain't wrong tho

Speaking as a white woman, I agree. I used to do some rave-wear "influencing" and a specific company would have only one plus size model/rep, which often was also their only black model/rep as well. I love that they were giving black women a platform, but I'd wager you do not appreciate being the token "fat" and "black" every time.

Such perfect sucker punch

It is ok to live your life like you are the main character. I'm a black women, my body is small not large but I also find myself on the margins and feeling invisible because I'm not a standard issue black women (I'm mixed, im dorky as heck, i talk weird, I'm massively over educated, my hobbies and interests are strange for any race) I dont belong anywhere and I don't see myself anywhere (except for on billboard ads of companies that are trying to not have just white people in their ads anymore but still want to appeal mainly to white people so they use a light skinned 3B curly haired agreeable bendable young black woman, its so identical and ubiquitous its hard not to notice)

Oooh I suffer being the perfect black role model while not being fat I am so invisible just similar looking girls like me are on billboards, have I mentioned I am smell not fat, I don't belong anywhere I am not like you fat black ghetto trash I am not like other black girls.

I love how you can always find on XXhomoshrome comment like those

Please be kind to yourself with the thought of “I could lose weight…”. That should be irrelevant to the fact you are being mistreated.

You shouldn't have to lose weight to gain respect.

I mean if she can go to 800lbs I'll be impressed

I completely understand. I spent almost all of my life punishing my body for my perceived life's failures and forcing it to carry my emotional pain.

It sucks that society can't see past our flesh prisons, but I understand people use appearance to categorize others and make determinations from there.

My only advice is to focus on those who see you for who you actually are and disregard the others. We are on this planet for a limited time, we can't allow others to dictate our identity. Our opinion of ourselves matters more than anyone else's. Choose who you want to be, be them, and love them.

I mean they are pooping on they body while ignoring its the user of that body who maintained that body to become a pile of fat than they get angry that the user of that body is looked down because that user can't keep that body in shape

Eh it's been long without sucker punches eh

As a former fat white woman, it was not easy either. And I was not sexualized at all. I was called Shamu, I was constantly heckled by men, saying disgusting things, guessing my weight, or making fun of me. I have gone on a great journey and lost 250 pounds over 10 years ago. And my favorite thing is just disappearing in a crowd now, not being noticed, not being looked at, and just being able to live without the fear of some butthole injecting their opinion about me on me.

Serious question to help me understand something:

Can you please give me a bit of insight into your last sentence? I don't know about situations where losing weight (from a high starting point) is a medical risk.

(Of course I'm not asking about private specifics, so if it is hard to give me an answer I understand)

Losing weight for me isn't a medical risk, just not a big priority right now. I added it in there, cause people always like to say “well you can change your weight” or “you don't have to be fat” and I didn't want to hear it.

B-word fat, doesn't want to change and lose weight, want to change the world and force accepting her fat butt