Taylor Swift got cucked by a sleep paralysis demon

I'm not a swifty but I do love celebrity gossip.

Last year Taytay broke up with her boyfriend of 6 years, a rather twinkish but very attractive young man named Joe Alwyn. Her relationship with Alwyn was so secretive that many people who weren't fans didn't even know she had managed to hold down a man for so long. She then almost immediately renewed that reputation by getting into what appeared to be a whirlwind romance with professional rat boy Matty Healy despite him being British and looking like an ingrown toenail. he also had had a very controversial podcast appearance (on the Adam Friedland Show lmao) where he said he liked to watch Ghetto Gaggers and made a racist joke about Ice Spice. Fans had a meltdown and in any event Tswizzle evidently broke up with him after only a few months.

https://old.reddit.com/r/Fauxmoi/comments/13es88l/back_in_february_matty_healy_admitted_to_watching/

https://old.reddit.com/r/TaylorSwift/comments/13kdg2w/why_the_matty_healys_comments_on_black_women/

https://old.reddit.com/r/Fauxmoi/comments/141ntw8/taylor_swift_and_matty_healy_break_up/

she moved on to Travis Kelce and that was that.

this April she dropped a new album and everyone expected it to be about Alwyn or maybe Kelce. well, almost the whole thing was about Matty Healy. as it turns out, this wasn't a whirlwind romance after all. she had actually known Healy for 12 years at this point and was basically having an emotional affair with him while she was with Alwyn. Healy persuaded her to break up with Alwyn, then pumped and dumped her. in fact he actually ghosted her, not the other way around. song after song on her newest 17 track album is about wanting him to at least call her, while referring to him as the "smallest man who ever lived" and griping that he moved on to a younger woman. which he did. today he proposed to this monstrosity:

she looks like a cannibal but on the other hand she's also 26 years old so there's that.

https://old.reddit.com/r/Fauxmoi/comments/1ddy6kx/matty_healy_proposed_to_his_girlfriend_gabbriette/

https://old.reddit.com/r/popculturechat/comments/1ddyhs3/gabbriette_bechtel_posts_instagram_story_that/

so far despite despising him while he was with Taylor, fauxmoi has almost nothing to say about this engagement other than how funny it is that Taylor actually got replaced by whatever Gabbriette Bechtel is.