FUTURE DRAMA ALERT !g*mers !coomers !highrollers START BUYING DRAMASTOCK IN STELLAR BLADE NOW :redlight:

Okay I don't have any drama for you. Yet. I am here with breaking news :marseyreportercnn: about drama that will be very soon upcoming. PAY ATTENTION to game journ*lism websites, /r/gamingcirclejerk, and resetera, as there is a chance for an entire minor newscycle of seethe on the horizon.

I'm of course talking about Stellar Blade.

This game got a lot of hate from journ*lists when it came out a couple months ago because the main character is hot :marseybutt2: , and that's literally it. The typical g*mer-journofoid is eternally jealous she doesn't look like that.

(It's extra hilarious because that woman in the game isn't even a product of :marseyairquotes: the male gaze , her in-game model is directly based on a real-life Koreafoid who actually looks like that:

BUT WE'RE NOT HERE BECAUSE OF THAT. THAT'S OLD NEWS.

This drama is so fresh it hasn't even happened yet.

ShiftUp, the company that makes two coomer games (Stellar Blade and a gacha phone game), has just had one of its major meetings, where it laid out a road map for some of its games:

https://m.gamevu.co.kr/news/articleView.html?idxno=33691

Of particular note is this:

Squintcels that can't read that, it says that they'll be adding a "photo mode" to Stellar Blade. :marseyxd: We all know what this will mean: g*mers and gooners alike will be able to ogle the female main character in ways unattainable heretofor. :marseyneat: :marseygigatitty: :marseyb!ooba:

The skimpy, sexy outfits in the base game could be hand-waved away as just "stylish." But there's no way anyone can pretend this new photo-mode won't be purely for gooning too, and it has the potential to re-generate the seethe around this game.

Could this be a nothing-burger? :marseynothingburger: Maybe it gets one thread on Twitter (formerly X) that gripes about how horny moids always are and then it goes nowhere? Or maybe the photo mode doesn't let you zoom in at all (unlikely, this company makes two goonergames, upskirt is guaranteed at this point)

Or maybe we get an entire week of seething across Reddit, X (formerly Twitter), Resetera, Kotaku, and the entire gaming newscycle. :marseypleading2:

I know burgers :eaglebikini: are probably asleep right now but I had to get this out now before anyone else can beat me to the punch. PLEASE let this shit infuriate fat, ugly foids :marseybegging: