You lost your jobs? Like it just went missing and you are looking for it?

If you've got indoor dogs with access to your bed, you should really consider getting one of those mattress protector sheets.

You're going to be stuck with that smell until you replace that mattress.

Sleeping on the floor is honestly not that bad, i got a mattress because i want girls to sleep with me, but if that's not a concern floor sleeping is based and honestly probably a lot better for your back and neck

Not to mention how much space a bedroom has when you can just roll up your sleeping sheets/blankets

wow that sucks bro you might butt well keep yourself safe now since youll never get another mattress

It can only get better from here on out. That job was shit anyway.

This neighbor doesnt even have two sets of sheets. Talk about broke butt.

This is one of the many reasons to be /r/dogfree.

After you scrub off the shit, if spray the pissed on area down with windex to give it a good soaking. Should offset the piss smell.

I'll shit on your bed next time @404notfound

Such an L it makes me think it must be a foid?

If you need a new mattress, I ordered one from Amazon and it was a surprisingly easy experience. It was like $100. It arrived in a compressed form and it inflated once removed from the packaging. I still sleep on it and it feels fine, although I've never been picky about mattresses.

The hard part is disposing of the old mattress. I forgot how I did it. I vaguely remember paying some service to take it away; that wasn't too expensive. This was like 8 years ago.

(the reason I had to get rid of the old mattress is not that I pissed and shit on it (although I do that, routinely, and I enjoy sleeping in piss & shit) but because the metal springs started sticking out and it would stab me)

I would recommend a mattress protector so this doesn't happen in the future. It's like a fitted sheet; it wraps around the top of the mattress and it's impermeable to fluids. If your dumb mongrel does this again, just wash the protector. The mattress should be fine.

Also, you'll find a new job soon enough. Don't worry about it. You're white and intelligent. You're golden.

This has been "reassuring radio" with your host, Ted Pleasantman.

Im sorry you lost your job :(

I WANT THE THING YOU'RE SELLING.

YOU LIVE CLOSE TO ME AND IT FITS MY NEEDS.

YOU LISTED IT ON MARKETPLACE HOPING TO EXCHANGE IT FOR MONEY.

I HAVE MONEY.

I'M NOT GOING TO LOWBALL YOU.

I'M WILLING TO PAY THE ASKING PRICE.

I'M NOT GOING TO ASK "WILL YOU TRADE AN OLD BATTERY JUMP-START KIT OR A USED COMPUTER DESK FOR IT?"

COLD, HARD CASH.

FRICKING RESPOND.

DON'T IGNORE MY MESSAGES THEN LIST IT AS "SOLD" TWO WEEKS FROM NOW

You take de dog ana you poot him in de deeshwashur. High heat two cycle. He come out an oh he so tired you take de hefty bag an he go on de curb an rest.

Time to treat yourself to a brand new mattress. Make it high Q.

Alternatively, get a cheap Ozone generator to get rid of the smell.

You deserve it!

Depending on how far it soaked in, the mattress may be doneso. But you can try getting some Nature's Miracle and dumping it on any residual spots. It's an enzyme cleaner, you just soak the spots and let it air dry and break all the stank up.

Gross dude that mattress is toasted

soren

You will never be a real neighbor. You have no melanin, you have no opps, you have no drip. You are a headass cracka twisted by drugs and gang shit into a crude mockery of nature's perfection.

All the “validation” you get is two-faced and half-hearted. Behind your back people mock you. Your parents are disgusted and ashamed of you, your “homies” laugh at your ghoulish skin behind closed doors.

Hood neighbors are utterly repulsed by you. Thousands of years of evolution have allowed neighbors to sniff out frauds with incredible efficiency. Even tronkies who “pass” look uncanny and unnatural to a neighbor. Your bone structure is a dead giveaway. And even if you manage to get a drunk guy to hang with you, he'll turn tail and bolt the second he hears your chipmunk butt crakoid vocal signature.

You will never be happy. You wrench out a fake smile every single morning and tell yourself it's going to be ok, but deep inside you feel the depression creeping up like a weed, ready to crush you under the unbearable weight.

Eventually it'll be too much to bear - you'll buy a rope, tie a noose, put it around your neck, and plunge into the cold abyss. Your parents will find you, heartbroken but relieved that they no longer have to live with the unbearable shame and disappointment. They'll bury you with a headstone marked with your birth name, and every passerby for the rest of eternity will know a honky is buried there. Your body will decay and go back to the dust, and all that will remain of your legacy is a skeleton that is unmistakably white.

This is your fate. This is what you chose. There is no turning back.