The New Yorker article is called "Why So Many People Are Going "No Contact" with Their Parents" from August 30. It discusses the trend of millenial and Gen Z kids who completely estrnager themsleves from their parents for often unspecified or relatively minor issues. Being "toxic", or conservative, or not being 100% aligned with the current stance on gender. The author is very nuanced and interviews one young woman estraged from her family and also compares her to other online stories, while also reserving empathy for parents confused by this. /r/longreads is a sub for posting long non-fiction articles. It's not /r/raisedbynarccists or one of those shitty JUSTNO fanfiction subs so one would expect a rfairly balanced reaction to a complex issue, right? The sub's whole deal is digesting complexing information.
Nah. Comments are filled with people trauma dumping their ridiculous family conflcits for all to see. One commenter longposts about all their bullshit mommy issues, and describes the reason for their estrangement thusly:
Man, I still don't understand the reason why. Your wedding was dramatic and people wanted different things so you didn't talk to your mother for five years?
Another comment:
I don't really understand how you could write an article discussing a child separating from their parents without explaining that, no, the parents were not abusive in the way the majority of people consider to be 'abusive'.
Redditor's reading comprehension is zero. I don't see how one can read the article and think the author is calling anyone abusive. Where does it imply the parents don't love her? Even "Amy", the journ*list's interviewee, doesn't believe that. So much seethe.
Basically, the article goes into depth in gently challenging some of the gosoel beliefs of the 'no contact' / 'raised by narcissist' communities, including the fundamental belief that it's impossible for a parent to understand or make up for whatever grievance their child has given as the reason for their estrangement. What do redditors do? They simply post links to the books and articles that the author has clearly read and lightly refuted.
etc
The longer your scroll in the comments the more filled with sneed and less intelligent they get.
Anyway, here is a great example of the orthodoxy of reddit being challenged and the resulting cope and seethe. Enjoy.
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
She cut ties with her mother over the freakin' wedding and then the wedding never happened due to Covid. So instead of being a grown adult and contacting her mom to talk about how "I was very stressed out at the time because of the wedding preparations", she didn't talk to her for five years. Mom wanted to invite the stepfather's family because he's her husband now, they are now part of the family, and a wedding is about family and not "me me me" in spite of all you may think. She doesn't consider that she slapped her mother in the face with "he's nothing to me, I don't care if he's your husband, they're not my family". How would she feel if she split up with her first husband, got married to a new guy, and her sister and the rest of the family said "He's nothing to us, he's not family, only your ex-husband counts as my brother-in-law"?
But I'm betting that when mom dies, she'll be there with her hand out for the inheritance, and if she doesn't get it, she'll be whining about her mother being so cruel and neglecting her darling daughter. Only family when it suits them.
The entire point of the article saying that people go no-contact even where there is no physical or other abuse, is that some of your reasons are dumb. Sometimes yeah, you have to cut yourself off because it's too damaging even if they're not beating you and stealing your stuff to fund a drug habit, but "I let Thanksgiving, Christmas, and the past five years go by over a wedding that ended up never happening"? That's a stupid reason. And she knows it and that is why she is so defensive.
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
I hope you had chatgpt pen that one fam
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
More options
Context
More options
Context