EFFORTPOST My original rdrama fanfiction

Once upon a time there was a little boy named Sneedman who was so tiny he was often mistaken for children half his age. His voice was high pitched and squeaky and whenever he spoke the gentlemen of the little town of Bethlehem would quickly take of their fedoras and bow, thinking that there was a fair lady in their presence. Nevertheless, despite it all, Sneedman got on just fine.

Now Sneedman was in love with a beautiful lady named FrozenChosen who lived two towns away in the Valley of Encante. Whenever he saw the dame pass with her father on their butt-drawn cart his heart would do somersaults, his knees would go weak and suddenly breathing became a laborious task. Her long blonde hair flowed like a rich waterfall down her petite frame. Her round wide eyes sparkled beautifully and her rosy cheeks looked like ripe apples in an autumn orchard. He would often see her softly ask her father to stop the cart and let the butt rest while she collected water for the poor beast from the well. On other days she would pick out stones from the hooves of the butt and pet it lovingly. She always smiled as she did this, as if she was a stranger to suffering and strife. It was easy to see why Sneedman had fallen head over heels for the lady who was beautiful on the inside and outside.

Sneedman had turned eighteen and had finally set out to ask for FrozenChosen's hand in marriage. He had never spoken to her and she had never spoken to him but the pain of keeping his love a secret ripped through his insides and made him feel nauseous and upset. So he packed a knapsack consisting of a small lunch, twenty coins of gold and a red handkerchief as well. At dusk he began the long journey from Bethlehem to Encante, thinking that he could escape the heat of the day under the cloak of the night. Walking down the crooked cobblestone roads wearing his best coat, trilby and suspenders, his heart beat fast in anticipation. What was he to say when he arrived at her door? Would he know where to find her? Would she turn away in disgust or fall lovingly in his arms to embrace their new life together? Either way, Sneedman was more than glad that he would finally get this huge weight off his chest.

After a long walk that lasted well until midnight he reached the borders of the town of Encante. He stood on a knoll which afforded him a view of the entire town. The quaint houses crowded together in the darkness, only visible thanks to the pale moonlight. Ahead of him was a thick forest and on the other end of that was the valley containing Encante. His tummy gave a low grumble which made his gut twist into a knot. Sneedman hadn't eaten supper. He sat down on his soft knoll, unfurled his knapsack and decided that it wouldn't hurt to have a little nibble of his lunch. He munched a few delicious sweet biscuits and sipped on his apple juice, taking special care to leave enough for the next day. After subduing the beast of hunger, he thought it too dangerous to try and cross the forest in the night time and chose instead to sleep on the knoll until sunlight returned again. As he laid his head down and let his eyelids fall shut he was disturbed by a tiny voice.

"Do you have a biscuit to share sir?"

Sneedman woke up started! He looked all around but could not find the owner of the disembodied voice.

"Just one sir, I know that greed is a sin."

Sneedman stood up, his head twisting all over. Was he going mad? There was no one around him at all!

"Who are you?" Sneedman yelled, "show yourself now or we shall have to fight. I may be small but I have swift punches. I shall fight you and I shall win."

"A swift punch you say?" replied tiny voice.

"Oh yes and a nasty kick too! Right in the shins I'm known to kick foes," Sneedman replied bravely.

He held his fists up, still trying to find the source of his voice.

"Where are you then, show yourself," Sneedman demanded.

"I'm here."

Well I'm here too so you couldn't possibly be here."

"But I'm here too."

"Can't be. If you were here I would have seen you."

"Fine, have it your way."

"Well then where are you?!"

"I'm there."

"Where?!"

"Here."

"This is a nasty game you are playing. I shan't spare your shins if I ever find you."

Finding himself irritated by the voice, Sneedman packed up his knapsack and reattached it to its stick.

"Halt, you might kill me!" screamed the tiny voice just before Sneedman could rest the knapsack on his shoulders.

It spoke so loudly that Sneedman dropped his knapsack in fright.

"See what you've done now, that's probably my biscuits crushed to crumbs," Sneedman complained.

"All the better, I haven't a large mouth to begin with," the voice replied.

"I am insane?"

"No, just stupid. If you would just turn your head to your right you would see I was here all along."

Sneedman turned his head. There, on his shoulder, was a green little caterpillar.

"So you're the dastardly fiend. I shall flick you off."

"Please don't do that. I might get lost and you might trample me in the grass without seeing me. Just give a biscuit or two and I'll be gone."

"But I'm off to ask my love for her hand in marriage. The remaining biscuits were to please the servants."

"Well they're all crumbs now, they won't be pleasing anyone anymore… except for a caterpillar of course."

Sneedman scratched his head. The caterpillar had a point. With a sigh he opened up his knapsack, scooped up the biscuit crumbs and placed them in front of the caterpillar, which had crawled into the grass by now. Without so much as a thank you the caterpillar began gobbling up the biscuit crumbs greedily.

"Oh slow down. What would your mother say if she saw you eating with such uncouth voracity?"

"Don't care," the greedy caterpillar replied.

"And a rude little caterpillar you are. Didn't even say thank you. I suppose you shall want some juice to go along with that," Sneedman said sardonically.

"Yes, I will."

Sneedman poured out a little juice for the caterpillar but instead the caterpillar crawled into the glass and stayed there!

"Oi! Get out," Sneedman ordered.

"I shant. If I stay in the grass I might be trampled but here I am safe. Don't drink me. I taste bitter and I will infect you from the inside if you swallow me," the naughty caterpillar said.

Fed up, Sneedman chucked the glass in the grass, sealed it shut with the lid and set off. There was no use trying to sleep again, the morning sunrays were already peaking from the horizon, painting the sky in beautiful shades of pink and peach. Sneedman was scared to enter the forest. There had been many stories of marauding creatures in the forest that ate human brains and spread nasty rumours about postmen. It was only his burning desire and love for FrozenChosen that kept him going as he passed the first tree of the forest and entered the darkness.

The forest was so thick barely any sun broke through the canopy of leaves and branches. As he walked he felt wood creek under his feet and heard the terrible grunts of wild pigs. It was all very scary! He walked and walked until high noon where he had to stop. He found a tree stump and thought it as good a place as any to rest. Sneedman wiped his sweaty forehead with his red handkerchief. He panted with tiredness, wondering when this loathsome forest would end. It was then that a cloud of butterflies flew out from the trees, so thick that for a while Sneedman couldn't see anything. Their wings flashed in colours of auburn, red, crimson and yellow. They looked like a fireball shooting through the air. When they dissipated a capybara stood in front of him with beautiful pink fur.

"I must be insane!" Sneedman said, rubbing his eyes.

"No, just disbelieving," the capybara replied.

The capybara had a sweet voice, sort of like a mother.

"I am Aevann, the guardian of the forest. I welcome you to my wonderful paradise," said the capybara with a smile.

"Paradise? This place is terrible what with all the pigs and darkness."

"Hmph, disbelieving. Just like that goat-loving postman. I'll show you," the capybara said.

The capybara shook its head stomped the ground and said a magic incantation. Suddenly a strange wind blew and everything transformed. The leaves of the trees became soft clouds of pink cotton candy, the ground became rich chocolate and the sweet smell of sugar filled the air. Rabbits burrowed out of the ground and tickled Sneedman playfully. Owls came out the trees and hooted a beautiful tune. It truly was a paradise. For hours Sneedman stayed there with Aevann the pink capybara, chasing rabbits and humming along with the owls. When he grew hungry he ate clumps of chocolate from the ground and picked the cotton candy from the trees. It tasted sweeter than anything he had ever tasted. Soon he had forgotten all about his journey and Encante.

"So you see, this forest really is a paradise," the capybara said as they collapsed in tiredness beside a tree.

"Yes it's glorious," Sneedman said as he stuffed his face with clumps of chocolate.

"I knew you'd love it."

Love… Sneedman's memory was jogged! He remembered FrozenChosen. He had to go before nightfall! Suddenly the capybara's fur became an ugly brown and the cotton candy disappeared. Was it all a spell? He looked at the rabbits he had been playing with. They were actually porcupines. His clothes were torn and tattered and he was smarting in several places. He looked up in the trees. The owls were actually ugly crows which squawked in their horrible voices, which meant that… the chocolates were crow droppings! Sneedman spat and dry heaved, escaping from the forest as fast as he could. In his haste he had forgotten his knapsack. Now all he had left was his handkerchief and his ten gold coins.

It was late afternoon and finally he had arrived in Bethlehem. It was a bustling city alive with energetic vendors, gypsies and ringmasters luring visitors to enter their colourful circus tents. Sneedman ignored it all, although he was hopelessly lost and knew not where to find the fair beauty FrozenChosen. Eventually, he resorted to asking one of the ringmasters. He had a white star painted over his right eye and had only two fingers on each hand. This scared Sneedman very much.

"Excuse me sir, I was wondering where I could find FrozenChosen?" Sneedman asked.

"That'll be ten gold coins," the Kaamrev the ringmaster replied with a rough voice, after introducing himself.

"That's ludicrous," Sneedman said.

"If you want to find FrozenChosen you will pay ten gold coins," the ringmaster said.

"I must be insane," Sneedman said as he pulled out the ten gold coins from his pocket.

"No, just gullible.

The ringmaster snatched the gold coins and fled before Sneedman could chase after him. Sneedman swore and cursed at the ringleader but it was no use. He was long gone. Sneedman sat on a curb, distressed and defeated. He began to cry. He was so close to finding his love and yet he had failed. He was heartbroken. He was soon spotted by a police officer who pitied him. Sneedman told him his story and by the end of it the police officer had lost all sympathy.

"You got swindled by a caterpillar and a ringmaster and you ate crow droppings? Hilarious," the policeman said, "you know you could have just asked for help at the police station or at the very least called beforehand instead of arriving at a stranger's home unannounced asking for their daughter's hand in marriage. Nevertheless, the house is the last one down the street. "

Sneedman thanked the policeman and headed down to the house and knocked on the door. FrozenChosen answered. She was just as beautiful as Sneedman remembered her. Her hazel eyes glowed in the setting sun and Sneedman felt his heart beat just a little bit faster. The moment he had been waiting for was finally here.

"FrozenChosen. So much to say, so many words to say them with yet I still find it so hard to express what I'm feeling inside. I love you FrozenChosen. I love you so much. Mere thoughts of you are enough to send my heart racing to have me gasping for air and forgetting about all the suffering in the universe. Your smile encourages me to be a better person. Your laugh reminds me of what bliss is. Your love is what I need. I may not have biscuits or fancy coins for you but what I can provide is love and a promise to be the best man ever for you. FrozenChosen, will you marry me?"

FrozenChosen's eyes glistened with tears. A smile crept upon her face and I'm pretty sure you know what she said!

The two bought a lovely home in Encante, and with her father's blessings, were married within the year. It wasn't long before they had kids of their own and even a few asses to spare! And to this day they keep Sneedman's red handkerchief right at the door of their home, to remind them of the adventure Sneedman took to find the heart of his love.

Now if Sneedman could do all that, what is stopping you?