Been married for 15 years to the love of my life. Absolute best friends. We have built a beautiful life together. Dream home, great jobs, future goals (no kids)...i was one of the lucky ones. The man tells me every day how much he loves me. He's in love with me... and vice versa.
The only negative in our marriage is our s*x life. 100% my fault. He would have s*x 3x per day if I were willing. I've always struggled with low s*x drive... like many women. Then I went through a 2 year bout of depression. We were having s*x about twice per month. He brought it up but was very understanding and supportive.
Ff to this weekend. I opened Instagram and a trans gal was kindly letting me know my best friend and the love of my life was on Grindr looking for hook ups.
Im absolutely devastated. Complete blindside. I feel absolutely foolish. I've been (unknowingly) married to a bisexual man who has been cheating on me for nearly half a decade. Wild.
I confronted him and he admitted everything. Its been going on for 4 years. 15 partners. All oral but one. He says he's ashamed (he's a very macho man in an alpha male workplace with a traditional Christian upbringing) and heartbroken to have hurt me but it spiraled from porn to hookups to 4 years of lies. He says he wants the marriage still but needs to do therapy to get to the bottom of his sexuality. He can never be and will never be open to anyone else about his sexuality ever. I feel for him because I love him. I hate to see him tormented. But he broke me. To pieces.
Im ready to run.... away from my dream life/lie and the man im still madly in love with.
How can i trust this man with my heart again when he's lied and cheated for years and has led a double life? Would i be even more of a fool?
Leave. His. Butt. 
If he was struggling with his sexuality and the state of your s*x life so much he should have been talking to you. Telling you what he needed and having open communication. That's what a partner who loves and cares for you does. Instead, he lied to your face for 4 years and you didn't find out because the guilt was eating him alive, you found out because someone else told you and he got caught. If he didn't get caught, how long would he have kept this up? At 4 years strong I don't think he had any plans in stopping. I'd be done and getting an STD check asap. Honestly for me it's less about the cheating (which in and of itself is completely horrible) and more about the constant day to day choice to do this to you. Think of how many times he had to lie straight to your face to go off with whoever. How many times did he pass up spending time with you? How many times did he need to actively lie to you? Every single time he did any of that, he was making a conscious choice to do so. You deserve to be truly loved and cared for and your husband is a piece of shit for looking you in the eyes and telling you he loves you and then fricking other people for 4 years.
never her fault tbh u dont owe ANYONE s*x ESPECIALLY your spouse
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The foid cries out it pain once the roles are reversed for a change.
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