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Client confessed love for me and then ended their life : therapists [EDIT: SHE WAS ALSO IN LOVE WITH HIM???]

https://old.reddit.com/r/therapists/comments/1h85cmq/client_confessed_love_for_me_and_then_ended_their/

								

								

Client confessed love for me and then ended their life

Tragic, tragic, heartbreaking loss. Won't go into any details to protect client privacy, but it's hard to swallow. Would be so grateful for any resources, groups, or advice as I grieve.

I've canceled most of my sessions for the week, but have kept a few. My backlogged notes for other clients are creating some anxiety. What a rollercoaster.

The most captivating client I've worked with to date, and they continue to be so even in their death. Grateful to have known them.

Update: Unbelievably thankful for the outpouring of support. It's been incredibly helpful to read and utilize ❀️ Very unfortunately I just got news of a second client passing. Two in the same week. This one was not by suicide.

Edit:

Erotic Countertransference

Looking for personal experiences navigating romantic/erotic countertransference (especially that in response to erotic transference)... I'm seeking supervision and being mindful about how I'm showing up with this client, but I'd love if anyone would be open to sharing more about their own experiences with this, and what the ultimate outcome was for you. Interestingly, this client has expressed their own attraction to me, and we're working through it/making use of it in our work together. They are not aware of my feelings beyond the genuine care I have for them. My framework leans relational psychodynamic for reference.

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The most captivating client I've worked with to date, and they continue to be so even in their death. Grateful to have known them.

Eccentricmaxximg and suicidemaxxing always makes b-words love you.

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Female therapists are also primed emotionally/mentally for these situations. Notice how the erotic countertransference thread is littered with women saying Prince of Tides "gives them the ick," then in the same breath saying "but I wish my therapist had fricked me"?

Not at all uncommon for folks dealing w big scary issues to sexualize the therapist. I did when I was a client. My therapist at the time did not follow up on it but I wish he had. I had some big baggage I was avoiding by fantasizing about him (reason #580 why I HATE part in the movie and book The Prince of Tides where after telling the shrink his big, and it was big, trauma, she soothes him and they sleep together!!! Yuck!) That's why we are safe people for clients to process those feelings bc we will not exploit them!

This is how the 32-year-old woman who just got her PhD and is there to "process your feelings" sees the world. It really exposes their whole industry when you just ask the individual "care providers" simple questions like "should I frick my patient?", and the response they get is "well, it's brave for you to admit you want to."

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