https://old.reddit.com/r/AMA/comments/1hudaek/im_a_woman_that_infiltrated_an_incel_community_ama/

Most Based Comments

Basedness: 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔘

You say that you asked some about their home lives and why they feel the way they do. Could you tell us a bit about what home life these guys had, and their apparent reasons for feeling the way they do? (387)

Basedness: 🔥🔥🔥🔘🔘

What are the few wild things you saw? (136)

Basedness: 🔥🔥🔥🔘🔘

How did they take it when you admitted to being a woman? (178)

Angriest Comments

Angriness: 😡😡😡😡😡

Have you never been to a women's space online? Like pretty much every large gendered space features plenty of this and women's subreddits are no exception.There are even femcels and their own equivalent of MGTOW. (6)

I agree that both genders are capable of this behavior and behave and feel these ways. However, men are the ones doing it enough and with enough power to create the terms for themselves that we all know. Women aren't lining up to hate-frick or otherwise unconscious men or coworkers. Women are not the majority of people setting people on fire in public. Men by majority have the Groomercords, the known terms and spaces, and the power and urge to turn their thoughts into physical violence that costs more women their lives than the reverse demographic. I do not believe for a second that the two are equal in their readiness to travel down the absolute hatred pipeline. Women by and large are taught societally to harm/reframe/control themselves to protect or dictate others' feelings/community and men are taught to harm/reframe/control others to protect or contro their own feelings and individual community, whatever "community" might be to both of them.So I think everyone has trauma, but women h... (2)

Angriness: 😡😡😡😡😡

This is valid. I agree actually; some men will act like buttholes for those reasons. And after rereading my original comment, I think I came off a little too strongly on the "men can't be irrationally sexist" opinion. However, the comment I replied to by the op said that incels who were specifically abused by women were at fault for not processing the trauma correctly. There is some truth to that statement; the fact that they're women is largely irrelevant compared to the fact that they're buttholes, but either way it's not their fault that the human mind is often flawed when it comes to processing trauma, making them associate that abuse with other women. It is absolutely the fault of the women and not of the men being abused, and to think otherwise is victim blaming (1)

I was abused in my own home as a child (by a male) and I agree entirely that it is on the survivor to heal. Who else will heal for them but themselves? I healed because it was my duty to. You can recognize it isn't your fault, and still understand it is your responsibility now. We have to evolve or repeat. It isn't my fault men hurt me. It is 110% THEIR fault for harming me. But, the difference between me & these incels is that… I recognize my abuser could've, by chance, been a woman, or I could been born male, had I been dealt a different hand… but it would still be my responsibility to heal. Again, who else's could it be?I also had to realize that it wasn't MEN who hurt me. It was that the people who hurt me were male. I was caging myself in a prison. I made every man a potential enemy. It was harming me more to believe 50% of people were abusive (or wanted to be abusive), than it would harm me to just fricking heal and accept that my abusers could've been male, female, black, whit... (2)

Angriness: 😡😡😡😡😡

I'm sorry but "choosing the bear" is not comparable to saying it's okay to r*pe kids. Glad you haven't been in enough incel spaces to hear that though. (9)

That's true, but I don't believe that happens naturally through someone being a bloke. I think it's a bit of a vicious cycle, obviously maintained by a patriarchal society, where extreme misogynists have disallowed young people from being able to express their hurt healthily like women can. When a woman is hurt and says I hate men, normal women can say That's okay, I understand. Let's have time for us to help you. They can work through the emotion of it. But due to these incel extremist types, if I or many normal men hear "I'm hurt and I hate women" it's too dangerous to just let them feel it and care for them through the resentments.. who knows if they're one of them nutters already or not? However, the hyper misogynist incels will take them in and actually build upon the hate instead of helping work through it. They normalise violence and murderous hate instead. It's almost funny, but not really, how if those who are so angry that men can't express those feelings just pissed off w... (10)