47 M boyfriend may be gay, bi, or not letting me in on his fetish? Future husband material for me 40 F but is the mystery worth waiting for? - /r/relationshipadvice

I've been with my boyfriend for almost 5 years. We've had a great relationship, loving, caring for each other, planning our future together, just all around a great relationship. We help each other through everything, get through our struggles together, and are always each other's support system. I noticed the discussions on the future have slowed down, he makes up excuses why we can't start living in one place together, never brings up the future on his own just me, and seemed to be pulling away a bit two summers ago. During that time, I needed to get something from his bathroom, and I found a bag of mens and women's thongs one day. He never wore thongs around me nor liked them per conversation. I thought maybe they were things from his ex left behind from years ago and forgot about it. Over time, I've found items around his house: more men's sexual thongs, underwear and "pegging" panties, more women's underwear, dildos, anon mask, and most recently a new dildo with lacy blue underwear for men. I'm starting to get worried he's hiding his sexuality from me or is this just a fetish he's embarrassed to share with me? I tried to bring it up if he wanted more bedroom fun, enjoyed my underwear, anything to bring it up without blurting it out. He gets uncomfortable and says he isn't into anything just me. I'm at a point where I'm not sure this is how I want to spend my life with someone hiding like this. I'm starting to wonder if he's gay and not ready to come out? He is very homophobic and against transgenders, which normally is a sign of hiding. What can I do to bring this up in a more direct way?

!moidmoment