[MEGATHREAD] SNAPPY QUOTES MEGATHREAD SUGGEST NEW SNAPPY QUOTES HERE

Luckily, I try to prep for every possible self defense situation that could reasonably come up in a day to day scenario, and this is one of the battle scenarios I drill for on a weekly basis.

Whenever I leave the house I cover myself in copious amounts of lotion and Vaseline in order to skinmaxx and privilegemaxx. This also allows me to break free of grapples easier. Next, 4 hours before leaving my house I'll usually ingest about 50mg of chocolate laxatives before inserting my squat plug as my daily Carry. I always keep my butthole loaded, but on safety hence the squat plug to prevent a negligent discharge.

In this scenario, the women attempting to steal my innocence and purity would be unable to grab me and hold me down. If the lotion and Vaseline dries up, I can remove my squat plug and fire a few rounds, taking out a few of the women and replenishing the lubrication in a 5 foot radius. I'll then put my weapon back on safe and wait to reload in the fetal position from the safety of my shit swamp that I have just created. Rinse and repeat until all threats are neutralized, and I can continue about my day knowing that the threats are over, as I'm already covered in shit and Vaseline.