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Converted to Islam for him, then we split. Feeling lost and alone.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/relationships/5261327-converted-to-islam-for-him-then-we-split-feeling-lost-and-alone
No idea what I'm expecting here in terms of advice tbh.

I was involved with a man who I regarded as my soulmate, things were looking serious. We talked about marriage and the future.

He was from a Muslim background in the Middle East. I'd always been interested in his religion (Islam) and had been studying it. After a couple of years with him, I took the step of converting. Everyone in my family and friends were supportive as they knew it was my choice. There was never any pressure from him.

After converting, we scaled back on the physical side of things and both said it would be best to get married. I was all for this, loved him to bits and wanted my life with him and believed he felt the time.

Unfortunately, his parents back home in his native country had other ideas and wanted an arranged marriage to someone of their choice... After months of trying to make them see reason, he wasn't strong enough to stand by me. So I ended our relationship as I could see it was going to end in tears.

I feel so alone in Islam now. I live in a small semi rural area with no mosque, no community to speak of and I've been shying away from wanting to move on. I feel at a crossroads. There's no chance of meeting a Muslim man here. I feel so lost without him, although I feel ending it with him was the right thing to do as he'd never go against his parents' wishes. Even though he was almost 30 and well-educated.


I'm no so much looking for a husband.. It will take me a long time to get over losing him. He was the first man I ever really loved and imagined a life with. I'm just feeling a bit isolated in terms of being "the only Muslim in the village" so to speak. It's a small and very "white", middle-class community. My ex and I met at uni in a big city, where it's more common to see other Muslims and different nationalities.

I'm feeling so many different things, feel like he's thrown me under the bus. I made so much effort and sacrifice for him, changed my whole way of life and even aspects of my diet and appearance. Yet he couldn't even just stand up for me (with his parents) when it mattered. He claimed to be in love with me (I was his first), yet didn't feel able to have any firm discussion with his parents about marrying me and going through with it.

I feel that being Muslim, this would put non-Muslim men totally off me. Especially with all the negativity around the religion in the media and so on. I don't even have anyone to do Ramadan with, or even talk about the religion.

tfw only muslim in the village :marseyniqab:

also he absolutely knew he was eventually going to marry someone else, but as she said, they were engaging in the 'physical side of things' and moids will be moids if you let them do that

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A big dowry will have been paid "back home* to his family from another.

Essentially one family has paid another family a lot of money to get their daughter to a western country.

:#marseyxd: :#marseytruthnuke:

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