When we interact with life, we should do so with genuine hearts.

And in my heart there is COOM.

I am a HEDONIST. ALL IS NOTHING COMPARED TO MY GLORIOUS COOM.

If cooming has billions of fans (it does), then I am one of them. If there are only ten coomers, then I am one of them. If there is but one coomer, then that is me. If there are no coomers, then that means I am no longer on Earth. If the world is against cooming, then I am against the world.

If think about it, cumming is literally the PERFECT hobby. You don't need anybody else to do it. You don't need any "thing" else. You don't even need your clothes. It's just you and your body and coom. It's like a connection with god. Maximalism through minimalism, or vice versa.

I coom to genocides and abuse neighbor I desecrate the sacred. I blaspheme and spit when I coom then I coom some more. I'm an untrollable maniac if we're talking about the C*M scale hard peepee BBC porn human trafficking nigguh I corrupt the next generation by spreading drugs and STDs all around them.

You don't know what's made me coom so don't try me. This new generation of coomers annoy me. My generation is the one of true SOULFUL gooning. Everything else is just an imitation. Real shit, you think it would be a good business to open up a longue where I don't sell any drugs or alcohol, just provide calm music, chilled water, and a table where distinguished folks can talk about the finer aspects of gooning. What stroke you use, what new kink you've developed, if you're sick of one kink just keep GOONING until a new fetish lights your fire. TRUST THE PROCESS.

And you'll have some of the most amazing cooms imaginable

And to the admins of this shithole site: Yes this is an effortpost because you best believe I was gooning HARD when I wrote this. Headset on, "open video in smaller tab" shit nigguh I took my fricking shirt and pants off for this shit, we don't take half measures when it comes to gooning. I'm trying to start a C*M gang, you interested in signing up?

I GOON when reading the Bible

I GOON when I'm eating

I GOON when I'm on the phone

I GOON whenever I have even a vague sexual thought or my hand happens to brush upon my peepee. That's enough to derail my entire day with just coom. As you can imagine, it gets hard to deal with all the laundry when you COOM so much but I've learned to just keep a lot of towels lying around the house. Goon and wipe yourself as you see fit.

By the end of my reign, you'll be calling me Satan's Nightmare.