How many of you break the law just to goon? It aint a new thang! The old heads would break the law all the time just to goon! Aight, sheeit imma hit ya'll off with a quick lesson on masturbation. You see, none of the GOONERS can agree on where gooning originated and how some GOONING became illegal and some didn't. Sheeit, some of our GOONERS are Christians and according to them, God HATES gooners. As proof, they point to the story of Onan. That's a real deep cut there nigguh get your googles on that shit for real. That dude was the first to say yo FRICK GOD I DON'T WANT GUSSY because GOONING is better.
Folks like me, we goon hard but we ain't Christians. I'm not tryna read an old book unless its a sticky playboy ya heard me? in my set we believe that true gooning as we enjoy it today originated with De Sade. Now that motherlover figured out that all these laws, morality, and modesty is bullshit. It's all about GOONING NON-STOP to COMPLETELY ABHORRENT shit. Check this shit out, this gentleman GOONED so hard the FEDS said ENOUGH FUN and they charged him with pornography, s*x crimes, and blasphemy. He said I ain't gonna stop COOMING this is what I believe in to the bottom of my heart I die for this goon shit. I didn't even mention that this KING had royal ancestry. They arrested him many times and he just kept getting out. He gooned so hard FEDS were trying to KILL him.
They aint kill him though. My gooners, we look up to De Sade. We stay in that evil shit bruh we know that the best cooms come from the worst filth imaginable
- Virgin vulva in a monogamous marriage making consentual and thoughtful love to each other?
NO. I HATE THAT SHIT NIGGUH.
De Sade is a real G for us gooners. If you don't understand then maybe you're not a REAL GOONER and we don't want no FAKE GOONERS on our set so you best get going. Before he left, he wrote the best filth ever. Shit goes so hard, it has GOONER scholars decoding it in modern day. Sheeeit. This GENIUS left behind the whole blueprint for HARDCORE GOON ADDICTS.
Now there's one more set I wanna talk about and that's the EVOLUTIONARY BIOLOGISTS. Sheeit, I don't really frick with these BIPOCs. They be using science and shit to trace back the origins of COOMING in humans and the psychological underpinnings of GOONING in our shared human ancestry. Because it's crazy, cultures around the world, completely disconnected across space and time, and we all GOON hard.
Some of us gooners, sheeit when we're not out there selling COOMpacks on Whatsapp/Telegram, we look up at the stars and wonder... do aliens coom? If they do then maybe this goon shit goes back further than human history. Maybe it was passed down to us from ancient galactic beings. And it's our duty to pass on the gift of GOONING to the next generation and get them hooked on TORRENTED PORN, USED TAMPONS, and UNSAFE S*X.
But this post isn't about all the sets. It's about one young man who had the courage to stand against society and GOON. That man is me. Sheeit when I started gooning I was just a YB aint got shit going on for me in life except weak butt shit like college, caring parents, and goals and aspirations. Then I discovered GOONING and I realised actually I aint tryna hear all that shit. I was put on this Earth to GOON.
WOMEN TRY TO STOP ME FROM COOMING BUT THEY CAN'T.
I want pain, faeces, and rotten, cut-open torsos that I coom into. But back when I was a wee young lad I didn't have TERABYTES of COOMpacks (DM me for details). So sheeit I did what's called the dictionary game. I would look up naughty words in a physical dictionary, read that filth, and GOON hard.
It's the best way to goon. You don't need:
Clothes
Lube
Internet
Electricity
A mobile device or electronic gadgets
You just need a dictionary and your hand. Just keeping gooning boys. The promised land is almost here.
THEY NOT LIKE US.
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Taking sexual inspiration from a libertarian child torturer is always a good sign.
This is a very good gimmick and I hope you keep it up.
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