https://old.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1ihiwm7/aitah_for_changing_my_mind_on_wanting_kids_and/

Most Based Comments

Basedness: 🔥🔥🔥🔘🔘

Immediate family? No. The only other sibling is his sister and she's 20-ish. She does baby sit in fairness to her. Widening net to cousins etc none stepped forward. They definitely are there on my wife's side at least. Not sure about his side. (1595)

What about the parents? (96)

Basedness: 🔥🔥🔥🔘🔘

I did that with another story the other day and I got the same thing 💀 Dead internet is looking really real rn (1294)

Are we the orphans of the dead internet? Who will care for us? (561)

Basedness: 🔥🔥🔘🔘🔘

NAH. It's a devastatingly sad situation but your wife is doing what's best for her and you're doing what's best for the children. I can't get my head round your wife saying no either BUT she's not an AH for it. Some people really don't want kids and that's their right. Unfortunately, you may have to choose between them. (323)

I'd have to chose my wife. I wouldnt consider her an AH either but I'm just very surprised and still disappointed.Edit: I don't see how I'm being downmarseyd. She's my wife. Weve been together since we were kids. I wouldnt be happy with it but the kids are not the only ones grieving. I made vows to my wife. (-82)

Angriest Comments

Angriness: 😡😡😡😡😡

This is the correct response. You have not been an butthole. it's a tragic situation that said, she is not wrong either.This will most likely end your marriage and it's a tough spot you have to choose. She made it clear upfront her view of her life. You agreed to that view. Your view changed hers didn't. So you either go back to the lines you both drew together or get ready to start drawing lines without her. She's not wrong or a bad person for this. If you choose her you have to do it under the pretense you can never resent her for this. Can you do that? If you chose the kids and your marriage ends, would you ever resent the kids? There is not an option here that is not going to leave you with massive "what if" questions. Only you can decide what's most important. You are not the butthole unless you resent your decision and others suffer for it. She's not the butthole cause she is just keeping her word about what her life view is. There's nothing wrong with that.Edit due to the 100+ r... (795)

While he's definitely not the butthole, she definitely is wrong. These children are her family, of course she has an obligation to take them in when this tragedy occurs. Modern society is all about "muh rights" but we've forgotten all about our duties and responsibilities.You have a duty to your family. Even if you aren't religious and view them as disposable, you should want to take them in simply for harm reduction. The harm and negative outcomes for older children going into foster care/state placement are demonstrable and horrible. They'll be (likely) split up. They'll be (likely) abused. They'll be far more likely to fall into addictions, crime, they'll have lower lifetime earnings, less stable homes of their own (if they even have families), etc. Every single metric is worse.It'd be one thing if they did not have the means to care for the children (although it'd have to be an extremely bad financial circumstance to make keeping them worse than abandoning them to whatever the st... (1)

Angriness: 😡😡😡😡😡

Just because she doesn't want to do want you and op wants her to, doesn't make her a bad person. A bad person, is trying to force your beliefs onto others then, slandering them when they refuses. (1)

Um letting your dead sister's children fall into neglect and abuse in the foster system because you're too selfish to step up does make you a bad person. That's what being a bad person is. It's literally being so selfish that you make orphans homeless. This behavior and thought process should be shamed and ridiculed. It's the reason society sucks now, everyone only gives a shit about their own convenience and not about being a decent person. You will never convince me that being so far up your own butt that you refuse to care for those that have no one except you is a good thing. (-1)

Angriness: 😡😡😡😡😡

ohhh i ws about to type sorry she would leave you if something happened to you as she lacks empathy and saw he said has standing her and Shes a good women. Mans got np clue hes married to someone with a personality disorder. Oh well i guess unless they end up im the system they are better of or maybe still would be cos that shits pathological and one day has going o look back and hate himself. took a twist tbh i was waiting to read he didn't want them. Its a shame people refuse to believe there are woman monsters too. Don't even feel bad for him those aren't red flags they are giant speakers screaming narcissistic personality disorder. if you red this mate, she might change her mind cos she will know she's crossed a big line but if she does yu need to educate yourself on Narcistic child abuse cos that that will happen and you'll need to educate yourself on you to not become complicit either by ignoring it or joining in, you have no idea what you live with in all Honesty nukes you c... (1)