Dad suddenly finds time to take care of the kids now that he's got a new mistress

He has gone from the kids being boring, every being boring, taking them to the park being boring. Never coming in family holidays as they were boring to currently bring on a £10,000 skiing holiday with the kids and his mistress / girlfriend. She has no kids, 10 years younger etc.

I know it's great the kids get to go but what a transformation! From a man who had never picked them up from school or attended parents evening, he can now confidently take 3 kids to another country skiing. All range of abilities and ages.

Just miffed I didn't get this husband and I got the one who couldn't even do a family walk as it was also 'boring'.

How long does the Disney Dad effect last? Or is this what he could have always been and I accepted the minimum?

So the real story will be that he's gone from a depressing life and depressing wife to someone who makes him feel happy and alive and now finds the motivation to look after himself and his family. But let's see how mumsnet interprets the situation.

Yeah, or gets her sufficiently locked in through a shared mortgage or similar that she can't easily shed him.

>pretending to be a good partner until it's difficult for them to leave and then switching it off

Apparently he's now "in a better place" to spend time with them. It's a shame mums just have to parent from the start, isn't it - we can't wait to "be in the right place" when our oldest child is 9 and a lot easier to look after. These men make me sick. I am just hoping the children can see through it.

Currently dealing with a similar situation @ThisQuickPlumFinch so I sympathise. It won't last forever, and your kids will probably see it for what it really is at the same time as enjoying the adventure. Mine do.

>oh plz oh plz start hating your father so I can feel better about myself

To balance some of the man-bashing on this thread, I'm a woman who was married to a woman, who also did nothing around the house or by way of childcare in our marriage. After she had an affair and left me she suddenly became able to do school pick ups at 3pm and take random days off at no notice to cover child's sick days etc. Yes it's hurtful that they couldn't or wouldn't do these things whilst married to you, but it's better for the kids to have 2 involved parents and that's the only sensible way to think about it in my view. The alternative achieves nothing other than bitterness and resentment (which affects the kids)

based lesbians showing some empathy for men through the shared misfortune of having to date women

I agree with it being an act. He probably wants to look like a good dad in front of his partner, maybe she is helping out too.

He's showing off, she's playing house. It won't last.

funny that foids do to interpret everything they don't like as a social performance

I really enjoyed these holidays with my Dad. It wasn't a Disney Dad effect (how horrid - no one calls you a Disney Mum when you take your kids on a holiday). It sounds like your ExH is happier now (you were clearly not a good match for each other), that's great for him and the kids. You should just focus on you trying to be happy, rather than bitter that ExH is happier now, and a better parent on his own. It's sad for you, but no need to take it personally - you just weren't a good couple together. That's OK!

but not everyone ITT is an r-slur and some suggest that spending your whole life in some neurotic seethe about an ex is probably not a good use of energy