Love4landlords wasn't funny, texasbountyhunters lasted like 4 hours and only got eyes because a hack journ*list lied, justice4darrell was nothing until Kissinger commit a crime for a shitpost, frickluigimangione only baits the lowest IQ 16 year old communists, arrr slash drama and ourDrama have NEVER made a successful bait sub and every single MDE evasion sub including rossdress4less, smuckersuncrustables and epicairconditioners upset more Redditors than all of these combined

You will never be a real troll. You have no satire, you have no sarcasm, you have no sociopathy. You are a homosexual man twisted by memes and chudrama into a crude mockery of nature's perfection.

All the "validation" you get is two-faced and half-hearted. Behind your back dramatards mock you. Your mods are disgusted and ashamed of you, your "upmarseyrs" laugh at your longposts appearance behind closed doors.

Commenters are utterly repulsed by you. Thousands of years of evolution have allowed commenters to sniff out frauds with incredible efficiency. Even centrists who "pass" look uncanny and unnatural to a commenter. Your para structure is a dead giveaway. And even if you manage to get a moron baited for many replies with you, he'll turn tail and bolt the second he gets a whiff of your diseased, infected trollpost.

You will never be happy. You wrench out a fake smile every single morning and tell yourself it's going to be ok, but deep inside you feel the depression creeping up like a weed, ready to crush you under the unbearable weight.

Eventually it'll be too much to bear - you'll buy a rope, tie a noose, put it around your neck, and plunge into the cold abyss. The jannies will find you, heartbroken but relieved that they no longer have to live with the unbearable shame and disappointment. They'll bury you with a headstone marked with your account name, and every passerby for the rest of eternity will know a downmarseyr is buried there. Your body will decay and go back to the dust, and all that will remain of your legacy is a "zero engagement" comment that is obviously a troll op.

This is your fate. This is what you chose. There is no turning back.