This is a followup to my previous effortpost on the same subject to give an update on new developments and fill in some gaps pointed out by readers. There's so many this time that I have a glossary below if you're getting confused.
The Verdict
The Court of Arbitration for Sport (CAS) ruled that despite testing positive for the banned doping drug trimetazidine, 15-year old girlboss Kamila Valieva will be allowed to keep skating in the individual women's event as if nothing happened. After a full formal investigation, she may be stripped of whatever she won at the Olympics but that could take months. The IOC is refusing to hand out any medals to her until that is resolved, so we won't see anyone on the podium for the team and women's events.
Trimetazidine
It's a drug used to treat chest pain in certain people with heart problems. Apparently it's prescribed sometimes in Europe but it's not approved for use in the USA. Where you do find it commonly used is in doping. I don't pretend to understand the details of how it works, but what's important here is that it helps athletes recover from exercise faster, so it's believed to be one of the reasons why Team Tutberidze are able to practice so much more in a day than other skaters.
It was banned by WADA in 2014 and athletes from a variety of countries and sports, especially swimming, have been caught since then. Some drugs are allowed if you get a Therapeutic Use Exemption ahead of time for a legitimate medical need, but trimetazidine is completely banned.
Copes
A number of copes have been deployed to excuse or mitigate Valieva's drug use:
The CAS's reasoning is that we have to wait for a full investigation because in theory she could turn out to be innocent. The rules are clear that this is absolutely not the case, if you fail a drug test you're automatically suspended. But the three sleazy lawyers making the decision said she's a child and it would do "irreparable harm" to her, so the rules don't apply to her.
The CAS's other excuse is that Valieva hasn't had time to prepare a defense because this failed test just appeared so suddenly. Again, this is against the rules but CAS says she gets special protections for being a child. It feeds into the narrative that there was a conspiracy to hold on to the dirty piss and drop it at just the right moment to humiliate the Russians. We've had a very interesting development on that front. WADA now says the reason why it was tested so late is because the Russians failed to mark it for expedited processing like they're supposed to with the best skater in the world just before the Olympics. Apparently they were hoping that if she pissed dirty, it wouldn't be discovered until after the Olympics were over. RUSADA claims that they marked it properly and WADA is lying.
Actual footage of Russian anti-doping officials.
Inside Russia there has been an attempt to claim Valieva is innocent, because even Russians aren't quite shameless enough to hold her up as a national heroine while admitting that she cheated. Unfortunately it's pretty hard to come up with any scenario other than doping. The best they've done is to say that her grandfather takes trimetazidine and maybe they both drank water out of the same glass and somehow that was enough to make alarm bells go off on the piss testing machine.
There's been some cope about how maybe trimetazidine doesn't work. Some dumbass interviewed by the New York Times had this opinion. Sure, you know more about doping than the doctors running the Russian doping program. It also is completely irrelevant. They knowingly gave the kid a drug on the blacklist. And even if this one drug didn't work, we know they do all kinds of stuff that's untraceable that does work, like inhaling air mixed with xenon.
"But bro, like, it's a sport, everyone is juicing." This is an attitude I've seen a lot from normies who don't follow figure skating. It really doesn't apply here. The three Russian girls are so far ahead of all the others that there's no competition. It's like if in the Tour de France there was the nard cancer guy and two other Americans out miles ahead of everyone else year after year. And you can also tell nobody else is doing what the Russians do, because their skaters can keep going well into their 20s, long past the Eteri expiration date.
This 19-year old retired Russian figure skater suffers from anorexia now and refuses to eat anything except salt. Many such cases!
Reactions
Tara Lipinsky and Johnny Weir, hosts for figure skating on American coverage of the Olympics, came out firmly against the CAS's decision. Given that Weir has long and deep ties to Russian skating, it's remarkable that he didn't do anything to downplay how severe the issue is. He'll probably lose friends and career opportunities over this, so good for him not trying to weasel his way out of choosing a side.
The international reaction has been what you might expect. Everyone in the Free World is against the CAS decision, most notably Kim Yuna, the last to win gold under conditions that weren't extremely sus. Fans are in an uproar and debating whether the other female skaters should boycott in protest. The only exception is China, where apparently they support the principle of nobody having to face consequences for cheating.
Kim Yuna, not just the "nation's little sister" but beloved around the world.
Oh yeah and I almost forgot, some runner who got busted for weed came up with a way of looking at this: "The only difference I see is Iβm a black young lady." Half of the news coverage in Burgerstan was actually about this.
Chimpouts
Most of the good stuff is probably on Instagram but I don't have an account and it's getting late. So let's check Twitter:
https://x.com/madonnasworld/status/1493227419238600707#m - Vendor of crappy Madonna merchandise goes to war with "jealous" Tara Lipinsky's army of followers.
https://x.com/AlexandrLipatov/status/1493301710676242438#r - Evan Lysacek still living rent free in this Russian's head 12 years after his controversial win over Plushenko. There's about 10 more of these.
https://x.com/NFKingsPro/status/1493182474821988352#m - Not drama, just Yevgeny Plushenko (one of the top male skaters 2006-2014) is selling an NFT.
Reddit hot takes:
https://old.reddit.com/r/FigureSkating/comments/ss38hf/2022_olympic_winter_games_kamila_valieva_will_be/hwyzdm3/ - Putin put drugs in her piss as a 4D chess move.
https://old.reddit.com/r/FigureSkating/comments/ss38hf/2022_olympic_winter_games_kamila_valieva_will_be/hwvrr10/ - Big if true.
https://old.reddit.com/r/FigureSkating/comments/ss38hf/2022_olympic_winter_games_kamila_valieva_will_be/hww0spe/ - Is Kamila being too smug?
Glossary
- IOC - International Olympic Committee - In charge of the Olympics as a whole.
- ISU - International Skating Union - Runs international skating competition. Chosen by the IOC to run skating at the Olympics.
- WADA - World Anti-Doping Agency - Coordinates international anti-doping efforts.
- RUSADA - Russian Anti-Doping Agency - In theory enforces anti-doping regulations inside Russia. In practice, it researches and advises Russian athletes on how to dope and not get caught.
- ITA - International Testing Authority - Chosen by the IOC to run anti-doping operations at the Olympics.
- CAS - Court of Arbitration for Sport - A body independent of the IOC that serves as arbitrator in disputes like this.
Links
Youtube channel TheSkatingLesson's series As the Blade Turns - My most important source, goes into a lot of depth.
Sports Illustrated Explains why this is such a big deal.
IOC has effectively cleared the way for Russia to cheat forever - Explains just how blatant the cheating is.
Russia pointing fingers at Sweden
Adam Rippon on Therapeutic Use Exemptions
I'm really not making up the sharing a glass with grandpa thing
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
An addition: the grandfather cope story is particularly hilarious because trimetazidine is only sold in capsules and membrane-covered tablets that dissolve in the stomach so the only way Valieva could have been exposed to the drug is if she literally ate her grandfather's vomit.
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
I'm not 100% sure that the Russians really are claiming that or if it's just a joke that I misinterpreted. But I haven't heard the Russians come up with a better excuse and it wouldn't be a proper dramapost without some misinformation.
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
I also had doubts yesterday because at that point the only source was Khodorkovsky's Dossier Center but today there are 100+ articles in Russian federal media claiming this is real. Even an IOC executive board member Denis Oswald agreed with it (though the IOC later said he just repeated what he saw in the media). I think the grandpa story originated with Valieva's mom at RUSADA's hearing on Feb 9th.
Best sports shitshow I've seen in years and I thought the unapologetic Chinese cheating at short track would be peak Olympics this year.
https://www.nytimes.com/2022/02/15/sports/olympics/olympic-committee-russian-figure-skater.html
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
They might as well just say "She's innocent because frick you." Let me know you if you see anything especially spicy in Russian. I imagine that's where the most drama is.
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
Surprisingly the official Russian media has been pretty reserved about the situation. Sure, they're trying to push the grandpa story but they're only doing it so hard because of Oswald's acknowledgement of it. Foreign validation is one of the most common ways that Russian media tries to make a claim legitimate to Russians (they're almost as attention hungry as ). At least they're not denying the test happened. I should probably make an effortpost one day discussing all the former KGB tricks they use next time something dramatic happens in Russia.
The real schizoposts are on Twitter, like the one about spilling 100 liters of blood for every tear Valieva shed I told about yesterday. I don't have an account though so it's annoying to navigate and the real seething has calmed down for the most part but there were plenty of comments on how the entire world is conspiring against Russia and how CAS would inevitably block Valieva from performing because "the judges were from NATO countries". That backfired but of course everyone ignored it.
In other news, former biathlete and 2-time Olympic gold medalist Dmitry Vasilyev seethed hard today about Norwegians destroying everyone in biathlon and called them "asthmatics with needles poking out of their pockets". The Norwegian asthma medication drama has been going on for a while but it makes Russians especially mad since we're really invested in biathlon and it's probably the 3rd most popular Winter Olympics sport here after figure skating and skiing.
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
You had a chance to not be completely worthless, but it looks like you threw it away. At least you're consistent.
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
More options
Context
I haven't even heard about this yet, probably because nobody cares about biathlon in America. We've been blessed with so much drama in these games.
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
Even redditors made fun of Norwaycels 4 years ago.
https://old.reddit.com/r/europe/comments/7zh2qo/70_of_norwegian_olympic_skiing_medals_won_by/
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
More options
Context
More options
Context
More options
Context
More options
Context
More options
Context
More options
Context
More options
Context