Serial Serious Replyer I recently got some mild power at work.
Nothing big, just some new responsibilities that have now put me in the targeting reticles of the 
s working from home because now I'm some sort of liason for a small team.
This remote work shit has to stop.
I don't know what part of their culture has taught them that this is acceptable, but they wield the pinging feature on teams with more power than even /r/drama at its most cavalier. I don't think they even know what my job is, they'll ping me simply for existing in (getting forcefully added to) a group chat and ask me to do things that not only do I not have the power to do, but is not even part of my department. Sometimes they'll ping me for something that they're own department should be doing. I haven't talked to any of them in my life. But I can't stop hearing the ping in my headphones, they'll do it at all hours of the night, they'll do it while I'm in other calls.
They'll be a superpower by 2025 solely by pinging the UN until they give them a spot on the security council just to shut them up.
Its actually funny but I genuinely can't comprehend what taught them to behave like this lmao. I want remote work to stop just so they're forced to come over to my desk (if they even know who I am and where I sit) and face me with courage.
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SIR PLEASE RESPOND TO THE PING SIR
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Can you join the zoom call?
Need your support here..
Can you please check this? ๐
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You forgot a "sir" buddy.
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kindly revert back. best regards sir.
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people of curry:
Helloings sirr! Good morning 
LongNose:
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I cry not because I have to deal with them but rather because they're trying to schedule something in a few hours and its already 2:30pm for me and they dont understand the concept of time zones
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I have explicit permission to ignore them after a certain time and I derive great pleasure from them asking me why I wasnt in the office before 11am for the meeting they scheduled without my knowledge.
But yet they lack the pavlovian response mechanism to understand why this happened and learn from it, choosing rather to repeat the process and subject themselves to irritation at me each time
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TYPE TYPE TYPE
(sends inane message to every single contact on teams)
TYPE TYPE TYPE
"Sir, I do not know what you mean by productivity complaint. As you can refer to in the recording, I am busy and productive working with support messages all hours that I am on the clock."
"Yes, yes, I am referring to the recording you are very busy at work and see that there is not a problem here. Carry on."
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You did a very good job making the meaning of this comment just barely decipherable that I think I know whats going on but also doubt myself and feel like i should reply to clarify.
9/10
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Vedant, Junior Tech Support Assistant, is typing furiously as often as possible, by whatever means necessary.
The manager of his team, Reyansh, is investigating a productivity complaint. As the shift begins, Reyansh is having a quick zoom meeting with the team to address the complaint. Vedant wants Reyansh to watch the recording of him furiously typing, hoping that Reyansh will see how hard Vedant is working. Reyansh pretends to quickly dig up the recording of Vedant working hard, and gives affirmation.
Because of this, Vedant goes to bed that night dreaming of being promoted to a higher level, even being promoted past Vash, that obnoxious bastard. He dreams of impressing Prisha, approaching her with a fancy cell phone and new shoes, and telling her all about his new IT job. "Wow Vendant, I am so impressed! No one thought you would move up high in an IT job"
Vedant almost wakes up with a smile, but then is chilled with sudden worry. He is not an expert on the protocols and procedures necessary for his job. He started sending many messages because he was lost and confused on what actions to take. What will happen if he is actually promoted?
He did not have to worry, the next week he found that everyone in his team was typing as many teams messages as possible in any slow moments, as to not be left behind or blamed for unproductivity.
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Impressive. Normally people with such severe developmental disabilities struggle to write much more than a sentence or two. He really has exceded our expectations for the writing portion. Sadly the coherency of his writing, along with his abilities in the social skills and reading portions, are far behind his peers with similar disabilities.
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And sometimes these people are writing software that I inexplicably need to interface with.
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If I knew pinging whitebois on teams would make them sneed this much, I would have started ages ago.
I am starting to make a list of some of the annoying white c*nts in my teams and making sure I ping them like this for no reason.
JAI HIND
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I actually feel better knowing that I can share (inflict) this with (on) others.
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sadly there is only one guy from burgerland in the team, (rest all are finnish and they are all cool) I am gonna target him. He has this smug sense of superiority even though hes two levels below me in the hierarchy
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He's American, how could he not have a smug sense of superiority?
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Many people from cultures with a sense of respect mistake actually being friendly and casual with superiority.
Some act like you're out of line for daring to propose a solution in a team rather than just staring slack jawed at a superior waiting for instructions.
showing literally any initiative at all makes you management material in these environments as long as you still do what you're told
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This is too accurate.
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do they? I don't think so, someone with an inflated ego maybe. Office politics are everywhere, whichever the culture is.
if you are referring to what I said about that burger webshit, I sad it because I've observed him talking like a douche to some of the juniors as though he knows everything, which he doesn't. When they add me to the call and I correct him he goes silent and then tried to backtrack.
I call it tech bullying, and he does that to a cute Finnish girl in the team which is totally unacceptable
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He's a webshit too, that's what's baffling
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There's a nonzero chance me encouraging you has negatively impacted the experience of somebody within two degrees of separation from me lmao
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I work with bongs Finns and Saudis, so yeah xd
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awaiting reply sir
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You guys are good at this
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R*pe at the UN goes up 15000%.
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Good morning
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hahahahahaha
pinging really opens up some old wounds
pse sir it's a request do the needful
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH STFU STFU STFU
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The worst part is they will ping you literally whenever they want expecting an immediate response within 5 minutes or theyll ping you again (or ping your manager asking why you arent responding) and then the second the clock hits 6 over there they're fricking gone and radio silent even in the middle of a conference call.
The ones located in India and the ones in the domestic office are basically different species and you can see why they choose to actually import the ones they do
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YES
the ones i dealt with don't necessarily have fixed working hours so they might call in the middle of the night or when they're drunk lmao
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I thank Marsey
every day I don't have to work with the proud shitizens of the world next superpower
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They've got to get to their next shift on time. Those retirees aren't going to scam themselves!
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Indescribably accurate. In my last job I went out of my way to help anyone in the office, but I unconsciously ignored the Hyderabad office until absolutely necessary.
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Just block them lol
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I dream of it, I can only imagine how funny the results of that would be.
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If you mute your pings you can just pretend to be incompetent
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I forgive them for almost anything because they came up with unarguably the best food on the planet.
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I go out with a coworker every lunch for indian food and I cant disagree with you at all.
Unlimited naan is truly the worlds greatest invention too
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the dots can be brutal, but they also can produce drama. stay strong seriousking. extract.
ใญใผๅฏพใฆใงใคใไบไปถใๆ้ซ่ฃๅคๆใซใใฃใฆ่ฆใใใใจใใๆ่ฟใฎใใฅใผในใงใ็งใใกใใใใฏใทใณใใณใฎๅทฆ็ฟผใฎๅทใงๅ ๆฐใงๅฎๅ จใงใใใจ็ต่ซไปใใใฎใฏ็ฐกๅใงใใ ใใใใใใใฏ้้ใฃใฆใใพใใ ๆจฉๅจไธป็พฉ็ใชใฌใใชใใฏใจ่กๅใๅบใพใฃใใ ใใใฏ็ใฎใใใชใใฎใงใใ ใใใใขใคใใใซๆๆใใๅ ดๅ๏ผใใใฏๆใฃใฆใใพใ๏ผใๆจฉๅจไธป็พฉ่ ใฏๅฎถใซๅบงใฃใฆไฝใใใชใใจๆใใพใใ๏ผ ใใใใๅฝผใใฏไปใฎไบบใ ใ่ญฆๅฏใใใใใซไฝใใงใใใฎใงใใใใงๅฐใใชใใฉใใฏใฎใญใฃใฉใใณใ้่ปขใใฆใใฎๅ ดๆใใใกใใใกใใซใใพใใ ๅฝผใใฎ่กๅใฏใ็งใใกใฎๅทใฎๆจฉๅจไธป็พฉ็่ฆ็ด ใๅคง่ใซใใใงใใใใ ใใใฏๆๅญ้ใไป่ตทใใฃใฆใใพใใ
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You're late and derivative but you are properly representing the experience of being swarmed by them. 6/10
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How is the weather there sir?
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Turn off the notification sounds you great big soy.
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Im obviously hyperbolizing sweetie. But i do still get some important messages from strangers I like to respond timely too :)
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Snapshots:
/r/drama:
undelete.pullpush.io
archive.org
archive.ph (click to archive)
ghostarchive.org (click to archive)
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Permanently set your status to busy and teach people the best way to reach you is via email.
Worked for me.
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You donโt have your slack muted? Also i just ignore pings from anyone i dont like
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I wish i could mute it but this "everyone working remote" shit means literally everyone, even people down the hall from me, would rather ping me about things that are urgent at the last minute rather than walk over and tell me aboit them.
I pay this punishment in exchange for actually trying to have a decent reputation with the people I do like.
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Simply remind them that Pakistan exists. That should keep them busy.
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We use teams for management discussions but for support we use a specialty program and when someone pings you it pulls your cursor from whatever you're typing and centers it on the ping pop-up. It is the most annoying fricking thing. Especially because there's no need to ping me I'm right fricking here in the chat trying to help someone else and now I have to retype half a sentence.
I still don't want to go back to the office though
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It makes me so mad. I think I've got most of them trained now though because I started telling them that if they ping me I automatically drop them to the bottom of the support queue. I also yell at them in all caps.
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All computer jobs are worthless. Strike a trade and never work with Indians again
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I wonder if EMP spreads radiation
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You may be able to go into the soundmixer in your control panel and mute teams, assuming you can see pings some other way
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