How do I tell my girlfriend she has gained weight?

I’d unscrew or saw the leg of a chair just to the point where it will break when someone sits on it and let her take a seat.

Through a series of whale-calls

Sadly the other comments are "let people enjoy things" tier.

]Dibiasky 672 points 3 hours ago

Exercise is really a non player in the weight-loss game – especially for women.

[–]Kingike25319 87 points 3 hours ago

If the weight is too much of an issue down the line and no suggestions work, don't be afraid to leave the relationship. You're not married and you don't have kids. Also if the situation does arrive that you may need to end the relationship be upfront and honest on why you ended it, don't beat around the bush.

[–]baker_home_maker -7 points an hour ago

That's so rude!! You would end a relationship based on looks alone? I'm sure she's 💯 aware of her weight and feels worse about gaining it!! Leaving will only make her feel worse. He has to do what's best for him, but sometimes gaining weight is a medical problem. I gained weight from thyroid cancer. Is that worth ending a relationship??

[–]Camel_Happy 9 points an hour ago

It is not "rude".

His existence shouldn't revolve around a subservience to her feelings, as neither should hers to his. They're both adults.

The problem is he's put at fault for being too direct, because it's insensitive. He's then put at fault for being too indirect, because it's considered manipulative. It's a lose-lose.

Also, crowbarring a statistical outlier strawman like thyroid cancer into the equation as a means to impart shame is pretty gross. You're taking "weight gain" and your personal anecdote to turn OP into an butthole abandoning a cancer patient.

[–]TinklesTheLambicorn [score hidden] 59 minutes ago

There are plenty of other conditions that impact weight, not just cancer. Others in the post have already mentioned birth control and other medications. There are also other thyroid related conditions and mental health conditions that can impact weight.

Your existence shouldn’t revolve around subservience to someone’s feelings, but the feelings and well-being of someone you supposedly love should be taken into consideration, more so than “if my wife kept gaining weight without changing i’d divorce her”.

This thread really pisses me off, because back when I was married I tried taking their advice. My wife was gradually turning into a braphog and I tried to be nice and supportive, trying to "gently encourage" her to exercise with me. Nothing worked. A few times I was unable to get it up with her, and instead of taking it as a hint that she should do better, my wife got angry at me and acted like it was my fault that her obesity was a turn-off. Eventually she cheated on me, because it was easier to abandon her marriage vows than to exercise even the slightest bit of self-control over her diet. Thankfully I got divorced, and don't have to deal with any of her self-delusional crap anymore.

who give such terrible advice about being "supportive" rather than honest are terrible human beings who undoubtedly deserve to go to a special layer of heck reserved for enablers. If I could redo my relationship all over again, I would have skipped all the supportiveness, told her right to her fat face that she was becoming ugly and obese, and then kicked her to the curb if she didn't take some corrective action. Healthy partnerships mean that people should be able to be honest with each other. Personally I wouldn't ever want to be in a relationship with somebody who was constantly lying to spare my feelings instead of giving me the cold hard truth, and I think that only disgusting narcissists would ever seek out a relationship like that.

I wonder if working out with the partner ever works. I always thought of this the same way drug users won't quit until they are ready and not when someone wants them to.

You put one arm around her and say 'I love you' then with the other hand you squeeze a fat roll and say 'I hate this'

with words.

the same way you tell anyone anything.

geez redditors are dumb.

I find yelling 'BOOM' whenever she takes a step to be effective at getting the point across.

Snapshots:

• undelete.pullpush.io

• archive.org

• archive.ph (click to archive)

• ghostarchive.org (click to archive)

I suppose my situation was reversed. My wife is fit and I was pretty flabby. [...] 137 lbs later

"Pretty flabby"