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I’m really scared. Just looking for support :/

A few days ago after I had a bowel movement I had spotting from my bum. I figured I was getting a hemorrhoid and so I started doing Prep H suppositories and cream. It was coming from inside, and I’ve never had an internal hemorrhoid but I figured eh, that’s what it is.

Well yesterday I learned I can’t use Prep H because it’s a vasoconstrictor and I have PP hypertension. So I stopped. It really doesn’t hurt anyway. But now I was seeing more blood - bright red. I had vaginal s*x last night and this morning and all day I’ve had bright red blood in my underwear. It went from spotting to a 3 inch oval.

I know that logically it’s probably an anal fissure. My dad gets them. I sent my mom a picture of my undies and she said my dad gets that much and more. He recently went to a gastroenterologist and they confirmed it was fissures. I also think it could be related to my stitches from a second degree tear, although I think it’s unlikely because I was cleared at 6 weeks PP and haven’t had any issues.

I do have health anxiety. And just regular anxiety and panic attacks. I’m sure you know my mind is panicking and I’m already crying thinking how sad it will be for my baby not to have a mom (I’m not being flippant - I really do hyperfixate on these things).

I know it could be any number of things, normal or not normal. I just need some support 😞

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