"We have been teaching our kids that they don’t have to give goodnight kisses or goodbye hugs to anyone if they don’t want to. Initially it created some friction with some family members, but the kids have always known that their bodies are their own."

When I was younger this pickup artist CJ tried to bully me since I had a lot of hot women hanging out with me and wouldn't "share." Apparently he thought I was obligated to invite him along every time I was hanging out with some attractive women. He started posting pictures on facebook of a piece of shit on his carpet and tagging me in it. (Which really owned me - I mean the dude shit on his own carpet and thought it made me look stupid.)

Anyway, much later there was this cute woman Joanna hitting on me at a kareoke event with a group of my friends, and my friend Howie spoke to me privately and warned me that she was crazy. (Spoiler: she was.) She was very attractive though so I decided to use this as an opportunity to bury the hatchet with CJ. I told CJ "Hey, I feel bad about our disagreement, so you see that hottie over there? I'm going to give you the first crack at hitting on her, as a mark of respect to you." Then I told Joanna "Hey, could you do me a favor? My friend CJ's been going through some tough times lately, and it could really do him some good to have an attractive woman showing interest in him. Could you maybe ask him about his day or something?"

This was a masterstroke on my part because it took the crazy woman off my hands, while making CJ think that I was "respecting his alpha male status" (or some shit like that). As I was leaving the kareoke place, I saw him having a cigarette with her outside and getting her phone number, so it looked like they must have hit it off.

CJ threw himself in front of a train shortly thereafter, and Joanna died of an overdose even further after that. I really need to thank my friend Howie for saving me from that total train wreck. What a bro move!

Anyway, my point is that I'm not personally a bully, but karma often has a weird way of punishing the people who cross me. Maybe my guardian angel is a bully.