The exactly moment that someone fricks up, there i'll be.

anyway, this is all over now.

I'm estrranged from that side of my family, my birth mother is batshit insane and I"m glad to be free from the responsibility of dealing with it. Andy will deal

Where's trailerpark, where's snally where's frozen

wheres wizdumb

If you see this come back the real people, I'll know it

(Verse 1)

C F Dm

Sit down my sons, I’ve something to say

G C

What my father told me on his dying day

C F Dm

And now to my own sons, I pass this along

   G                                 C    F C G

For my time is at hand, and soon I’ll be gone

C F Dm

I’ve tried to teach you what’s right and what’s wrong

G C

Be upright, be honest, be brave and be strong

C F Dm

Be kind and be true to the good friends you’ve made

      G                         C      C7

And never turn down a chance to get laid!

CHORUS 1:

   F

Do the Young ones, the old ones,

C

The hot ones, the cold ones

G                    C

The scags, the hags, the free and the paid

   F

Do the rich ones the poor ones

C            Am

The drunk on the floor ones

       Dm                     G

If they’re ugly son pull down the shade

      F           G             C

And never turn down a chance to get laid!

Interlude

F F C Am Dm G C C G F C G

(Verse 2)

C F Dm

Oh boys now I lay here my body all broke

G C

I pray you’ll be heedin’ these last words I spoke

C F Dm

As I meet my maker I clearly now see

G                                        C   C7

Why all of your mothers are so pissed off at me

CHORUS 2:

       F

So, do the big ones, the small ones

C

The short ones, the tall ones

G                          C

The street walking hooker, the cooker of pain

   F

Do the flat chested screamer

    C            Am

The big breasted big beamers

  Dm                       G

Never mind if she’s fertile or spayed

      F           G             C      C7

And never turn down a chance to get laid!

CHORUS 3:

   F

Do the sleazy, the easy

C

The smelly, the greasy

G                       C

The smutty, the slutty, the chubby ones too

   F

Do the classic two bagger

C F Dm

Sit down my sons, I’ve something to say

G C

What my father told me on his dying day

C F Dm

And now to my own sons, I pass this along

   G                                 C    F C G

For my time is at hand, and soon I’ll be gone

C F Dm

I’ve tried to teach you what’s right and what’s wrong

G C

Be upright, be honest, be brave and be strong

C F Dm

Be kind and be true to the good friends you’ve made

      G                         C      C7

And never turn down a chance to get laid!

CHORUS 1:

   F

Do the Young ones, the old ones,

C

The hot ones, the cold ones

G                    C

The scags, the hags, the free and the paid

   F

Do the rich ones the poor ones

C            Am

The drunk on the floor ones

       Dm                     G

If they’re ugly son pull down the shade

      F           G             C

And never turn down a chance to get laid!

Interlude

F F C Am Dm G C C G F C G

(Verse 2)

C F Dm

Oh boys now I lay here my body all broke

G C

I pray you’ll be heedin’ these last words I spoke

C F Dm

As I meet my maker I clearly now see

G                                        C   C7

Why all of your mothers are so pissed off at me

CHORUS 2:

       F

So, do the big ones, the small ones

C

The short ones, the tall ones

G                          C

The street walking hooker, the cooker of pain

   F

Do the flat chested screamer

    C            Am

The big breasted big beamers

  Dm                       G

Never mind if she’s fertile or spayed

      F           G             C      C7

And never turn down a chance to get laid!

CHORUS 3:

   F

Do the sleazy, the easy

C

The smelly, the greasy

G                       C

The smutty, the slutty, the chubby ones too

   F

Do the classic two bagger

    C           Am

The two legged tail wager

Dm                           G       G!

And boys you’ll know when you’re through

        F!            G!                       C!

When you’ve found one you love who loves who loves you

          C7!

But until you do

CHORUS 4:

   F

Do the black ones the white ones

C

The loose ones the tight ones

G                         C

The freaks do the geeks, the uniques and all the antiques

   F                        C          Am

Do the nasty and the mean, the obese the obscene

      Dm          G

But never turn down a chance

   C        Am

Always go for romance

  Dm          G

Never turn down a chance

   C          Am

Always go for the pants

      F           G             C    

And never turn down a chance to get laid!

(Outro)

F F C Am Dm G C GC

    C           Am

The two legged tail wager

Dm                           G       G!

And boys you’ll know when you’re through

        F!            G!                       C!

When you’ve found one you love who loves who loves you

          C7!

But until you do

CHORUS 4:

   F

Do the black ones the white ones

C

The loose ones the tight ones

G                         C

The freaks do the geeks, the uniques and all the antiques

   F                        C          Am

Do the nasty and the mean, the obese the obscene

      Dm          G

But never turn down a chance

   C        Am

Always go for romance

  Dm          G

Never turn down a chance

   C          Am

Always go for the pants

      F           G             C    

And never turn down a chance to get laid!

(Outro)

F F C Am Dm G C GC

I wonder why?