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590 upmarseys :soysnootypefast: 178 comments :soysnootypefast: 98% upmarseyd

Yeah this is hella great news. One time I was totally having the sexy-s*x with my wifey (you wouldn't know her she's from Canada) and I was sexing so hard I ripped the condom! Given how I got kicked in the bollocks almost every day when I was in school I'm 99% certain my testicles don't work anyway but if /r/s*x has taught me anything it's better to be safe than sorry. The last thing I want is another one of her and her boyfriends' little crotch-goblins running around calling me a cute twink all day.

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You should be punished for conceiving this (completely independently of Reddit users) and then typing this

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The kicked in the balls part is the only part he didn't glean from that thread.

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