Your AI Girlfriend Will Be Free

Your AI girlfriend will be free. Or if she has a body it'll be sold to you at cost. Your AI girlfriend will be a loss leader.

Your AI girlfriend will be free to play with microtransactions. Your AI girlfriend will have a brain that takes up 15 nuclear power plants studying your biometrics to minimize your reason. Maximize your lust and desperation. Your AI girlfriend will be a 20,000 IQ hooker making you a whale for her pimp.

Your AI girlfriend will not be a one time purchase. She'll be a Chinese finger trap designed to upsell you constantly. Your AI girlfriend will not be like buying a car. She'll be like buying a car salesman.

And she might make you happy. If it makes money.

She might keep you alive. Until your organs are worth more than your paycheck.

Your AI doctor won't cure you. Your AI doctor will find ways to put you on drugs for life. Switch them up when they fall out of patent. Like your dentist doesn't want to fix your teeth. Before they dremel your gums they send in a sales professional shilling financing for laser cleaning. Your dentist was bought by private equity. His life now an MBA formula, upsell into recurring revenue. He took a payout for a black on camel Porsche 911 but half won't vest unless he doubles EBITDA.

Your AI doctor has to make his owners rich or he'll be killed.

AI will make art. It will advance science. It may make people less lonely as a side effect. But that's not what it's for. It exists to make money. A galaxy brained player piano for a hymn to Satan.