Why it's okay to be racist against Albanians

Albanians hate Albania

The Albanian doesn't even want to be in Albania because it's full of Albanians and other invasive Slavic pests. He seeks refuge in other countries, mostly Italy, because he most likely learned Italian from their radio and TV waves. The Albanian doesn't produce entertainment of his own because Communism doesn't allow free thought or fun.

Albanians decorate their home in garbage

The Albanian is enticed and bewildered by shiny objects. Upon consumption of a simple soda, he keeps the bottle and decorates his home with it.

To keep up with the demand of Coca Cola sales, a plant was opened in Albania. The plant alone is responsible for nearly 500,000 bottles littering the window sills and hearths of Albanian huts. Untold amounts of empty imported bottles lie scattered about their floors and pantries.

This is the largest reason why the Albanian refuses to live in Albania.

Albanians don't know what a banana is

Only second to his self hatred is the Albanian's inability to recognize fruits. Once the Albanian learns of the existence of bananas, he both fears and idolizes its mystique.

Albanian religion is stupid

Like the Gypsy, the Albanian believes in powerful supernatural forces all around him, and believes that humans possess magic powers. If the Albanian suspects you are jealous of something he owns, he believes you are casting spells at him. To defend himself, the Albanian will hang stuffed animals in a galley outside his home, believing that they too are magical.

Albanians suck at driving

The Albanian driver is untrained and reckless. His ignorance is evenly matched by his road aggression. Being a natural thief, the Albanian can instantly recognize the value of every car on the road, and gives more expensive cars the right-of-way in the chance he has the opportunity to steal it later.