A 23 year old posts some advice about living arrangements to /r/adulting. The sub thinks that OP is in no position to give life advice, especially since they moved back in with their parents. OP ends up picking fights and arguing with everyone
*Names in brackets are shortened usernames ^^^not ^^^a ^^^reflection ^^^of ^^^how ^^^I ^^^feel ^^^about ^^^individual ^^^users
——
POST -
>Moving out and getting your own place is worth it more than living with roomates even if you will struggle financially
>Just wanted to get this off my chest real quick. Time and time again I see posts about people living at home with their parents and wanting to move out and get their own 1 bedroom or studio apartment. The comments 95 percent of time tell them it's not a good idea and they should just get roomates. What these people are failing to mention is that even though you will save more money living with roomates, you will be paying at the expense of your mental health. Meaning yes you can save more money but you wont be happy and will be miserable with your life due to your roomates making life more stressful for you. Money is not worth sacrificing your mental health.
>Im 23 and living at home right now but plan on getting a one bedroom when I move out. The reason why it is so much better to struggle financially and live on your own than live with roomates and have your mental health tanked is because in life you can always make more money however you cant get back the years you spent sacrificing your mental health just to save more money. Always choose mental health over money. So if youre in the same boat as me and lets say you only make 3k a month take home but you wanna move out and get a one bedroom thats like $1500 in your area my advice is to do it.Do not listen to these ppl on the internet telling you to get roomates and sacrifice your mental health just so you can save more money.
>Yes living on your own and paying your own bills will be a struggle and yes you will struggle financially but if you push through it it will force you to make decisions in life that have the end result of you being able to increase your income then at the end of the day you can have not only your freedom but security as well in eventually making enough income to where youre not struggling living on your own anymore.
>EDIT: Since people keep asking this question and wrongly are assuming I've never lived on my own before just because I said i live at home right now, lemme clarify some things.
>I moved out of my parent's house at 18 and From AGES 18-20 I lived with ROOMATES.
Then I lived in a ONE BEDROOM on my own for one year before moving back home with parents and have been home for 2 years now. Hope that clarifies things.
——
COMMENTS -
(Bed) I like that you still live with your parents but already know which is better. It's not a given that you won't enjoy living with your roommates, a lot of them remain friends for years after not living together
>(Logan) I had a best friend who refused that his dirty dishes were his both years I lived with him. I got drunk and physically attacked him. Still buds to this day but couldn't live with him again.
>(OP) I've already lived with roomates before as well as lived on my own so im pretty sure I can compare which is better lol. I said I live at home currently never said i havent lived out on my own before.
https://old.reddit.com/r/Adulting/comments/1fg1sba/moving_out_and_getting_your_own_place_is_worth_it/
>(Wanderer) There is nothing better than living on your own and perhaps a loving partner. People have to live with a roommate (well some people do not want to live alone) because they have to. That said, sometimes you can still find very good roommates and that's the second best scenario besides living alone.
>(OP) Idk about you but i personally am an introvert so living on my own will always be better for me than ever living with roomates. I would rather live at home with my parents than live with roomates(which is what im doing now basically). I do understand your point that there can be good roomates out there but in my opnion they are in the minority.
>(Casino) I'm 37 and have always had roommates since I moved out at 19. I've lived with my two best friends and/or girlfriends. Some fights obviously but nothing that was worth losing the savings and fun times I have had with them that I wouldn't have had otherwise. Countless fun hangouts. From 19-33 I saved minimum $84,000. I bought a house and let my friend/girlfriend move in. I've saved another $73,000 from 33 to 37. So lots of good memories and an extra $157,500 saved. That doesn't count money from investing the savings.
>(OP) Thats good for you but youre one person bud lol. Your experience alone doesnt account for all thee people(including me) who have lived with roomates before and realized it was not worth the headache/stress having to live with roomates again. Also living with a GF is different so I wouldnt really count that.
>(Slayer) So why are you dishing out "advice". Aren't you only one person with only your set of experience?
>(OP) Well considering that my post got over 20 upmarseys, I would say theres several other ppl who agree with what im saying. Cant say the same case for you though lol.
>(Bed) My comment at the top of this thread has more upmarseys than your post so if you're going by the court of public opinion, I win. I dunno what I won though (cont…)
>(OP) The only reason your comment has more upmarseys is because a lot of people who are salty that I said living on your own is better than roomates are downvoting my comments since they disagree with it. But yeah I agree I definitely shouldve mentioned it and just updated my post cause too many ppl misintepreted me "living at home with my parents right now" to not having never moved out before and lived on my own when I literally never said that.
>(Suffering) "The only reason your comment has more upmarseys is because a lot of people who are salty that I said living on your own is better than roomates are downvoting my comments since they disagree with it" ..yes? That's...his point too, I'm not sure what you think this proves lol
>(OP) It literally proves that if people dont like the title of your post they will blindly downmarsey your comments regardless of whether your comments are wrong or not. Not sure what's so hard about that for you to understamd lol
——
(Alt) "Money is not worth sacrificing your mental health." "Im 23" Whos gonna tell him that that's literally what he's gonna spend the next 40+ years of his life doing?
>(OP) Speak for yourself. A lot of ppl have good paying jobs. in careers they actually like. Just cause youre miserable with yours doesnt mean everyone else is lol.
>(Uwu) You sound like you're not one of those people by the way you're talking. You're severely underestimating the stress that comes from being fully self-sufficient
——
(Wood) Have you ever lived with roommates? Frankly a 23 year old trying to explain the facts of life to a bunch of more experienced older people is pretty hard to take seriously
>(OP) Yes i've lived with roomates before and lived by myself before so im pretty sure I can compare the two.
>(Wood) Cool, please elaborate on how long and how many variations of those you've experienced
>(OP) Sure thing. I lived with roomates from ages 18-20 then lived on my own for one year and now have been at home a couple years now.
>(Wood) Wow a whole two years of experience with roommates! Can you offer me some career advice as well? Maybe how to keep my marriage strong over the long run? Look I remember being 23 and thinking I knew a whole lot and getting upset at how people would brush me off but at this age you're better served by gaining new experience than by digging into your preconceptions. It'll make for a richer life.
>(OP) Yes I can offer you some advice. Rather than spending your time on reddit trying to argue with a "23 yr old", you could be using this time brushing up on your work skills so you can get a better paying job so your wife will stop nagging you about being able to contribute more financially. Good luck to you you'll definitely need it.
>(Pancake) ….You came back to your parents' house… you are not in a place to write this last comment, really
>(OP) Saying I moved back home wasnt the "gotcha moment" you thought it was 😂 Im literally in a very good position right now financially because I moved back.
>(Pancake) So you are living with your parents as housemates
——
(Silver) Your mental health will be at risk if you're struggling financially to make ends meet renting a one bedroom apartment. You clearly have little experience in the real world from not only the bold statements made in your post, but the replies you've made to people in this thread.
>(OP) So according to you millions of ppl that live on their own and have their own place but are struggling financially don't have real world experience lol. Speak for yourself dude.
>(Silver) Never once did I say that. Though I'm curious what your reasoning in moving back in with your parents was?
>(OP) Moving back home got me in the position Im in now where I have a decent amount in savings and can not have to worry as much about affording a one bedroom again compared to before I had moved back home. It's something called common sense you should give it a try sometime lol.
>(Silver) The irony. So you did the same thing people who move in with room mates do - to save money. Your parents are your room mates by definition. Unfortunately, not everyone has the luxury to live with their parents to save money, therefore they go about it by living with others. In their case their friends, random people etc. In your case your parents. Give common sense a try sometime.
>(OP) "Unfortunately not everyone has the luxury to live with their parents to save money", not my problem. Go talk to somebody who cares. Sorry I dont have sympathy for ppl who act like hardasses.
>(Blast) Tries to make a universal statement. When someone points out exceptional cases it's not your problem lol. You sound like you have the life experience of a 18-19 year old, you should go back to living with roommates to gain more life experience
——
(Builder) Living with roommates is fine and totally worth the savings. Not everyone has social anxiety and can't deal with people lol. Most of my roommates been friends I knew anyway.
>(OP) Lol projection . So according to you people who live alone do so because of social anxiety lmao im cracking up rn that is one heck of a take.
>(Builder) Don't put words in my mouth. You're the one that suggests living with roommates will tank your mental health. There's nothing wrong living alone but living roommates is fine too as it saves money. You're the one projecting your bad roommate experiences onto others.
>(OP) Nope youre the one projecting people who live alone with having social deficiencies so some word of advice please shut up if you have no idea what you are talking about.
——
(Trixter) One bedrooms are like 3k where I live.
>(OP) then move
>(OP) If I was in your shoes I would literally rather move to another city and get a job somewhere else where rent is way cheaper for one bedrooms than stay there and be forced to live with roomates.
——
(Dave) this is extremely shortsighted. Staying out of debt/maximizing my retirement savings in my 20s is going to be worth so much more than a little bit of peace of mind I have gained. I have bad roommates? Sure. I had one bail and use their security deposit as last months rent. I had one just disappear one day. I had one landlord/roommate that was taking advantage of me and my girlfriend. It really sucked. But losing $1000+/ month when I was at my poorest is totally worth those headaches. I entered my 30s 100% debt-free. I bought a house at 35. I've been able to take vacations and have nice things all while maximizing my retirement
>(OP) Thats good for you but not all of us wanna wait until we're 35 to finally start enjoying our lives lol. That's pretty sad tbh.
>(Dave) but who said I didn't enjoy my life until I was 35? Things peaked at 35. I still had plenty of fun while being broke. And now, almost 38, my life is perfect. I have plenty of friends that got into debt and bad financial situations in their 20s and they are struggling when they are almost 40
>(OP) That sucks for them. They shouldve made better financial decisions.
>(Cgo3o) Like being born with parents who let you move back in after 18? Lol
——
(Lay) So you think that your mental health will be good when you're barely staying afloat paying for this out of budget place? The moment something happens (and it certainly will) and you need money, you will dip your toes into debt. Then said debt will snowball because you will take instant gratification over your long term financial health. And the you're in your 30s drowning in debt, no retirement, nothing to your name because you wanted a cute place to live alone at. You do you, I guess.
>(OP) Have you heard of this thing called savings before? Thats why they exist dude for moments like that. Dipping in your savings should also always be a last resort option but I understand some people have trouble managing money well so that might be a complicated task for you personally but that doesnt apply to everyone.
>(Ghost) By your own math you're 23 years old at the oldest. Why you think that you have discovered some revolutionary financial secret that nobody else has thought of before is a mystery. You've barely begun life, and at this point you're not even old enough to rent a car in many places. You've lived with room mates for a brief period and lived solo for nearly as short a time. You know which you preferred. You have absolutely no idea what every else prefers. Have you even considered that some people might prefer living with roommates over being so financially stretched they end up having to move back home to their parents just a couple years later?
>(OP) Enjoy ur roomates bud. That's all you had to say is you like having roomates and having no personal space/freedom to yourself. That's fine with me if you like living in a prison cell then stay there. Not my problem.
>(Bones) You live with your parents bud…..
——
(Mhq) you need to save for retirement
>(OP) Dont care about retirement plus I will be retiring overseas anyways where it's much cheaper. I have 0 intentions on retiring in America with how expensive it is.
https://old.reddit.com/r/SubredditDrama/comments/1fgkaty/a_23_year_old_who_lives_with_their_parents_tells/
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
In my entire life I've had one roommate who was actually a normal fricking person who just wanted a place to sleep and stuff. And I've had one who was close enough to sane that I could dismiss all the red flags as cultural differences for years. On the other hand I've had a lot of bad ones. I think what really turned me off on roommates was when one who I had warned everyone about repeatedly beat a stranger to death on the street over schizo reasons. Living with your parents isn't cool but I think it's worth it when you don't have to deal with that.
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
I've lived with two different roommates (not including college dorms) and they were both friends and it worked out great. All of us would clean and be courteous and while I'm also glad I live on my own now, the years I lived with roommates were also pretty drama free.
Maybe your roommates just sucked lol
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
I don't understand why everyone says living with roommates is terrible. I literally only ever lived with strangers and never had bad experiences. One of them was kinda weird and had a weird relationship with her mom (who was over all the fricking time), but she also spent most of the time in her room so who cares. Just be respectful of each others space and it will work out.
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
I've only lived with friends except once I did a 6 month sublet when I was 24 with two randos. They were fine, not my type of dudes but it was whatever.
Otherwise, I don't understand how someone wouldn't have friends in their 20s to live with
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
More options
Context
Normal people don't need to live with strangers so you mostly get freaks and people new to the country if you live with strangers
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
Do you not meet them before moving in with them? I had a couple potential roommates I absolutely nixed because I knew they were freaks
I chose to live with strangers instead of friends because they'll be less likely to want to spend time around you
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
No. This was when I had to move to a new city for an internship and just rented a random room for a few months
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
More options
Context
More options
Context
More options
Context
More options
Context
Yes. Yes they did. It's Portland so.
I am on so many levels of being done with this.
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
All my Portland roommates sucked. Especially the buttholes who refused to turn on the heat above 55 for, "environmental reasons." Death to climate tards.
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
It's for bills reasons r-slur put on a blanket
@Grue stand with israel
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
More options
Context
I had one who thought he was better than me because he rode a rode a bike to work. I rode the bus. I did it out of choice; he did it because he got license revoked for DUIs. Didn't matter. I was still a chud in his eyes and he was still better than me.
When I talk about nuclear weapons as the solution for Portland and point out specific places on the map and what yields and altitudes the airbursts should be set for, those are all jokes though.
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
Portland is a remarkable achievement as a mostly white city with plenty of money that ruined itself by way of mayo incompetence.
Also I don't know what specific ethnic group of mayo populated that place but darn if the residents there aren't busted af. Why even have that many strip clubs when the most of the creatures working the poles are absolute goblins.
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
Yeah it really is amazing. A whole population with the opposite of generational trauma, descended from the wealthiest, most successful people on Earth in the 1800s-1900s. Plus they've got the enormous windfall from Intel. And they still manage to frick things up as bad as Detroit.
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
I don't get it. Portland is in the PNW which is one of the most beautiful places on Earth, the place had a huge influx of artists and wealthy people, and there was relatively little racial strife that plagued other cities in America. Yet the people there are a very annoying kind of mayo, the kind that takes pride about not being some southern hillbilly but ultimately lack some kind of human quality nonetheless. This would be tolerable if they were talented in any way but those people all retired or are gone now.
It's like a bizarro world version of New England where they share similar politics (progressive RINOs + presence of co-ops and strong collective mentality) but the people there are way less broken brained politically. It's confusing to say the least. Maybe it's the cold filtering out the opportunists. NE people (especially the real kind in the north) are much more insular but ultimately much more genuinely friendly when you get to know them
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
I believe the core problem is that everyone here is white. Just white. That's their only identity. They're completely cut off from their heritage. My people have been here for a long time, as far back as actually coming over the Oregon Trail, but most of the population has arrived here from somewhere else relatively recently. We have a huge number of people who were losers in California and moved up here because housing was cheaper. The common story of most Portland mayos is they came from a family that didn't have any sense of identity and usually they also don't get along with their family.
This leads to all kinds of really bizarre psychological problems. Their only identity is being white, and the only thing you're ever taught about white people in our society is that they're the bad guys and they need to feel guilty all the time. So you've got a city full of white people who are hypervigilant about catching other white people being racist. Big problem tho: There's very few black people here so it's hard to catch anyone actually being racist. (We've got lots of latinx and asians, but of course they're not BIPOCs so they can't be victims of racism.) So the racism thing becomes this complete clown show where people are throwing out accusations that somebody would be racist if there was an actual a black person around. Literal Salem-level witch hunt shit where everyone has forgotten what witchcraft is and they're just tossing people onto the pyre.
Add to this the incredibly astounding level of hypocrisy of these tards. They move here from some place that has race problems. Then they act just completely fricking dumbfounded that the craft beer club in Portland Fricking Oregon doesn't have any black people in it.
They move to the whitest place they possible could, do the whitest activities they possibly could, and there's no blacks there. So what's the reason for this? They know exactly what it is. They write in the New Yorker about how actually Oregonians were always the real racists. Jim Crow, lynchings, that whole slavery thing, that might sound bad but actually Oregonians have always been so much worse. You just didn't notice because we never actually did anything, but we secretly wanted to.
No you dumbfrick. There aren't black people around you because every choice you've made in your life was to get away from them. You pretend to like craft beer because it's a form of conspicuous consumption that filters out anyone who isn't white, upper-middle class, and an insufferable cute twink. You would never dream of just cracking open a couple cans of Hurricane with your bro because you're uncomfortable around black people and want to avoid them.
Anyway, I should make a more organized rant about this someday.
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
More options
Context
More options
Context
More options
Context
Not sure what ethnicity it is but Oregon used to be so racist that not even black slaves were allowed. Their constitution banned black people from crossing the border in but white slaves were fine. I think whatever's going on now is just a big overreaction to compensate for their history
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
1 trillion percent. Most of Eastern Washington/Oregon was a sundown area till the 90s
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
More options
Context
More options
Context
More options
Context
More options
Context
More options
Context
More options
Context
More options
Context
And I thought my roommate not allowing me to switch the fan on at 25C was oppressive.
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
More options
Context
What if my parents are narcissists?
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
You can win by pretending to love them even though they took away your Playstation that one time. Play the long game.
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
More options
Context
Go no contact, you don't deserve better
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
More options
Context
More options
Context
More options
Context