:marseyitneverbegan:

Count_Sprpr Vamp/ire Nothing I say is ever 100% serious, 95% at most :!marseywave:

7mo ago #6289959

In the vast expanse of the United States lies a bustling community of creatures, among them, the enigmatic American. With their chubby, blobby bodies and intricate paws, these fascinating mammals are the architects of their own unique existence.

In the heart of their world lies a peculiar ritual - the trading of mobility scooters. Like a bustling marketplace, Americans engage in a dance of negotiation and exchange, all for the perfect fit. You see, these creatures don't grow their own scooters; they rely on discarded scooters of other American-like beings to protect their soft, vulnerable bodies.

Through this intricate system of scooter trading, Americans ensure not only their survival but also their evolution. With each exchange, they adapt to their changing needs and environments, a testament to the ingenuity of nature's designs. And as dawn breaks over the American heartland, the Americans retreat once more into their homes, ready to face another day in their ever-changing world.

!burgers !eurochads

:#marseyscooter:

:#marseydisintegrate: :!#marseyflamewar: :space: :!marseyagree:

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Cyberstalker he/him Aspiring hikikomori Count_Sprpr 7mo ago #6291480

Is this just a David Attenborough script with hermit crab replaced with American and other words swapped out in the same way?

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_sus ogre/bogre :parrotslow:

7mo ago #6289845

child abuse

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HollyJollyJihad Hazzard/County :marseysteaming:

_sus 7mo ago #6290321

yt "culture" :roflmao:

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AnnoyinTheGoyim oy/vey :squirreljak:

JUSTICE 4 PEANUT :squirreljak2:

7mo ago #6289940

This is child abuse. The parents should be locked up.

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Brony UNDER/TALE Cream Ponut Factory 7mo ago #6289805

OK, so the first part of Wall-e was right. When do we get our sexy apple robots? :marseysnappylove:

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Domnhall of/Zena Troglodyte Maxxer 7mo ago #6290019

This is just rage inducing.

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Lv97_Slime slime/slime eww....sticky 7mo ago #6290481

How does this even fricking happen? You have to feed them Kool-Aid instead of milk all the time at this age or something like that.

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SleighOut ping/pong Ping "Gock or not" @WayOut for a forensic gock assessment. 100dc per analysis. Lv97_Slime 7mo ago #6292221

The mom's milk is 95% corn-syrup.

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mogus cd/ls :marseymoney:

Inflation is transitory :marseymoney:

7mo ago #6290299

Found 192 Coins!

Baby's first mobility scooter. Now Madison can be just like her mommy! 😍

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Cyberstalker he/him Aspiring hikikomori 7mo ago #6291495

Found 72 Coins!

I hate how babies seem to have an even stronger effect than fat people of "this [baby/fat person] showed up in public/visited your house as an unannounced friend of someone else, drop everything you were previously doing and make everything in the area have a primary purpose of keeping this [baby/fat person] safe, comfortable, and not need to exert any effort"

!edgelords :marseyhanger: :marseyaborted:

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box check/bio Que sera, sera Cyberstalker 7mo ago #6291793

10 trillion years of evolutionary history... Am I out of touch? No, the children must be wrong

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Cyberstalker he/him Aspiring hikikomori box 7mo ago #6291874

I never said anything about children and I'm a zoomer so I relatively recently used to be a child, I just think that if babies and fat people require so much special attention to keep them from becoming stranded on the ground due to inability to walk, they shouldn't be thrust into places full of people not interested in gaining a new objective of helping the baby/fat person feel comfortable and pretend to do things a human can (I've been forced to coexist with a relative who both owns a pet and a baby, until the baby learned to speak full sentences she treated the baby as a more fragile pet but also brought it everywhere as a prop even though it won't remember the experiences everyone else was inconvenienced to enable). If we can have movie theaters without under-13s, we should be able to have airlines without babies (inb4 muh public carrier argument, poors survive well enough without a seasonly trip, so first-time parents shouldn't complain about having to miss a year of travel because they chose to have children right before an entire-family trip). The issue of fats is a bit more complicated given that just time doesn't automatically make fat people thin, but I think extending Bloombergian "fat tax-lite" laws to products other than sugary drinks, as well as making users of store-provided scooters need to prove the existence of a diagnosed physical disability other than obesity should eventually make the fat lifestyle unsustainable for anyone other than the upper class.

Yes, I am a Mike Bloomberg fan and /r/childfree sympathiser, before you ask.