I'm a 41-year-old, fat, chronically physically and mentally ill, virgin. I'm nonbinary and bisexual, but only out to a few close friends. I was born into an extremely strict, overprotective, conservative family. I didn't even come out to myself until I was over 30, and living with my parents until their deaths, I didn't have any freedom to do anything about it, anyway. I have one online friend with whom I've been writing erotica inspired by various movie and TV characters since we were in our 20s.
She's a few years older than me, and in a similar boat: disabled, housebound, never had a relationship, only she identifies as cishet female. What we typically do is role-playing where we take turns playing the part of the guy and the girl. Other friends tell me she's sucked up all the emotional space I could have given to an actual partner, but I always saw her and our writing as my saving grace. Until the last year or so, when menopause, medication, and worsening health issues have caused her to lose her attention span and libido, leading to her no longer wanting to write at all, let alone anything erotic. I'm left completely at sea.
I've written solely in a roleplay format for so long that I'm unable to write without a partner, and without that, I have zero outlet for my loneliness or sexual frustration. My own weight and health problems have been catching up with me, and I feel way too old, unattractive, and physically limited to attempt to date for the first time in my life. My steady diet of romantic fantasies has left me with impossibly high standards, and I doubt I'd enjoy actual s*x in this body, with the type of person I could actually attract. But I don't know how to begin finding another weird, quasi-sexual writing relationship like I had with my friend for so long. What should I do?
—Frustrated in Florida
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If your this
Does it really matter what your sexuality/gender identity is? Dude needs to give up any thoughts aboyt using his weiner. Its just another small appendage that he pisses out of now.
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The reality is that 30+ year old virgins have a sexuality of "Anyone who will touch me"
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Celibacy chads rise up
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Promiscuouscels, it's over.
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So they both wrote and role-played erotica with one another for decades, but never thought to just meet up and frick?
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This is kind of a reverse incel problem if you think about it. They got all the intimacy and emotional connection of s*x with a partner they've developed a relationship ship with for years, but never actually physically had s*x.
Incels have to pay prostitutes to finally have physical s*x only to realize afterwards what they have truly been deprived of is a romantic connection with someone.
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Given the choice between s*x or romance I would 100% choose s*x every time. I don't even like romance if there's no s*x involved. Massive waste of my time.
I mean obviously it would be great to combine s*x and romance, but I'm very clear on which one is more important to me
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!moidmoment
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It do be that way tho. Tbh s*x in a factor in almost every relationship I have with women (minus my kin of course). "Would I tap that?" is a question every moid asks himself pretty often
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No, this is a Chadmoment
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Romance is pretty pointless without s*x
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The order of operations from best to worst is:
Fulfilling relationship (romance, s*x)
Fulfilling s*x life (s*x, no romance)
Single and unhappy (no s*x, no romance)
Desperate orbiter (romance, no s*x)
Like I don't give a shit if the hottest celebrity alive wanted to "erotic roleplay" with me: if they was no chance of getting s*x out of it I would absolutely tell her to frick off and stop wasting my time.
Women who try to turn you into an orbiter are terrible human beings and I have zero patience for that bullshit
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Just use the VR thing and pretend it's Shinobu from Monogatari?
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This is grim, jimie.
Are you the girl in the story?
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Losing my attention span and libido and sinking ever-deeper into an epistemologically closed, self-referential internet hellscape? Yeah,
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Lol, deserved
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How do people not just get over it after a certain point. Virginity is not this dude's biggest problem. The s*x he would have at this point isn't even worth having anymore. There's not a person on this planet who wouldn't suffer while touching you.
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20 years of writing and nothing to show for it
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I feel better about those 4 hour phone calls in the middle of the night.
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