I think the title is too niche a reference but regardless, it's that time of year again at last so recommend teas that I can pretend have health benefits but are really just dirt water.
I have a cup of ginger turmeric in the morning and two cups of chamomile before sleep and I think the morning could be moved to early evening and so I specifically want something herbal for first thing in the morning but I'm open to others 
The pumpkin spice finally ran out and it would be weird to reup on that in December.
NOTHING CAFFEINATED
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!sodadrinkers LET THAT NEIGHBOR KNOW
Me I'm drinking Mug root beer
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Baja blast in the morning .
Code red for the afternoon pick me up
Warmed classic in the evening as a dessert supplement.
Then of course a night cap of one of my many designer blends.
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Tea
Invented by chinks or Neanderthals or something
People choke it down because granola hippies told them to
Associated with East Asia, a land of pod-dwelling bugmen
Requires setup and your own paraphernalia
Soda
Invented by chemists and civil war veterans
People drink it because it tastes good
Associated with America, the greatest nation on Earth
Ready to go and comes with its own drinking container
!burgers !sodadrinkers it's not even funny I love my nation so much
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Soda used to be cooler when it was chock full of opiates.
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It never even began for teacels
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I only drink Ito En Jasmine Green tea, actual jap sencha, gook hwangcha or expensive chink pu-erh.
Only the finest tea leaves picked by monks, virgins and/or maidens.
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I have a pancake sized puck of pu-erh from one of the Yiwu mountains of the Six Great Tea Mountains.
I'm saving it for a special occassion.
Like Xi Jinping dying. Or the Three Gorges Dam collapsing. Or Chinese Civil War. Or China becoming bankrupt. Or Shanghai falling into the giant sinkhole that is Shanghai.
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posting a pic of the typical expensive pu-erh packaging so mayos don't get confused over "pancake sized"
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How expensive r we talking
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prices i cant pay
https://www.cbc.ca/documentarychannel/features/the-ultimate-in-luxury-tea-puerh-sells-for-up-to-10000-kg
https://www.scmp.com/magazines/style/news-trends/article/3177579/why-old-chinese-tea-can-be-worth-more-wine-or-whisky
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I heard about cha gao/tea resin for the first time in a youtube video a few days ago, I'm considering buying some but there's only three listings of it on (US) amazon so I'm worried that there's a reason it's not more popular. You ever had this stuff/is it worth buying?
One of the three listings: https://www.amazon.com/FullChea-Menghai-Pu-erh-Yunnan-Digestion/dp/B08FDDTC8M
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i'll be honest and tell you that i've never heard of or seen this before but it doesn't look too expensive to give it a try
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I was too afraid to order from a weird chinese listing but I found a Canadian company selling it and I'm pretty sure that theirs won't be made of fentanyl or gutter oil, so I'll buy some and report back
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If you're importing, a cake of high end puerh runs $50-100. Some places will sell them in smaller pieces.
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baijiu gives the worst hangovers tho lol
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Carp btw before you say caffeine green tea has less caffeine than hot chocolate does
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We didn't win a revolution to be tea drinking cute twinks
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no we won a revolution to tax ourselves more heavily than the King could ever dream of, and pretend to have representative government at the same time
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Oh yes, sorry comrade, I forgot: we also now can coom to AI catgirls, whereas in 1776 this was not possible
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Obviously have breakfast tea in the morning wtf are you talking about carp? Fkn herbal tea in the morning?
You think livingstone was exploring Africa with a cup of herbal tea in the morning? You think Admiral Nelson was sippin on some peppermint blend like a Parisian whore?
Herbal tea in the morning! I ain't never heard anything more kitty in my entire life.
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The bongs are invading my thread in growing numbers
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Drinking tea is a bong trait
Coffee is what us business class Americans drink
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I knew a couple of britbong women when I was in a third country for classified business purposes. They had never heard of anything besides "tea" and when they became acquainted with USAmericans they were astonied at the different kinds of "tea" that people (human people, not bongs) actually drink, besides regular tea.
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Roobis cause it tastes like coffee
why are you not drinking coffee
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I hate coffee
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Wow carp i never knew you were subhuman. Sometimes you surprise me.
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I really like the smell of coffee but I hate how it tastes too
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It absolutely does not taste like coffee, anyone who thinks it does had their tastebuds destroyed by years of drinking burnt coffee.
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Rosehip, hibiscus, chamomile, ginger and fennel are the pentavirate of herbs u must consoom
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Well I'm 2 for 5
What's the deal with rosehip, hibiscus and fennel
Do you have any recommended Brands™
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Fennel is an anti inflammatory and suppresses appetite, its good for the heart, is generally a safeguard against disease (my dad swears its why he looks younger than everyone else at his workplace. Its probably more that he never eats "junk food" in general but it helps)
Hibiscus is good for your liver and pissing and muscles and stuff
Rosehip is good for skin joints and general connective tissues
Also all of these with the exception of fennel are very tasty. Fennel is an admittedly acquired taste. It has the flavour of candies that are in the boxes people use to store sewing supplies in
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!thin free advice, drink fennel tea
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eating any gross stuff can suppress appetite.
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i love fennel but i hate the taste of hibiscus
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Rosehips are also a great
source 
of vitamin c.
Hibiscus cannot be taken after you get preggers Carpy
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I mostly drink normal teas
I like tea that's coarse and in big leaves, none of that ground to dust shit and definitely no packets.
I like black and green with jasmine. Had some white too and it was nice. Also green with soursop was very nice
Besides that I like fruit teas and chamemoile (idfk how you spell it). Oh and also hot juices and cocoa
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Coffee
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Strictly raspberry
and mint
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raspberry leaf tea is good for period cramps
i picked and dried 3 32oz jars worth a few years ago when my bushes were just starting to leaf and then they never fruited again 
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anyone with female parts issues should be taking https://duckduckgo.com?t=ftsa&q=lydia+pinkham+pills
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black cohosh? butterfly weed? boy that shit will straight up give you an abortion if you're unlucky. i would not eat those lol
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every woman i know that had uncomfy periods, and took these, now swears by them. suffer, if you are afraid of common herbs. if you are in a condition to be afraid of an abortion, take literally nothing but water for any illness because the baby didnt ask to be poisoned.
...and then don't jack it up full of aluminum-adjuvated vaccines by their dozen in the first year, to avoid the 'tism
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i'm not worried about my future baby having autism because you have left none for the rest of us
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I'm just saying:
Aluminum is neurotoxic
When nanoparticulate aluminum is injected to rats, it crosses their blood-brain barrier
This causes brain disease of various sorts, in lab rats
When you include aluminum in vaccines as an adjuvant, it makes them more effective and more profitable per dose
There has never been a placebo-controlled randomized clinical trial of any of the vaccines you gave your children
Autism rates have increased in lockstep with the number of vaccines on the schedule and
Black boys are getting hit hardest but literally nobody gives a frick and asks why
sorry for noticing
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peppermint tea
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Redpill me on peppermint
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unironically soothing for upset tummy
also raccoons don't like the smell
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its minty fresh and warms u up on the inside like pepper
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That doesn't sound very esoteric and mystical
You didn't even use the word antioxidants
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well what is the niche thing the title refers to butthole
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This ancient thing :(
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O&A listeners were rich since it was only on Satellite radio that rich people get
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i use dr bronners peppermint soap.
feels frickin great on your junk
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it burns like a motherlover unless u dilute it are u insane or trying to get people to burn their nuts? also it can frick with your skin and give u a rash if u use it too much.
I like Dr Bronners in general but the peppermint one is caustic neighbor
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i like how it feels
i dont dilute, just use a little bit.
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it must be a tiny bit or we have a different defintion of little cuz that shit will have my scalp, balls, armpits, butthole, or any other sensitive area burning for a minute if i use a regular sized amount of soap that I would with Dr Bronners other flavors. Specifically the peppermint one is just strong as frick, probably the Tea Tree one too I imagine since Tea Tree oil is pretty strong.
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dr bronner's is my favorite soap. i use the tea tree one for everything and i LOVE the schizo paragraphs on the bottle.
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yeah the bottle ramblings are
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It tastes like peppermint
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When I'm with mormon friends I will go through multiple pots of the stuff. You never have to buy it either
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I think I drink more peppermint tea than water
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Pepsi zero but I pop a few melatonin so it's technically not caffeinated
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Im going to be super simple but rub your ego a bit. Vanilla Earl Grey has been really good while playing NMS sick with covid. Im finally better and going back to work but this weekend i have more time to fly around.
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you (and carp) should try a double bergamot earl grey
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I definitely love double bergamot.
Give me all the black tea please
Only good thing to come from the
other than monty python and bowie
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Tea is un-American, drink coffee you cute twink
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Coffee is moorish nonsense
The descendants of coffee literally did 9/11
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False, coffee originated in Ethiopia. Your really pissing me off here. This is the lowest my opinion of you has ever gotten.
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And humanity originated in Ethiopia you fricking clown ergo THE 9/11 HIJACKERS ARE DESCENDED FROM THERE
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i might be basic but i just drink nice and hot decaffeinated green tea
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why decaf???? what are you getting out of sipping that flavorless hot leaf water if you don't get at least caffeine from it?
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i once had a bit of a caffeine problem... which resulted in stroke level blood pressure (190/140) sooooo yeah
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Did you take caffeine pills? I figure it would be hard to drink too much caffeine from natural sources. I guess very strong energy drinks or enough espresso would do it too
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no it was long term abuse, not the specific amount even tho it was still pretty high
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