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r/cooking: What are your most egregious, Straight to Jail, Do Not Pass Go, Do Not Collect $200, cooking and/or food sins?

https://www.reddit.com/r/Cooking/comments/1grx50u/what_are_your_most_egregious_straight_to_jail_do/

providing my useless unfathomably based opinion on these of course.

[πŸ’₯🍽️🍽️🍽️🍽️] in plates i'm smashing if i see this shit at the table

Most People Left Traumatized After Sunday Dinner

Family Dinners Ruined: [πŸ’₯πŸ’₯πŸ’₯πŸ’₯🍽️]

My sister has been dipping hot, cooked beef taquitos into a glass of skim milk for well over 20 years. (598)

I hope she is getting all the help she needs. (108)

fricking disgusting. skim milk is vile. even as a milk hater i abhorred skim milk before i swore off milk entirely. i barely even know what a taquito is but this shit is still offensive.

Family Dinners Ruined: [πŸ’₯πŸ’₯πŸ’₯πŸ’₯πŸ’₯]

simply not adding salt to anything ever (985)

My dad's gf had us all over for NYE dinner one year. She decided to make fish & chips. She's completely salt intolerant and my dad is 100lbs overweight and on a quadruple bypass diet, so no salt there.

She makes this meal. I'm not kidding, it was absolutely inedible. I'm watching my buddy try and eat it, and he's putting tiny little pieces in his mouth and chewing for 10 minutes.

The breading on the fish, it was this mealy mess of flavorless bready doughy something. She didn't have the oil hot enough, clearly, and there was no salt, so it was oily, poorly cooked, and flavorless. There was no fix. Later on we went on a short road trip to a local wings emporium and got a couple baskets to wash away any potential nightmares.

The wine was great, that's all I'm going to add. (374)

i fricking love salt and at this point i'm used to never having enough on my food. it's a fact i've had to accept. fricking up the frying though? come on. if you're going to cook actual shit anyway you might as well salt the food so there can be some glimmer of joy in your useless life. it's not like it was healthy shit either. you're killing your body with the oil anyway, just take the L :marseyl:

Family Dinners Ruined: [πŸ’₯πŸ’₯🍽️🍽️🍽️]

My girfriend has a family chili recipe. I was really excited to eat it, because she was really excited to cook it for me and she doesn't really like to cook that much.

It's spicy V8 with a can of beans poured in and boiled. (195)

eugh.

most of the rest of these just get into kitchen prep and stuff. not nearly as funny smfh

Most Heirloom Cast Iron Pans Smashed Against The Countertop

Pans Dented: [πŸ’₯πŸ’₯πŸ₯˜πŸ₯˜πŸ₯˜]

The act of reaching for the salt, pepper or any other condiment and pouring it over their food BEFORE tasting their food. (372)

i do this to my family but i'm a proud hypocrite cause i know my cooking is just better. when they let me out of this place i'll finally start cooking again. it helps

Pans Dented: [πŸ’₯πŸ’₯πŸ₯˜πŸ₯˜πŸ₯˜]

If the majority of someone's recipes call for a crockpot, frozen meat, blocks of cream cheese, and a bag of shredded cheese. (42)

frick cream cheese. nasty shit. shredded cheese is on thin ice. crockpots and frozen meat are great though, they can stay

Pans Dented: [πŸ’₯πŸ’₯πŸ’₯πŸ’₯πŸ₯˜]

My father-in-law and brother-in-law put cooked hamburgers on the same sheet they had the raw hamburgers on. I one time said something and they told me "There are so many preservatives that it dont matter." First of all "no" and second of all "use a clean sheet!" (19)

if i see anyone doing this to food i'm not eating it. and if (god forbid) they do it to meat i cooked? motherlover the news will be reporting on our "altercation" for weeks

eh i'm getting bored now. surely this post goes in the food hole

48
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Wigger food sin: I used to drink Orange Juice concentrate, undiluted syrupy goodness, but now it's absurdly more expensive than the Kroger gallon for some reason so I've settled :marseycry: I could afford it but I'm being cheap.

Tragedy :#marseyweeping: :#pepeleave:

https://i.rdrama.net/images/17317408061607676.webp

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that sounds pretty :marseyroan: based :marseyking: tbh

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Man I remember eating frozen orange juice concentrate out of those weird cardboard tubes with a spoon when I was a kid.

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No, I leave it fridge so it's a syrup and drink that

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That is the blackest thing I've ever heard

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You ever make an orange julius

It's just milk, sugar, OJ concentrate, ice, and vanilla extract blended. If you're an alcoholic like me you can spike it with a shitload of vodka too.

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>Spike it with vodka too

You have it exactly backwards friend

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Darn I don't remember Mulder being that based

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There's like one or two episodes a season where he flies off the handle. But yeah, I don't remember this either. :( He was always cooler than Scully.

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Scully was great, best Catholic in popular media. :marseyindignant: I was saying this to @IRREDEEMABLE-CHUD just the other week.

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>Gets gangbanged by aliens like 4 times

>Has their alien babies

>Finds secret files that say things like "We're making aliens gangbang Scully"

>Next week in a snarky tone: "Mulder, there's no such thing as aliens."

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This is vile

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Swap your milk/extract with a scoop of vanilla whey protein in that and you have a pretty good protein shake, too

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Juice is for children and fats. Which are you?

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:#marseysullen: Not my heckin oranges...

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