Unable to load image

r/cooking: What are your most egregious, Straight to Jail, Do Not Pass Go, Do Not Collect $200, cooking and/or food sins?

https://www.reddit.com/r/Cooking/comments/1grx50u/what_are_your_most_egregious_straight_to_jail_do/

								

								

providing my useless unfathomably based opinion on these of course.

[πŸ’₯🍽️🍽️🍽️🍽️] in plates i'm smashing if i see this shit at the table

Most People Left Traumatized After Sunday Dinner

Family Dinners Ruined: [πŸ’₯πŸ’₯πŸ’₯πŸ’₯🍽️]

My sister has been dipping hot, cooked beef taquitos into a glass of skim milk for well over 20 years. (598)

I hope she is getting all the help she needs. (108)

fricking disgusting. skim milk is vile. even as a milk hater i abhorred skim milk before i swore off milk entirely. i barely even know what a taquito is but this shit is still offensive.

Family Dinners Ruined: [πŸ’₯πŸ’₯πŸ’₯πŸ’₯πŸ’₯]

simply not adding salt to anything ever (985)

My dad's gf had us all over for NYE dinner one year. She decided to make fish & chips. She's completely salt intolerant and my dad is 100lbs overweight and on a quadruple bypass diet, so no salt there.

She makes this meal. I'm not kidding, it was absolutely inedible. I'm watching my buddy try and eat it, and he's putting tiny little pieces in his mouth and chewing for 10 minutes.

The breading on the fish, it was this mealy mess of flavorless bready doughy something. She didn't have the oil hot enough, clearly, and there was no salt, so it was oily, poorly cooked, and flavorless. There was no fix. Later on we went on a short road trip to a local wings emporium and got a couple baskets to wash away any potential nightmares.

The wine was great, that's all I'm going to add. (374)

i fricking love salt and at this point i'm used to never having enough on my food. it's a fact i've had to accept. fricking up the frying though? come on. if you're going to cook actual shit anyway you might as well salt the food so there can be some glimmer of joy in your useless life. it's not like it was healthy shit either. you're killing your body with the oil anyway, just take the L :marseyl:

Family Dinners Ruined: [πŸ’₯πŸ’₯🍽️🍽️🍽️]

My girfriend has a family chili recipe. I was really excited to eat it, because she was really excited to cook it for me and she doesn't really like to cook that much.

It's spicy V8 with a can of beans poured in and boiled. (195)

eugh.

most of the rest of these just get into kitchen prep and stuff. not nearly as funny smfh

Most Heirloom Cast Iron Pans Smashed Against The Countertop

Pans Dented: [πŸ’₯πŸ’₯πŸ₯˜πŸ₯˜πŸ₯˜]

The act of reaching for the salt, pepper or any other condiment and pouring it over their food BEFORE tasting their food. (372)

i do this to my family but i'm a proud hypocrite cause i know my cooking is just better. when they let me out of this place i'll finally start cooking again. it helps

Pans Dented: [πŸ’₯πŸ’₯πŸ₯˜πŸ₯˜πŸ₯˜]

If the majority of someone's recipes call for a crockpot, frozen meat, blocks of cream cheese, and a bag of shredded cheese. (42)

frick cream cheese. nasty shit. shredded cheese is on thin ice. crockpots and frozen meat are great though, they can stay

Pans Dented: [πŸ’₯πŸ’₯πŸ’₯πŸ’₯πŸ₯˜]

My father-in-law and brother-in-law put cooked hamburgers on the same sheet they had the raw hamburgers on. I one time said something and they told me "There are so many preservatives that it dont matter." First of all "no" and second of all "use a clean sheet!" (19)

if i see anyone doing this to food i'm not eating it. and if (god forbid) they do it to meat i cooked? motherlover the news will be reporting on our "altercation" for weeks

eh i'm getting bored now. surely this post goes in the food hole

48
Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

Wigger food sin: I used to drink Orange Juice concentrate, undiluted syrupy goodness, but now it's absurdly more expensive than the Kroger gallon for some reason so I've settled :marseycry: I could afford it but I'm being cheap.

Tragedy :#marseyweeping: :#pepeleave:

https://i.rdrama.net/images/17317408061607676.webp

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

Man I remember eating frozen orange juice concentrate out of those weird cardboard tubes with a spoon when I was a kid.

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

No, I leave it fridge so it's a syrup and drink that

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

That is the blackest thing I've ever heard

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

You ever make an orange julius

It's just milk, sugar, OJ concentrate, ice, and vanilla extract blended. If you're an alcoholic like me you can spike it with a shitload of vodka too.

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

>Spike it with vodka too

You have it exactly backwards friend

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

Darn I don't remember Mulder being that based

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

There's like one or two episodes a season where he flies off the handle. But yeah, I don't remember this either. :( He was always cooler than Scully.

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

Scully was great, best Catholic in popular media. :marseyindignant: I was saying this to @IRREDEEMABLE-CHUD just the other week.

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

>Gets gangbanged by aliens like 4 times

>Has their alien babies

>Finds secret files that say things like "We're making aliens gangbang Scully"

>Next week in a snarky tone: "Mulder, there's no such thing as aliens."

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

This is vile

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

Swap your milk/extract with a scoop of vanilla whey protein in that and you have a pretty good protein shake, too

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

that sounds pretty :marseyroan: based :marseyking: tbh

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

Juice is for children and fats. Which are you?

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

:#marseysullen: Not my heckin oranges...

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

https://media.tenor.com/tpLabqsh15wAAAAx/the-sopranos.webp

if someone doesn't wash their hands before cooking I do not trust them to cook. you'd be surprised by how many people don't do this :marseyyikes:


https://i.rdrama.net/images/17308113587099795.webp

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

Sorry @PunishedIVIaskerade's immune system is fricking actually good and not poisoned by goyslop

@PunishedIVIaskerade guess that's why White extinction is long overdue

:chudjakcrytalking#:

:reposthorse#:

https://i.rdrama.net/images/17315440787647722.webp https://i.rdrama.net/images/1731544078915392.webp https://i.rdrama.net/images/1731544078973723.webp https://i.rdrama.net/images/17315440790428748.webp

https://i.rdrama.net/images/17315448141764104.webp

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

That's disgusting. Total cross-contaminator death.

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

I wash my hands, then scratch my butt, then cook. Wouldnt want my butt to get infected.

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

It's like going too the fricking potty. Why would you not wash you're hands before you go, b-word? Hands are fricking disgusting and @PunishedIVIaskerade is not touching girlpeepee with them. Then when you're done, you haven't peed on you're hands (I hope, some scrotes seem too be bad at this) and have shielded you're fingers with TP so why do you need too wash you're hands after, b-word?

Literally backwards "logic" most sheeple have and that's why White extinction is long overdue

:chudjakcrytalking#:

:reposthorse#:

https://i.rdrama.net/images/17315440787647722.webp https://i.rdrama.net/images/1731544078915392.webp https://i.rdrama.net/images/1731544078973723.webp https://i.rdrama.net/images/17315440790428748.webp

https://i.rdrama.net/images/17315448141764104.webp

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

:marseythis::marseythis::marseythis:

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

yeah ill wash my hands before cooking, and then ill wash them everytime i touch raw meat..... :marseyclueless: get outta here with that shit

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

I once caught my former room-mate putting cooked chicken back on the same plate she had the raw meat on.

:#marseypuke:

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

t. :#soycry:

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

I scream "Death to PastaBIPOC" when I snap the spaghetti in half.

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

@PunishedIVIaskerade was fricking winding up one of @PunishedIVIaskerade's italian coworkers a fricking while ago with @PunishedIVIaskerade's inventive culinary ideas, such as using spaghetti as a fricking substitute for lasagna sheets so it's easier too fit into the fricking tray

White extinction is long overdue

:chudjakcrytalking#:

:reposthorse#:

https://i.rdrama.net/images/17315440787647722.webp https://i.rdrama.net/images/1731544078915392.webp https://i.rdrama.net/images/1731544078973723.webp https://i.rdrama.net/images/17315440790428748.webp

https://i.rdrama.net/images/17315448141764104.webp

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

Cream cheese is good on a bagel or in a cheesecake.

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

I'm beyond mayoness and actually believe mayos use TOO MUCH spice. Like not everything needs salt, pepper and whatever spice combo you bought. Or your favorite spice being put on everything.

For the most part I only use a bit of pepper at times. There are too many people who don't want to know what food tastes like.

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

Oh boy @PunishedIVIaskerade can't wait too go down south where they have loads of different food that they slather in hot sauce so it all tastes the fricking same

@PunishedIVIaskerade unironically agree that White extinction is long overdue

:chudjakcrytalking#:

:reposthorse#:

https://i.rdrama.net/images/17315440787647722.webp https://i.rdrama.net/images/1731544078915392.webp https://i.rdrama.net/images/1731544078973723.webp https://i.rdrama.net/images/17315440790428748.webp

https://i.rdrama.net/images/17315448141764104.webp

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

Costco cocktail shrimp on costco cheese pizza. Make sure to squeeze lemon over slice and dab cocktail sauce on each shrimp.

Deenz and guac sandwich. Sardines, guac, jalapeΓ±os, toasted bread. Perfection.

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

imagining the taste :marseylicking: of that i am unconvinced, but i might actually :marseynerd3: give this a try if i get the opportunity.

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

https://i.rdrama.net/images/1731770332070115.webp https://i.rdrama.net/images/1731770332213054.webp


https://i.rdrama.net/images/17191743323420358.webp

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

I frick my potatoes before I boil them...

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

Is this the fricking vegan equivalent of the fricking chicken question

White extinction is long overdue

:chudjakcrytalking#:

:reposthorse#:

https://i.rdrama.net/images/17315440787647722.webp https://i.rdrama.net/images/1731544078915392.webp https://i.rdrama.net/images/1731544078973723.webp https://i.rdrama.net/images/17315440790428748.webp

https://i.rdrama.net/images/17315448141764104.webp

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

as a milk hater

brown

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

My father-in-law and brother-in-law put cooked hamburgers on the same sheet they had the raw hamburgers on. I one time said something and they told me "There are so many preservatives that it dont matter." First of all "no" and second of all "use a clean sheet!"

I get it, but with burgers its kinda 'eh'. I wouldnt eat it if it was done with anything but beef though.

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

Here's mine:

>using skim milk

Quit being scared of dietary fat, just drink less if you want fewer calories

>preground fine pepper

Literally don't see the purpose of this. Fine salt has its uses for baking though

>not sharpening/honing knives

I've driven people to the hospital 3 times because they were working with a dull knife that slipped

>not cleaning while you cook

Nothing more appetizing at staring down a mountain of pans that I know will need to be cleaned up and could have been done 20 minutes ago

I'm sure I have more but I'd have to cook something to recall

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

my foid literally refuses to clean while cooking, even things like "oh add water to a pot so the food doesnt stick" and it makes me :marseydepressed: :marseygunshotsuicide:

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

Lmao I can understand people not realizing they can do it, but actively refusing? :marseydarkxd:

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

it's hard out there for :marseyssflag: straggots, the things :marseymoidmoment: s need to do

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

I've driven people to the hospital 3 times because they were working with a dull knife that slipped

join edgelords, motherlover!

you seem like the fricking kind of guy who knows his way around a fricking blade

Namaste.

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

>The act of reaching for the salt, pepper or any other condiment and pouring it over their food BEFORE tasting their food.

:gigachad2:

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

i see anyone doing this to food i'm not eating it. and if (god forbid) they do it to meat i cooked? motherlover the news will be reporting on our "altercation" for weeks

Kitty. :#marseyshapiro:

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

i eat plain cream cheese on its own and you can't stop me, motherlover!

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

how are you this good at clout farming man :marseywagie: :marseywagie: :marseywagie: :marseybeggar: :marseybeggar: :marseybeggar:

black trans lives matter

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

Dropped a skittle on the floor of a supermarket near the entrance. Picked it up and ate it. Oh wait, that was @pizzashill

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

@PunishedIVIaskerade is fully seedoilpilled. If it's not cold pressed extra virgin, @PunishedIVIaskerade don't want it. @PunishedIVIaskerade don't cut the fricking fat off meat, and @PunishedIVIaskerade use a fricking decent amount of locally sourced butter in @PunishedIVIaskerade's cooking. @PunishedIVIaskerade is fully convinced dietary fat is fricking basically harmless, and @PunishedIVIaskerade don't care about adding more too a fricking dish too make it taste better.

White extinction is long overdue

:chudjakcrytalking#:

:reposthorse#:

https://i.rdrama.net/images/17315440787647722.webp https://i.rdrama.net/images/1731544078915392.webp https://i.rdrama.net/images/1731544078973723.webp https://i.rdrama.net/images/17315440790428748.webp

https://i.rdrama.net/images/17315448141764104.webp

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

Link copied to clipboard
Action successful!
Error, please refresh the page and try again.